Ampers And What?

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

We are about to put our VIP, Anna Chlumsky, in the puzzle hot seat, but first, for a game titled Ampers And What? Let's welcome Caitlin Millat and David Stevens.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Caitlin, David, you both have spent time in academia. David spent 20 years as a theater professor. Caitlin, you're an academic dean right now. You guys could be, like, a TV duo.

CAITLIN MILLAT: Could be a TV duo.

EISENBERG: Oh, you are a TV duo.

MILLAT: We are currently a TV duo, yeah.

DAVID STEVENS: Absolutely - the dean and the professor is what they call us.

MILLAT: Yes.

EISENBERG: The dean and the professor.

MILLAT: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: OK.

MILLAT: Yes.

EISENBERG: David, can you describe what - your character in one sentence - your half of the duo. What is - who are you in this?

STEVENS: I'm a chemistry professor, and I take care of all the evidence and turn it over the dean who then knows what to do with it. Deans know everything.

EISENBERG: OK, yeah.

MILLAT: Thank you, David.

EISENBERG: Caitlin.

MILLAT: What he said.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

MILLAT: Also I do the entertainment.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah.

MILLAT: Yeah.

EISENBERG: You guys have worked this out. I wasn't expecting that. I really appreciate it. Now, you will notice from watching television that often TV execs kind of phone it in when they're naming their programs. Like, how hard was it to come up with "Mork & Mindy?"

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: And we are going to quiz you on other TV show titles that are just two words plus an ampersand, but the clues will be impossible and you will do very badly at this.

(LAUGHTER)

MILLAT: Great.

EISENBERG: That's the crime.

COULTON: That's the crime.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: We are about to murder your spirits.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Puzzle guru Greg Pliska, how about an example?

GREG PLISKA: Of course. Well, Caitlin and David, if I said actor Jude and a restaurant request, that would be "Law & Order" - not impossible at all.

COULTON: Yeah, see, it's not so hard. So just tell us the real name of the show. The winner will move on to our Ask Me One More final round. Here we go. Lock opener and fruit rind.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Caitlin.

MILLAT: "Key & Peele."

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: A clever carnivorous mammal and pals.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Caitlin.

MILLAT: "Fox & Friends."

COULTON: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Three-year-olds and Wonder Woman's headgear.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Caitlin.

MILLAT: "Toddlers & Tiaras."

COULTON: You are tearing it up, Caitlin.

MILLAT: Not that I watch that show.

COULTON: No, no, of course not.

EISENBERG: Sure, you do.

COULTON: You would be a monster if you watched that show.

MILLAT: Purely know about it from others.

COULTON: Yeah, you've just heard about it. I get it.

MILLAT: Yeah, just heard about it.

EISENBERG: What's more your wheelhouse - "16 & Pregnant?"

(LAUGHTER)

MILLAT: Too close to the vest for me, Ophira.

(LAUGHTER)

MILLAT: I like it all.

COULTON: All television.

MILLAT: All television.

COULTON: All television is great.

MILLAT: All of that fine genre...

COULTON: I agree with you.

MILLAT: ...I must say.

COULTON: President Pierce and wild party.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: David.

STEVENS: "Franklin & Hatch."

COULTON: No, I'm sorry, that is incorrect. Caitlin, do you know what it is?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

MILLAT: "Franklin & Bash."

COULTON: "Franklin & Bash" is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: David, don't feel bad. I have never seen that show myself.

EISENBERG: All I know is that a raging Franklin Pierce bash is going to be way better than a Whig Party.

(LAUGHTER)

MILLAT: Whig.

EISENBERG: With an H.

COULTON: A Whig Party.

EISENBERG: A Whig Party.

COULTON: Electronic memory game and electronic memory game.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Caitlin.

MILLAT: "Simon & Simon."

COULTON: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

MILLAT: Is that show?

EISENBERG: Yeah, that's show.

MILLAT: I know the game.

COULTON: Not anymore - I mean, it was - it was a show.

EISENBERG: And Simon used to be a video game actually. I think it was the first...

MILLAT: Yeah, oh, I know the game.

EISENBERG: Oh, you know the game.

MILLAT: The colors, yeah.

EISENBERG: Yeah, OK, so you know the game.

MILLAT: Yeah, but I wasn't sure if it was a show.

EISENBERG: Do you know that game from as a child?

MILLAT: Child-slash-teenager.

EISENBERG: OK, yeah.

MILLAT: Supercool teenager.

EISENBERG: Right, you bought it at Urban Outfitters.

MILLAT: Yes.

EISENBERG: Got it.

MILLAT: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I just had a great idea for a reality show.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: It's called "Simon And Simon" and it's Paul Simon and Neil Simon have to live in a house together.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah, and play that game the whole time.

COULTON: And play that game the whole time.

EISENBERG: Beep, boop.

COULTON: Male siblings and nuns.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: David.

STEVENS: "Brothers & Sisters."

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Voice amplifier and ecstasy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Caitlin.

MILLAT: Not sure why I buzzed.

COULTON: I think I know.

MILLAT: Oh, "Mike & Molly."

COULTON: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Half of the audience is putting it together.

MILLAT: That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: This is your last question - the teachings of Buddha and the oldest Brady sibling.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Caitlin.

MILLAT: "Dharma & Greg."

COULTON: That's right, well done.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Greg Pliska, how did our contestants do?

PLISKA: Well, Caitlin, congratulations. You'll be moving on to our final round.

MILLAT: Thanks.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.