Cookie Monster Vocals

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Now, please welcome our next contestants, Lisa Bennett and David Smead.

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EISENBERG: I love this when this happens. We have a married couple on our stage...

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EISENBERG: ...Competing against each other. This is how they work out their issues. And you are - you are visiting us. Where are you visiting us from?

LISA BENNETT: Atlanta.

EISENBERG: Atlanta.

BENNETT: Just outside of Atlanta.

EISENBERG: Just outside of Atlanta. And what brings you to New York?

DAVID SMEAD: We mainly came to go to the New York City all-day Sacred Harp convention...

(APPLAUSE)

SMEAD: ...To sing.

BENNETT: Singing.

EISENBERG: Yes, to sing. What kind of singing is it?

SMEAD: Sacred harp, it's shape note singing. It's a very old style of singing, a lot of songs about death.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

BENNETT: Memento mori.

EISENBERG: Right, OK.

BENNETT: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Uplifting.

BENNETT: Yeah, exactly.

EISENBERG: You are going to love this game. It is called Cookie Monster Vocals...

BENNETT: Oh, boy.

EISENBERG: ...And lucky, lucky, lucky Jonathan Coulton...

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Yes.

EISENBERG: ...Is going to explain to you what's about to happen.

COULTON: So in death metal, some singers sing with this kind of gravelly voice that people like to call Cookie Monster vocals. You're both nodding your heads, as if you're like, yeah, we know death metal - because obviously nothing says death metal like a delicious cookie. Now, in this game we are focusing on Cookie Monster's habit of confusing pronouns, specifically I with me. So I am going to - or if I were Cookie Monster, I would say, me am going to replace all of the I's in a song with me's, and you then have tell me the song's title as Cookie Monster would sing it.

(LAUGHTER, GROANING)

COULTON: It makes perfect sense. Here's an example for you. (Singing) Oh, yeah, me will tell you something me think you'll understand when me say that something - and you would answer, me want to hold your hand.

SMEAD: Of course we would.

COULTON: Of course you would.

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COULTON: The winner will move on to our Ask Me One More final round. The loser will get a delicious cookie. So really everybody wins.

(Singing) Me saw him dancing there by the record machine. Knew he must have been about 17. The beat was going strong, playing my favorite song. Me could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah me, me could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah me, singing - Lisa?

BENNETT: (Singing) Me love rock 'n roll.

COULTON: Yeah.

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COULTON: (Singing) Didn't me, didn't me, didn't me see you crying? Didn't me, didn't me, didn't me see you crying? Feel all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying. Didn't me, didn't me, didn't me see you crying?

AUDIENCE: (Groaning).

EISENBERG: David and Lisa looking at each other. They're talking it out. They're saying we both don't know, but that makes us good people still.

COULTON: You almost have it, Lisa. I can see you searching the data banks for it.

BENNETT: I'm just blank.

EISENBERG: OK.

COULTON: David's just looking at Lisa. There's no help there.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: All right. What is it everybody?

AUDIENCE: Me want you to want me.

COULTON: Me want you to want me. That's right.

EISENBERG: Cheap Trick. Yeah.

BENNETT: I actually saw them live, too.

EISENBERG: You saw them live?

AUDIENCE: (Groaning).

COULTON: Did they not play that song?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: (Singing) At first me was afraid, me was petrified. Kept thinking me could never live without you by my side. But then me spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, and me grew strong and me learned how to get along

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Lisa?

BENNETT: (Imitating Cookie Monster, singing) Me will survive.

COULTON: Yeah.

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EISENBERG: It does sound a caveman.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Somehow..

EISENBERG: (Imitating Cookie Monster) And me grew strong.

COULTON: (Imitating Cookie Monster) Me grew strong.

(Singing) Oh, me've been dreaming through my lonely past. Now me just made it. Me found you at last. So come on, now, let's try it. Me love you, can't deny cause it's true...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BENNETT: (Imitating Cookie Monster, singing) Me do, me do, me do, me do.

COULTON: Yeah.

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COULTON: OK. This is your last clue.

(Singing) Me used to think that me could not go on, and life was nothing but an awful song. But now me know the meaning of true love. Me leaning on the everlasting arms. If me can see it, then me can do. If me just believe it, there's nothing to it...

AUDIENCE: (Groaning, shouting).

COULTON: For God's sakes, somebody sing the chorus.

BENNETT: I'm sorry.

AUDIENCE: (Singing) Me believe me can fly.

EISENBERG: I believe I can fly. Me believe...

BENNETT: Oh, that one.

EISENBERG: Me believe me can fly.

BENNETT: Oh, yes. Yes, I've scrubbed it from my memory banks.

(LAUGHTER)

BENNETT: I got it stuck in my head really badly a lot.

SMEAD: It's all that Cheap Trick you've been listening to.

COULTON: (Laughter). Well, Greg, that's the end of our game. How did our contestants do?

SMEAD: Well, the audience got two.

(LAUGHTER)

GREG PLISKA, BYLINE: David, I'm sorry to say you didn't win. But for making it through the game, we do have a cookie for you. And we know you're vegan, so it's a meatless cookie.

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PLISKA: Lisa, you're our winner. That means you're going to be back with us for the Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

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EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll find out whether our VIP Lewis Black is really a drama queen. So stay tuned. This is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.