Hellas Ellas

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

You're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR and WNYC. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and with me is our house musician Jonathan Coulton. And here are our next contestants, Kevin Hood and Liz Starin.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Liz, you went to Brown for math and science.

LIZ STARIN: Yes.

EISENBERG: Smart. OK.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And then you took art classes at the same time at RISD?

STARIN: Also true.

EISENBERG: OK, so together what kind of career job does that make?

STARIN: Is this a job interview?

EISENBERG: Could be.

STARIN: I think I'm the best qualified person to make physics picture books.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah. All right, that's good. Kevin is a percussionist - plays drum in drum lines.

KEVIN HOOD: I play drum - just one.

EISENBERG: Just one?

HOOD: Just one.

EISENBERG: In a drum line?

HOOD: Yes.

EISENBERG: You just get to play the one drum?

HOOD: Just one.

EISENBERG: Dallas Cowboys?

HOOD: Dallas Cowboys.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

HOOD: America's team.

(JEERING)

HOOD: Uh oh. It's been a while since we've won guys, it's OK.

EISENBERG: You have an encyclopedic knowledge of music, especially Swedish hip-hop.

HOOD: Right.

EISENBERG: How much Swedish hip-hop is there?

HOOD: A surprising amount, actually.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

HOOD: Yeah. The other day I was walking around the Bronx with a shirt that says, they say hip-hop was born in the Bronx. But the Bronx was born in Sweden because as a matter of fact, the man who the Bronx is named after was a Swede.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah?

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: It says all that on a shirt?

(LAUGHTER)

HOOD: Yeah, well - the first part - it's - it wraps around.

EISENBERG: Small type.

COULTON: It goes around the back.

EISENBERG: Yeah, yeah. It's like four-point. Do you like Rihanna?

STARIN: I don't think I've ever listened to her music.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah? Interesting. Kevin, how about you?

HOOD: I mean, Barbados is cool.

EISENBERG: OK.

HOOD: That's where she's from.

EISENBERG: Barbados is where she's from.

(LAUGHTER)

HOOD: I know that much.

COULTON: That's three people we're not going to be able to book on this show.

HOOD: That was a positive thing.

EISENBERG: Jonathan, how do you feel about Rihanna?

COULTON: I love her to death.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

COULTON: I think she would make a great guest on the show.

EISENBERG: I think...

(LAUGHTER)

HOOD: I agree.

EISENBERG: I think we should just do a game that's all about her songs.

COULTON: Why don't we do a game that's just focused on Rihanna?

EISENBERG: Sure. Yeah.

(CHEERS)

COULTON: Let's call it Hella Ellas.

EISENBERG: Yes, yes.

COULTON: So we're taking you way, way back to 2007 when a humble but handy accessory got its very own anthem - I'm talking of course about the umbrella-ella-ella. So I will sing verses of Rihanna's "Umbrella" with the lyrics rewritten to be about words or names that end with an ella sound

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: She's going to love that. You have to identify what I'm talking about, all right? Here we go.

(Singing) This fancy shoe will only fit that lady who ran quickly from the ball and then she didn't call. Though her carriage soared, started changing to a gourd - this search will take some art, but that girl, she has my heart.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Liz.

STARIN: Cinderella.

COULTON: Cinderella, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Your version is super soulful, man.

COULTON: I can't do it any other way, Ophira. It's just who I am.

EISENBERG: It's amazing. It's fantastic.

COULTON: (Singing) When we're outside in the warmer weather, all the little bugs going to get together - flying all around trying to bite my friends, got to make a plan before the sun descends. I prefer a non-toxic solution. I don't like chemical pollution. Got to get a safe insect repellent, a candle that's made of...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Liz.

STARIN: Citronella.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

STARIN: I'm sorry I'm not singing the answers.

EISENBERG: Yeah, go for it - sing the answers.

STARIN: Oh, no. I said I don't know the song.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: There is no person that walks this earth that does not know this song. So when I say citronella, nothing - part of your head goes ella ella ella? No?

STARIN: Not really.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah. All right, I got it.

COULTON: Liz, you're going to be really embarrassed when we as a surprise bring Rihanna out here in a just a couple of minutes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah. As she sings the final bonus round.

COULTON: (Singing) You need vaccines, it doesn't matter how good your genes. I don't want to be where you are unless you get that MMR. Don't want no rashy lumps - stops the measles and the mumps. But what's that third one's name? In Germany it came to fame.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kevin.

HOOD: That's rubella.

COULTON: Rubella.

(APPLAUSE, CHEERS)

HOOD: A, A, A.

EISENBERG: A, A, A?

HOOD: Kind of fades out.

COULTON: (Singing) When we all sing we sing together, can't play an instrument - whatever. Maybe you can beat box like a prayer. We can sing "Blue Moon" or "I'll Be There." I'm the only alto in my section, trying to achieve that pitch perfection. When we're in tune we're sounding swella' (ph). I love it when we're singing...

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: Liz.

STARIN: So having gone to Brown, I feel really qualified to answer this question because we had 12 a capella groups.

COULTON: Yes, yes you did. A capella is correct. All right, here we go. Whoops. OK. I got to remember how this goes.

(Singing) You can drive or take a plane, but what's better? High-speed train. Come visit me. There's some distance in between our homes, so let Amtrak be your guide, a 100 mile-per-hour ride.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Liz?

STARIN: Acela.

COULTON: Acela is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That song's huge between Trenton and Newark.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Sing it all the time.

COULTON: Usually you have to pause the song in New Haven, though, 'cause they have to switch over.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: A little train joke. A little train joke.

EISENBERG: A little Amtrak humor.

COULTON: A little Amtrak humor.

(Singing) When you make crepes and you need a filling, this chocolate spread is always willing. When it's on my toast I love it so - hazelnut, skim milk and, yeah, cocoa. Peanut butter chumps, you're not so clever. I think that I could eat this spread forever. When I get a craving I can't quella (ph), I dip my finger in that...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kevin.

HOOD: Nutella.

COULTON: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: People knew it from the first word out of your mouth.

COULTON: It's a chocolate spread. There are not too many chocolate spreads out there.

Oh, I should say this is your last question.

(Singing) Didn't wash my hands after handling chicken 'cause my poor gut's taking a licking. I don't want to deal with this malaise - on the floor by the toilet for several days. Will I eat that again or never? I know it's not serious; however, I can't go bowling 'cause I don't feel wella (ph) 'cause I am infected with...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Liz.

STARIN: Salmonella.

COULTON: Salmonella is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: I think that might be my favorite line from all of these - on the floor by the toilet for several days.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Just very descriptive.

COULTON: It really paints a picture, you know?

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: They did hella good. Liz, you're moving onto our final round. Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.