Celebrity Foods

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

For a game titled Celebrity Foods, let's say hello to Sami Main and Liz Simon.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Now, you both have interesting jobs, but I also love that you had very interesting internships at some point in your job history. Sami, you're a creative coordinator at BuzzFeed, but you were an animal intern, which sounds vague and huge. What is that?

SAMI MAIN: Sure. Basically, we get to decide what's cute for a job. Like, that's what we do all day.

EISENBERG: You decide what's cute...

MAIN: Yeah.

EISENBERG: ...Like, what animals are cute.

MAIN: Yeah, what's cuter than other animals or...

EISENBERG: (Laughter) OK.

MAIN: There's a whole process, really.

EISENBERG: So it's sort of like panda or koala bear.

MAIN: Yeah.

EISENBERG: And what would you choose?

MAIN: Whatever's younger.

EISENBERG: Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

MAIN: You know, you know, like puppies are usually cuter than dogs. Whatever's the babiest animal is usually going to be cuter.

EISENBERG: Wow.

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: You're saying there are pictures of cute animals on the Internet.

(LAUGHTER)

MAIN: You're welcome.

COULTON: Not familiar with this phenomenon.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Liz is a litigator, and you interned at Fresh Air at one point in your career path.

LIZ SIMON: I did.

EISENBERG: And was that a fun experience?

SIMON: It was an interesting experience.

EISENBERG: Oh, good, yeah. What did you like about it?

SIMON: I liked that the day I went in for my interview, Terry Gross was interviewing Frank Zappa, and I thought that I had reached, like, the pinnacle of radio at that moment in my life.

EISENBERG: Did you want to work in radio after that?

SIMON: I did. I did, and then I realized that I had a lot of student loans to pay.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: In this game, we'll give you clues about a famous person who has a food as all or part of his or her last name and you will give us that person's name. This is a very confusing concept, so I'm going to go to our puzzle guru, Greg Pliska, for an example 'cause I don't understand it at all.

GREG PLISKA, BYLINE: If I said Wesley Crusher had to leave when the Enterprise went gluten-free and no one would stand by this actor, you would say Wil Wheaton.

COULTON: Do you understand the concept of this complicated game?

SIMON: Mhm.

MAIN: Mhm.

COULTON: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

MAIN: Let's do it.

COULTON: OK, here we go. This actress was golden and delicious as Veronica Corningstone in the "Anchorman" movies - golden and delicious.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Liz.

MAIN: Christina Applegate.

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: In "The Matrix," the red and blue pills that Morpheus offered Neo weren't high in omega-3s.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: But a dish named after the actor who played Morpheus would be.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Sami.

MAIN: Wesley Snipes.

COULTON: No, I'm sorry. That is incorrect. Liz, do you know who it is?

SIMON: I do, and I'm blanking on it right now because I - it's Samuel L. Jackson.

COULTON: No, that's also incorrect.

EISENBERG: Any other black guys?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: We'll just cut this question.

MAIN: We're out.

COULTON: We were looking for Laurence Fishburne.

MAIN: Oh, OK.

SIMON: Yeah.

COULTON: All those "Game Of Thrones" episodes and no mention of how much Ned Stark enjoyed these legumes in everything from burritos to hummus.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Sami.

MAIN: Sean Bean.

COULTON: Sean Bean is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: You should open up a taco stand in Westeros. Forget about the Iron Throne. There's no burritos, right?

COULTON: That's right.

EISENBERG: You can make a mint.

COULTON: That's right. You'd have to be mad men to think her work as Annie on "Community" is cheesy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Lot of hints in there - Sami.

MAIN: Alison Brie.

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This rock star's recommendation for any man-eater might be instead to have a hot breakfast with cereal made from this hearty grain.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: (Laughter) Liz.

SIMON: John Oates.

COULTON: John Oates. That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: It's an absurd question.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: If this actress cooked up a hearty soup, it might be filled with extremely rare, almost bloody meat, that glitters in the twilight.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Sami.

MAIN: (Laughter).

(LAUGHTER)

MAIN: My answer is Neve Campbell (laughter).

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: That is a company that makes soup, but that is not the answer that we were looking for. Liz, do you want to steal this one?

SIMON: I have no idea.

COULTON: We were looking for Kristen Stewart.

MAIN: Stew.

COULTON: This American Idol runner-up recently toured with Queen, where he might have sung Baa-hemian (ph) Rhapsody.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Sami.

MAIN: Adam Lambert.

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: I apologize to everyone in America.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Fat mutton girl.

(LAUGHTER)

PLISKA: I was thinking we will raa-ck (ph) you.

MAIN: Oh.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: How about baa-cycle (ph)?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: This martini-enhancing fruit is cured and fermented, giving it a long shelf life, meaning this HBO host could eat some of last week's tonight.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Sami.

MAIN: John Oliver.

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Greg Pliska, how did our contestants do?

PLISKA: Sami is our winner for this round, and we'll see you at the Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we're going to take a literal view of movie titles and do our best John Mayer impression, not by dating a lot of women, but by parodying one of his hits, so stick around. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is NPR.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.