Bureaucracy In Action

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Our next contestant is on the line. Hi, you're on ASK ME ANOTHER.

MARC NAIMARK: Hi, Ophira. It's Marc Naimark, calling from Paris.

EISENBERG: Paris - you're in France?

NAIMARK: I am, where it's...

EISENBERG: Awesome, nice.

NAIMARK: ...Late at night.

EISENBERG: Thanks, Marc, for calling in. Where are you originally from?

NAIMARK: I'm originally from Michigan.

EISENBERG: And now you make your home in Paris. Are you a Francophile?

(LAUGHTER)

NAIMARK: Living here kind of makes you not much of a Francophile.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: That's right. That is correct. So I know that along the way, you've been involved in various political committees and community boards. Are you working in some aspect of that in Paris?

NAIMARK: I am. I'm on the community board of my neighborhood here in Belleville in Eastern Paris. I deal with things like streets and public art project and things like that.

EISENBERG: OK, nice. So this is perfect game for you 'cause you probably know a little something about bureaucracy.

NAIMARK: Oh, God.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: 'Cause your game is called Bureaucracy In Action 'cause every federal intern dreams of having a job title that is super long so they can be impressive. So we've invented a game to celebrate those wonderful bureaucratic titles. So in this challenge, I'm going to give you a job title within the federal government of the United States, and you have to tell me whether it's real or fake. That's it.

NAIMARK: Oh, my God. OK, go ahead.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right, here we go - acting associate administrator for the administration for the Maritime Administration.

NAIMARK: (Laughter) Oh, my God. I'll say that could be real.

EISENBERG: It is real.

(APPLAUSE)

NAIMARK: Great.

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: I was just noticing the acronym for that title is AAAAMA.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Director of the National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration National Weather Service's National Data Buoy Center.

NAIMARK: Oh, my God, that has to be true.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) You're right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Data buoy kind of sounds like, I don't know, Aquaman's sidekick - brainy sidekick...

NAIMARK: Data Boy.

COULTON: Data Buoy.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...Data Buoy. Now, why did you say that is for-sure real - because that is just how - you know that they are that crazy?

NAIMARK: They are that crazy. And all the elements actually made sense independently, and then you just kind of put them together. It's kind of like German, you know?

(LAUGHTER)

NAIMARK: You put the different bits that kind of make sense together, and it makes a new word.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Makes a new job - yes, exactly.

NAIMARK: Makes a new job in this case, yeah.

EISENBERG: Assistant administrator for Civil Rights Of Unaccompanied Minors, Federal Aviation Administration.

NAIMARK: Could there be a comma in there somewhere?

EISENBERG: Wow, you...

NAIMARK: You know, like before...

EISENBERG: Yeah, you know what's going on here. I'll tell you where that comma is.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: You kind of got a little "Wheel Of Fortune" on me there for a second. Assistant administrator for Civil Rights Of Unaccompanied Minors comma Federal Aviation Administration.

NAIMARK: OK, with the comma, I'm saying that that's a real job title.

EISENBERG: No, I'm sorry.

NAIMARK: No?

EISENBERG: That is fake, yeah. Nobody cares about unaccompanied minors.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I don't think they have any civil rights.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Right. Their parents don't care. Nobody cares.

COULTON: No, no.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that one is fake. Try this one - division chief comma...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...Division Of Wild Horses comma Burros comma And Prairie Dogs comma Bureau of Land Management comma Department Of The Interior.

NAIMARK: I'm sorry. All of these sound really plausible. I'm going to go for yes for that one, too.

EISENBERG: That's hilarious. No, I'm sorry. That one is fake.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: There is a division - to be fair, there's a division chief for The Division Of Wild Horses And Burros, but no prairie dogs - yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

NAIMARK: Oh, I missed the prairie dogs. Sorry.

EISENBERG: This is your last question.

NAIMARK: Oh, God.

EISENBERG: United States chief technology officer.

NAIMARK: That's it - United States chief technology officer?

EISENBERG: Yep.

NAIMARK: He would be, like, the tech czar or something like that, right?

EISENBERG: Yeah, the guy who controls Tron.

(LAUGHTER)

NAIMARK: Controls Tron or healthcare.gov. If there's not one, there should be.

EISENBERG: I like that as an answer.

NAIMARK: So I'm going to say yes.

EISENBERG: Yes, that one is real.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Marc, you did it. We are going to send, all the way to France, probably with huge amounts of customs forms, a limited edition ASK ME ANOTHER Rubik's Cube for you. Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

NAIMARK: A dream come true.

EISENBERG: A bientot, Marc.

NAIMARK: A bientot.

EISENBERG: Now, there's no federal department of trivia just yet, so until then, we are the next best thing. If you would like to be a contestant on our show, just email us at askmeanother@npr.org. And if you've heard an interesting bit of trivia, true or false, share it with us. Find us on Facebook or Twitter. Just look around for NPR ASK ME ANOTHER. And coming up, we'll see if our VIP, Meg Wolitzer, loves anagrams as much as she claims to. So stay tuned. This is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.