Edit Please!

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Please welcome our next two contestants, Rebecca Schwarz and Carleigh Queenth.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Rebecca is a senior at Barnard, classically trained ballerina and unicycler. Carleigh works at an auction house and has interacted with Napoleon's teapot, James Brown's king of soul cape and an original stormtrooper helmet - very cool. This game is called Edit Please. Can you tell me about a recent event in your life that, given the opportunity to edit it, you would do that and what you would do to it, Rebecca?

REBECCA SCHWARZ: I had spring break last week. And I spent it here, and it was great. But looking at Snapchat of people in tropical locations, I would edit it.

EISENBERG: It's terrible. I agree with you. I'm sorry Snapchat let you down. Carleigh, how about you?

CARLEIGH QUEENTH: I would un-punch the Australian girl that I thought was my friend underwater that I thought was trying to touch a sea turtle.

EISENBERG: That's a very typical story.

(LAUGHTER)

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: I can't tell if that's a metaphor or not.

EISENBERG: Right, if it's a song lyric or a poem, basically. So you thought an - you thought this woman who was about to touch a sea turtle was your friend?

QUEENTH: Yes.

EISENBERG: All right. First of all, I like that there's a sea turtle involved. Where were you?

QUEENTH: Australia.

EISENBERG: You were in Australia. So this is making more sense. And you punched her.

QUEENTH: We were snorkeling. And he said to stay 3 meters away from the sea turtles at all times. And she was reaching out to touch it. She was very blonde, had her hair in the same fashion, in a bun on her head. And I thought, no. They said 3 meters.

EISENBERG: That's right.

QUEENTH: And I swam over. And I sort of - it was an underwater punch, so it wasn't so hard. But I...

EISENBERG: Yeah. But where did you aim?

QUEENTH: I jabbed her in the arm.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah. I would've gone for the face, but anyways.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: No, you did the right thing. She was trying to disturb nature after they gave you rules. Yes, we like rules here, OK? We're on your side. OK, so in this game called Edit Please, we're going to give you an overly verbose version of a well-known title of a book. And you have to provide the simpler, edited-down, actual title of that book. Jonathan, how about you try one out?

COULTON: For example, if I say, a group of lions and a bias that prevents objective consideration of an issue, you would say "Pride And Prejudice."

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Of course.

COULTON: That makes sense, right?

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: So here is a hint. We are using all sorts of book titles, fiction, nonfiction, you name it. But they're all book titles.

EISENBERG: And this is a speed round.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Just kidding.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Feel free to talk it out, all right? A comforting broth containing vegetables, noodles, and simmered poultry meat for the immaterial aspect or essence of a person.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Rebecca.

SCHWARZ: "Chicken Soup For The Soul?"

EISENBERG: Yes, exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Did you read any of that series?

SCHWARZ: I read two, yeah.

EISENBERG: OK, which ones were they?

SCHWARZ: There was one for dog lovers. And then there was the general one that was, like, for teenagers that, like, your grandma gives you.

EISENBERG: Right.

SCHWARZ: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Two hundred pages of, like, chin-up.

SCHWARZ: Yeah, it's like, everything is going to be OK, like...

EISENBERG: Everything's going to be OK. Yeah, good.

SCHWARZ: Yeah.

COULTON: The young female with the indelible mark fixed upon her body by insertion of pigment under the skin that resembles an imaginary, fire-breathing lizard.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Carleigh.

QUEENTH: "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?"

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: The character weakness in our twinkling celestial bodies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Carleigh.

QUEENTH: "The Fault In Our Stars?"

EISENBERG: Yes, exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: The feel-good movie - did you see that? Hilarious, inspirational...

(LAUGHTER)

QUEENTH: No, but I know the screenwriter, and I think I insulted him by telling him I'm not - wasn't going to see it.

EISENBERG: Oh, you know the screenwriter?

QUEENTH: Yeah.

EISENBERG: And you said to his face - you do a lot of this - punching people you don't know, insulting screenwriters. I'm not going to see your movie. Anyways, good luck to you.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: A weight-loss eating plan named for the neighborhood located east of Miami city proper, between Biscayne Bay and the Atlantic Ocean.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Carleigh.

QUEENTH: "The South Beach Diet?"

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: The soft, diffused light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon from sunset to nightfall.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Rebecca.

SCHWARZ: "Twilight?"

EISENBERG: "Twilight," exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Feel pretty good about that one?

SCHWARZ: A little.

EISENBERG: A little, all right.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Which hue saturation and brightness of reflected light is your cloth canopy that fills with air and allows you to descend slowly when dropped from an aircraft?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Carleigh?

QUEENTH: "What Color Is Your Parachute?"

COULTON: Indeed, you got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: A crease or furrow in the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present and future.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

QUEENTH: "A Wrinkle In Time?"

EISENBERG: Carleigh, you're on fire. That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This is your last question. The structures that span and provide passage over a river, chasm or road that exist in an administrative division in Iowa.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rebecca.

SCHWARZ: "Bridge To Terabithia?"

COULTON: I don't think that is in Iowa.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Anyway, that is incorrect. Carleigh, do you have a guess?

QUEENTH: "Bridges of Madison County?"

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Geniuses up here - John Chaneski, how did our contestants do?

JOHN CHANESKI, BYLINE: Carleigh, well done. You are moving on to our final round at the end of the show. Nice job.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll talk to our VIP Ingrid Michaelson about what it's like to cry along to one of your own songs on "Grey's Anatomy." So stick around. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "EVERYBODY")

INGRID MICHAELSON: (Singing) Everybody, everybody wants to love. Everybody, everybody wants to be loved. Oh, oh, oh. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.