Back In Time

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Our next game is called Back in Time; let's say hello to our contestants Craig Risinger and Noah Weber. Alright guys, you both seem very smart. If you could go back in time, what is one thing from the present you would take with you? I'm going to start with Craig.

CRAIG RISINGER: Well, you know, the first question is can I bring an entire telecommunication infrastructure with me? But assuming that's not really an option, my first thought immediately was just antibiotics; (laughter) the best invention from about 120 years ago. That's antibiotics if it's a short trip or instructions on how to make them if it's a long.

EISENBERG: You're hilarious; you went right for the pragmatism. You're like I do not want to be sick in the past.

RISINGER: It's a bad deal.

EISENBERG: Yeah, all right, how about you, Noah?

NOAH WEBER: Embarrassingly, exactly the same. I once got cholera, which is a very 19th century kind of disease.

EISENBERG: Sure. How did that happen?

WEBER: I was down in Haiti doing some work after the hurricane...

EISENBERG: OK.

WEBER: ...And yeah so - but really like that was the very first thing penicillin, antibiotics.

RISINGER: We've never seen each other before; we did not consult on this.

EISENBERG: All right, this is going to be a very even match. You guys get to play the music game. You're in for a good time. Jonathan Coulton, what are they going to be playing?

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Well, in honor of our long tradition of ruining perfectly good songs...

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: ...We have turned our attention to a little band; a little outfit out of England called The Beatles. We have rewritten their fantastic song, "Get Back" in a ruinous way to be about movie characters who want to get back to their own time period. So each verse is about a character or object in a movie that is out of time, and you have to tell me the movie. Are you ready?

EISENBERG: They are both equally ready.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Here we go. (Singing) Marty must escape from Libyans in a machine of Emmett Brown's design. When he meets his mom in 1955, she thinks his name is Calvin Klein. Get back, get back, get back so they can make part two. Get back, get back, your mother has the hots for you.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Craig?

RISINGER: "Back To The Future."

COULTON: That is correct.

EISENBERG: When Jonathan got to the lyric thinks his name is Calvin Klein, you both nodded at the same time.

COULTON: Maybe these guys are the same person just separated in time.

EISENBERG: Exactly.

RISINGER: Noah, I have to warn you about some things.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So Noah is you in the past? Is this what we've decided?

RISINGER: I think clearly.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Noah's got his game face on.

EISENBERG: Yeah, exactly.

COULTON: He's not going to be distracted by this. (Singing) Cyberdyne Systems Model 101's a cyborg with a job to do. Traveled back in time to murder Sarah Connor so her kid won't start a coup. Get back, get back, my thick accent you must forgive. Get back, get back, come with me if you want to live.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Craig?

RISINGER: "The Terminator."

COULTON: "The Terminator" is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: You didn't want to go I'll be back? That is the best time traveling slogan of all time.

COULTON: That would've been a good lyric approach, yeah. Next time, I'll let you review it before we...

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: (Singing) Get back, get back, get better or repeat this day. Get back, get back, or Punxsutawney's where you'll stay.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Noah?

WEBER: What is "Groundhog Day"?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Uh-oh.

COULTON: Do you want to rephrase your question in the form of an answer?

(LAUGHTER)

WEBER: I've been cramming a lot of "Jeopardy."

EISENBERG: Let's go back in time.

WEBER: "Groundhog Day."

COULTON: "Groundhog Day" is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Did you just justify it by saying I've been watching a lot of "Jeopardy"?

WEBER: It gets in your head. It's weird.

EISENBERG: I know, you're like the 900th person that has come on our stage and done that.

WEBER: It's a broken record.

COULTON: I've never seen the show so I don't...

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: (Singing) Somewhere in Chicago, there's a magic mailbox traveling between two years. Penpals may be lovers trying to get together, every time it ends in tears. Get back, get back, lucky Sandra Bullock receives. Get back, get back, love letters from Keanu Reeves.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Noah?

WEBER: "The Lake House."

COULTON: "The Lake House," yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I wasn't sure you were going to get that one, Noah.

COULTON: Oh, Noah seems like a romantic.

WEBER: Keanu - all things Keanu.

COULTON: All things Keanu.

WEBER: Yeah.

COULTON: Is that your blog - is that your Tumblr?

WEBER: It's tattooed.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's a tattoo (laughter). Right above my nipple that's what it says.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: All right, this is your last question. (Singing) Get back Cusack to that old, rundown ski resort. Get back Cusack, Jacuzzis aren't safe transport.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Craig?

RISINGER: "Hot Tub Time Machine."

COULTON: Oh, yeah, "Hot Tub Time Machine."

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That is preferred method of travel, is it not? If you had to pick one.

COULTON: It's pretty comfy. It takes a while to get going but it's worth it.

RISINGER: And you see why we wanted the antibiotics.

EISENBERG: Exactly, those cesspool hot tubs. Greg Pliska puzzle guru, how did these contestants do?

GREG PLISKA: Well, since he's from the future, it's no surprise that Craig knew more answers. So congratulations, Craig. You'll be our contestant in the final round.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll see if Anna Chlumsky can tell the difference between a hobbit and a dwarf. And if you're listening to the show, there's an 88 percent chance that you're a "Lord Of The Rings" super fan, so you really have something to look forward to. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.