Come Sail Away

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

You're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR and WNYC. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and we're live from the Lobero Theatre in Santa Barbara, Calif.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Let's say hello to Brian Mathis and Kala Grogg.

BRIAN MATHIS: Hello.

KALA GROGG: Hi.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Hi. Kala, you run a skincare business - awesome. Can you give us one essential skin care tip?

GROGG: Yes.

EISENBERG: Great.

GROGG: Wash your face morning and night.

EISENBERG: That sounds like a lot of commitment to my face.

(LAUGHTER)

GROGG: It is, but it's worth it, I promise.

EISENBERG: All right, good.

GROGG: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: Kala, what mode of travel, like, real or imagined, would you love to partake in?

GROGG: You know, since space travel has become commercially available...

EISENBERG: Yeah.

GROGG: ...I am so onto that.

EISENBERG: All right, just launch into space?

GROGG: Launch it, yeah.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that sounds fun. Brian?

MATHIS: I'm with Kala. I would take Millennium Falcon travel lines from "Star Wars."

EISENBERG: Yeah?

MATHIS: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Yeah, OK.

MATHIS: I think Chewbacca makes a great co-pilot, so...

WILL HINES, BYLINE: Neither of you should ever watch "Gravity."

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So this game is called Come Sail Away, and it's a music game. So let me turn it over to Captain Jonathan Coulton.

JONATHAN COULTON: In honor of our proximity to the sea, we have rewritten the lyrics to the song "Sloop John B." The verses will contain clues about real or fictional vessels that have sailed the seas or the stars. I know you guys are excited about that.

(LAUGHTER)

MATHIS: Absolutely.

COULTON: All you have to do is ring in and tell me the name of the vessel that I am singing about. You ready?

MATHIS: Yes.

GROGG: Ready.

COULTON: Here we go. (Singing) I set out to sail the sea, from England to NYC. Around the Labrador, we did roam. Carousing was nice 'till we hit some ice. Now the ship's all broke up. I wish I'd stayed home.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Brian.

MATHIS: The Titanic.

COULTON: The Titanic, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: That's what they call a gimme, Brian.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: But well done, well done.

MATHIS: I took it.

COULTON: (Singing) So gather the beasts aboard, pairs that make up a horde. I have it on good authority it will rain - whole lot of rain. Did I build this in vain? Yeah, yeah - wait, how big's a cubic? This flood is a pain.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kala.

GROGG: The ark.

COULTON: The ark, yes - Noah's Ark. That's correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Unless she meant Ark of the Covenant.

GROGG: No, I did not.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: (Singing) So here is your captain and crew. They are expecting you. Get to the lido deck. Time to start a romance. Don't miss your chance. Go ask that hot chick to dance. And if that don't work out, throw Julie a glance.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Brian.

MATHIS: I don't think I heard right, but I'm going to say "The Love Boat."

COULTON: "The Love Boat" is correct.

MATHIS: OK.

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: I'm curious to know what you heard that you thought did not jive with "The Love Boat."

MATHIS: I don't know. I thought you were referring to "Star Trek" for some reason, but...

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Maybe that's just wishful thinking on your part.

(LAUGHTER)

MATHIS: I'm just banking on the Enterprise will be up here soon.

COULTON: Here we go. (Singing) The pilot is grouchy, yes, Sir. The first mate's covered in fur. The ship's been used for smuggling cargo so far. Now it must fight, help the Skywalker plight. Yeah, this hunk of junk will defeat the Death Star.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Brian.

MATHIS: (Imitates Wookie) The Millennium Falcon.

COULTON: Yes. Wow.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

GROGG: He deserved that one. He totally did.

HINES: Relative to this show, that's pretty cool. In any other context, not that cool.

(LAUGHTER)

MATHIS: It's true.

COULTON: Here we go. (Singing) The scientist, he had a clue how bird beaks over time grew. In the Galapagos is where Charles brainstormed. Evolving won't quit. Survival means you are fit. Yeah, yeah, this dog-named boat's where this theory was formed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kala.

GROGG: The Labrador?

COULTON: That is a dog, but that is incorrect. Brian, do you know the answer?

MATHIS: Nope.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: What we were looking for was the HMS Beagle.

GROGG: Oh.

MATHIS: Oh.

COULTON: Charles Darwin's ship.

EISENBERG: That's the one we don't know, huh?

HINES: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

HINES: "Star Wars" - we got that.

EISENBERG: Yep. The one based on evolution...

HINES: Leonardo DiCaprio's movie - we got that. But the one that matters, we don't know.

EISENBERG: Yeah, we don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

HINES: "Love Boat" we had solid.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: "The Love Boat" - no problem.

HINES: Captain Stubing will be remembered forever, but Darwin - can't recall.

EISENBERG: I know. Charles Darwin right now is, like, rolling in his grave, going, what do I have to do?

(LAUGHTER)

HINES: By his own theory, he should have been more fit.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Will Hines, how did our contestants do?

HINES: They both did great, Jonathan. But our winner for that round was Brian. So Brian, we'll see you in the final round.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.