Gail Simmons: A Top Chef's Duel

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Please welcome back our very important puzzler, Gail Simmons.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Gail, we always ask our VIPs to provide the prize for the grand champion. What prize did you provide?

GAIL SIMMONS: Yes, so I hesitated 'cause I'm deciding whether I should tell the truth or not.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

SIMMONS: The truth is the other day I got this box delivered to my house and I was really excited and it was from Bravo. And I thought, oh how nice, they're giving me a gift. Sometimes they send me like a premier gift, you know, like a nice bottle of champagne sometimes it's flowers. And - for when our show premieres. And "Top Chef Duels" premiered the other night and I got this box at my house and I was really excited to open it up. And it was a "Top Chef Duels" pillow. And I thought, wow, times are tough.

(LAUGHTER)

SIMMONS: And the next day you guys called and said, can you provide the prize? Well, when I say called, no one actually calls anyone, you e-mailed. And I thought I have just the thing.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So we have a game for you. What kind of advice do you give your cheftestants when they're nervous or anything before a challenge? Do you talk to them?

SIMMONS: Oh, I do not talk to them.

EISENBERG: Never?

SIMMONS: No, never. They don't - they like us to instill fear until afterwards. No. I mean, truthfully, we're just never allowed to talk to them. They don't want us to get comfortable with them. They don't want them getting comfortable with us. So I don't give them advice. But we talk afterwards, and I often give them advice afterwards about, you know, what happens next, or - and there's always very universal things they tell us afterwards about the experience. You know, like wow, that was a lot harder than we thought it was going to be.

EISENBERG: Yeah, I think you'll find that about this game.

SIMMONS: Great. Feeling good.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's called "Pack Your Knives And Go."

SIMMONS: Creative.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I know. We have, like, 70 writers and that's what they came up with.

SIMMONS: Art wrote that.

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: Yes, I did. Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: We're talking about trendy foods that have overstayed their welcome. So it's time to move on to different things, right, that we can make fun of. But right now, we are going to make fun of these things. And what's at stake if you answer enough questions right, Travis Mitchell of Yuma, Arizona will win an ASK ME ANOTHER prize.

SIMMONS: Oh my God. Travis, this is for you.

EISENBERG: Think about this. Yeah, exactly.

SIMMONS: OK.

EISENBERG: And our house musician Jonathan Coulton and our puzzle guru Art Chung are going to help me out with this game. Here's your first question - according to its inventor, you should eat this cream filled pastry immediately and use a serrated knife so you don't crush its layers. What is this food fad introduced by the Dominique and Ansel Bakery in Manhattan?

SIMMONS: It is the cronut.

EISENBERG: The cronut. Yes.

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EISENBERG: I have never had a cronut.

SIMMONS: We could rectify that.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

SIMMONS: All you have to do is wake up at 4 a.m. and go line up in Soho like a lunatic.

EISENBERG: Yes.

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Blame chef Dan Barber of Blue Hill for this 2009 food trend. The recipe is very simple. Preheat the oven to 250, toss some leaves with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and bake. What is this public radio-friendly dish?

SIMMONS: I believe it's the kale chip.

COULTON: It certainly is.

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SIMMONS: I didn't actually know that was attributed to Dan Barber.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

SIMMONS: Yeah, cool. All right. Go Dan.

EISENBERG: Are you a kale chip fan done right?

SIMMONS: Yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't buy them 'cause they cost like $12 for a half an ounce, but I will make them on occasion.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

SIMMONS: They're enjoyable. I'm like embarrassed to tell you that.

EISENBERG: I like that. But I like the way you say - you're like, they're enjoyable, like you got to admit. You know, they are a good time.

Named after a town in Thailand, the most popular version of this condiment was created by David Tranwho decorated each bottle with his astrological sign.

SIMMONS: Sriracha.

EISENBERG: Yes, sriracha.

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COULTON: Restaurants drizzle this ingredient on french fries to make them more exotic and expensive, but it's so overused that Martha Stewart says it is one of the few ingredients that doesn't belong in anyone's kitchen. What is this culinary no-no?

SIMMONS: Truffle oil.

COULTON: That's right.

SIMMONS: Everyone is appalled right now.

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SIMMONS: Truffle oil is the thing that everyone loves to hate. But, you know, once in a while, don't deny it. Just joking - I don't know. It's very artificial and terrible tasting, but sometimes - I don't know.

COULTON: Well, sometimes they make it - it's not even truffle in the oil. It's fake.

SIMMONS: No, most of the time it's probably - it's not. It's like artificial. It's made in a lab somewhere. I mean, you can get really expensive ridiculously overpriced versions that are better quality for sure, but most of the time...

COULTON: For goodness sake, just buy a truffle. Am I right?

SIMMONS: Come on, people. It is almost truffle season. It is almost upon us.

EISENBERG: You like dessert, but you only want a small bite and you don't want sticky fingers, so clearly you want it on a stick. Thanks to the blogger Bakerella, you can have these tiny morsels of over-decorated frosted sweets to eat or post on Pinterest.

SIMMONS: I will say, and I don't want to offend anybody, they are one of my most hated things in the universe, and I feel like I'm an evil, terrible human being going straight to Hell because of it - it's a cake pop.

EISENBERG: Yes, cake pops.

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EISENBERG: Why the aggression Gail?

SIMMONS: It's true, I get aggressive. They never taste good. I just want a piece of cake. There was nothing wrong with a piece of cake before.

COULTON: It's not on a stick, though - that's one thing wrong with it.

SIMMONS: I mean, that's true. And I am - I'm really - I'm all for things on a stick. I put poutine on a stick recently, so you know how I feel about the stick and the eating.

EISENBERG: That's a good idea 'cause travel - so you can travel with it.

SIMMONS: Right, but I don't know, cake pops just never do it. Like, they're dry, they're not - they've got too much stuff on the outside. It's not an even ratio. I just - I've never had a great cake pop. I mean, show me a great cake pop. I'm willing to change my mind.

EISENBERG: Do you hear that listeners? Show Gail a great cake pop.

SIMMONS: Exactly.

COULTON: All right, this is your last - this is your last clue. This superfood from South America is high in protein, gluten-free and depending on who you ask, kosher for Passover. It's so amazing that the United Nations declared 2013 the international year of this ingredient. What is this grain that is technically a seed?

SIMMONS: It is quinoa.

COULTON: It sure is.

EISENBERG: And where are we at with quinoa? Are we keeping that around?

SIMMONS: I feel good about quinoa. I think it's healthy - if that's the worst thing, I think we're good with quinoa.

EISENBERG: Yeah, we're good? Puzzle guru, Art Chung, how did our VIP do?

CHUNG: She did amazing. Thanks to Gail, Travis Mitchell of Arizona wins a signed Rubik's Cube.

EISENBERG: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Piece of cake, right?

SIMMONS: Thank goodness.

EISENBERG: Thank you so much. Another hand for our VIP Gail Simmons.

SIMMONS: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: (Singing) I've been leaving on my things in the morning when the morning bird sings. There's still dinner on my dinner jacket 'til the dinner bell rings. I don't want a pizza, I don't want a piece of peanut brittle, I don't want a pear, I don't want a bagel, I don't want a bean, I wouldn't like a bag of beef for a beer. Cup of cheddar, corn cake, cream cauliflower, 'cause I'm waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing. Dinner bell, dinner bell, ring. I don't know whether I'd rather be having a bottle of vinegar, I don't know whether I'd rather be having an egg. I don't know whether I'd rather be having an order of bacon or whether I'd rather be having a basket of garlic bread. I don't know whether I'd rather be having some pie or saving my appetite. Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing. Dinner bell, dinner bell ding. I've been leaving on my things in the morning when the morning bird sings. There's still dinner on my dinner jacket 'til the day the dinner bell does the bell thing. Dinner bell, dinner bell do the bell thing. Dinner bell, dinner bell do the bell thing. Dinner bell, dinner bell ding, ding, ding. Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing. Dinner bell, dinner bell ding, ding, ding.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.