Compound Fractures

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

For a game titled Compound Fractures, let's say hello to our next contestants, Jason Buxton and George Manning.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: George, you're a competitive photographer.

GEORGE MANNING: Yes, I am. I once won a $10 honorable mention because I took a picture of my daughter in the best St. Louis location, which is under the arch. And I think everybody has the picture of your kid and then the arch is behind it, and it just looks epic. And I won $10.

EISENBERG: That's amazing.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Jason, a software developer that catches bad guys. What does that mean?

JASON BUXTON: Well, our software covers mortgage fraud. So we catch people who are trying to defraud banks. We once found a bank who had completely funded loans on a subdivision in Florida that did not exist based on pictures that they produced with cardboard cutouts.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Well, maybe George took those pictures.

BUXTON: It's possible.

(LAUGHTER)

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: In this game, we're taking words and fracturing them into two pieces to form two separate words. But they are not compound words in a traditional sense. This makes no sense. Puzzle guru Greg Pliska please explain.

GREG PLISKA, BYLINE: So if I said, I like to change the places of everything on the back part of the stove, the answer would be the words rearrange and rear range. Oh.

EISENBERG: They're furiously shaking hands, our contestants - sweating, nodding no, they're not going to get anything right. They don't want any part of this. They thought it was going to be fun.

COULTON: It's a very easy game, and we're all going to have a lot of fun. And of course the winner will move on to our final round at the end of the show. Are you ready?

MANNING: Yes?

COULTON: (Laughter) I'm going to smear this petroleum jelly on those flower holders that you've put in a row.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: George.

MANNING: Vaseline vase line.

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

BUXTON: That was well done.

COULTON: See?

EISENBERG: See, it's not so bad.

MANNING: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: You turned red; that means you have to go out back to the little storage building where we put people with a common contagious illness.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: George.

MANNING: Blushed blue shed.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Wow.

EISENBERG: It's very close.

MANNING: That's where I go when I'm sick...

COULTON: Very nice try...

MANNING: ...To the blue shed.

COULTON: ...But that is not how the word blue is spelled.

(LAUGHTER)

MANNING: That's a good point.

COULTON: Jason, do have a counter argument?

BUXTON: You turned red, and so you have to go out back to the...

COULTON: Little storage building...

BUXTON: ...Storage building.

COULTON: ...Where we put people with a common contagious illness.

BUXTON: Seriously? A common contagious?

COULTON: Yeah, I am being quite - I am being deadly serious, Jason.

BUXTON: There's a shed where we keep people who have a common contagious...

COULTON: Well, no, not really, no.

(APPLAUSE)

BUXTON: Where did you grow up, man? OK.

EISENBERG: No, listen; it's just a good idea. We're not saying it exists.

BUXTON: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

BUXTON: Yeah, I'm sorry. I got nothing on that one.

COULTON: That's all right, the answer we were looking for was flushed and flu shed.

BUXTON: Really? Thank you. Thank you very much.

(BOOING)

COULTON: Oh, you're mad at me now.

EISENBERG: Hey, those booers are going to go in a little hut.

COULTON: Yeah, you're going to go in the boo shed.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: A little boo shed (laughter).

COULTON: And now watch as a pink, wading bird leaps through a circle of fire.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Jason.

BUXTON: Flamingo flame in go.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Almost.

COULTON: It sounds like you just said the same word twice.

BUXTON: Flame in go.

EISENBERG: Do not put down his creative mind.

COULTON: No, I...

BUXTON: How about flaming O?

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: Yeah, flaming O, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Boy, is anyone else exhausted?

(LAUGHTER)

BUXTON: I'm tired, man.

COULTON: OK, regardless of how famous or important you are, we don't have a place for you at our restaurant.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: George.

MANNING: Notable no table.

COULTON: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

BUXTON: Dude, you are rocking this.

COULTON: This is like watching the Olympics. This is amazing.

EISENBERG: I know, I know, I know. If only we could, like, give them a degree or like...

COULTON: I know. See those guys shooting that TV news report? They arrived with Japanese noodle soup. I'm starting to feel guilty.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I know - instant noodle soup?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Jason.

BUXTON: Cameramen?

COULTON: Yes.

BUXTON: So that would be...

COULTON: Are you asking me? 'Cause I know it.

BUXTON: ...Came Ramen.

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Charles Schwab lost all my money, and now I'm really angry.

PLISKA: What is Charles Schwab? It is a...

COULTON: Right, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Jason.

BUXTON: Brokerage and broke rage.

COULTON: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Yes.

MANNING: Nice job.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This is your last question.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: You're welcome, you're welcome, everybody.

BUXTON: Seriously.

COULTON: Hey, that hair on your upper lip has to really feel sore.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: George.

MANNING: Mustache must ache.

COULTON: It sure must. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Oh, my gosh. I feel like we're all winners in this room right now.

(LAUGHTER)

PLISKA: I'm sorry to tell you we have a tie.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

PLISKA: Here's your tiebreaker. Even though he was convicted of killing someone, we still heard that guy's guffaw.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BUXTON: Manslaughter man's laughter.

PLISKA: Jason, that is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

BUXTON: Hats off to the puzzle maker.

PLISKA: Congratulations, Jason. Well done, we'll see you in our final round at the end of the show.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we're going back to the '90s, back when every "Star Wars" movie was awesome, grown women wore scrunchies and MTV actually played music videos. So stick around. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.