I'm Quitting The Band

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

For this game, called I'm Quitting The Band, let's say hello to our next contestants, Mary Cass and Erin Ash Sullivan.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I don't know if either of you have ever quit a band, but if you have, I want to know about it. Erin, have you ever quit a band?

ERIN ASH SULLIVAN: I was asked to leave a band.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right. Well, at least you know.

SULLIVAN: Yes.

EISENBERG: What happened?

SULLIVAN: A million years ago, I was in a band here in New York, and we got to the point where we were playing relatively cool venues like CB's and Bitter End.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

SULLIVAN: But our credibility was besmirched because I was an elementary school teacher by day, and my...

(LAUGHTER)

SULLIVAN: ... My third-graders would periodically show up at the shows.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: That's how relaxed the ID policy was at CBGB's?

(LAUGHTER)

SULLIVAN: It was them, my mom and then some dudes with piercings. It was awesome.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Mary, have you been in a band?

MARY CASS: I actually just joined a band.

EISENBERG: Oh, really?

CASS: So I had to quit my last band, which was me playing alone in my room.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah? I like that you call that a band. And what - you play something?

CASS: Yes.

EISENBERG: What do you play?

CASS: I play bass.

EISENBERG: What's the name of your band?

CASS: We're called Tonya Harding.

(LAUGHTER)

CASS: And, at the moment, we have zero gigs (laughter).

EISENBERG: You have zero gigs, but they'll all go fine.

CASS: Right (laughter).

EISENBERG: That's what we know for sure. OK, well, as you know, it's hard to keep a good band together because you keep losing members all the time. Look what happened to Van Halen, right? Hagar was no Diamond Dave. But in this game, we're actually going to take the names of famous bands and then drop a letter to make a whole new band. Jonathan, can you give us an example, please?

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Sure. So, if I said, when you walk like an Egyptian, do it while making tight 90 degree turns, you would say the angles.

EISENBERG: So the first part of the clue will clue the band. So you'll hear half the clue will be, like, walk like an Egyptian, so you go with The Bangles. And then there'll be a clue to the second part, which will be 90 degree turns - angles.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Feel free to talk it out, and the winner will move on to your final round at the end of the show. A seven-nation army couldn't stop this duet from selling out to a Crest bleaching product.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Mary.

CASS: The white strips.

EISENBERG: The white strips, yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Even as a small child, Rosanna could bless the rains down in Africa.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Mary.

CASS: Tot?

EISENBERG: Tot, right. Toto turns to tot, exactly. Tater-tots are my favorite kind of tot, just for the record.

COULTON: Not children?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: If you had to choose, you would actually pick a tater-tot over a child? You monster.

EISENBERG: When I hear tot, I think tater-tots.

COULTON: Yeah, well, sure.

EISENBERG: I wasn't thinking children.

COULTON: I don't blame you. Kids are awful.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Your papa loves to keep on trucking to his jam rock, even though he's got a touch of grey in his hair. Your papa loves to keep on trucking to his jam rock, even though he's got a touch of grey in his hair. Hi, puzzle guru Greg Pliska.

GREG PLISKA: Hi. Well, the clues are trucking, jam rock and touch of grey. Those all relate to the band. And papa is a clue to the revised version of the band, wherein you take one letter from the original name of the band.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Mary.

CASS: Is it the grateful dad?

EISENBERG: Grateful dad.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That was the worst hint...

PLISKA: Happy to help.

EISENBERG: ...Of all time.

PLISKA: I know. I just read the question really slowly.

EISENBERG: Grateful dad.

PLISKA: That's all you do.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: The psycho killer grabs the craniums of his victims, then he destroys the rest of the evidence by burning down the house.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CASS: The taking heads.

EISENBERG: Mary, with taking heads, is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: In the land down under, the members of this '80s Australian band are now employed as chefs in a Chinese restaurant.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Erin.

SULLIVAN: Men at wok.

EISENBERG: Men at wok.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Yep, learned your favorite band.

COULTON: Erin, I saw the expression on your face. You saw that one coming from a mile away.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right. This is your last clue. Mr. Jones and me, we like to stare at the beautiful bovines. They're mooing at you. No, no, no, they're mooing at me.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Erin.

CASS: Is it the counting cows?

EISENBERG: Counting cows. Yes, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: A tough game. Greg Pliska, puzzle guru, hint-giver extraordinaire...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...How did our contestants do?

PLISKA: I have to say, without - unlike Tonya Harding, she didn't have to take a crowbar to her opponent. Mary is our winner. Thank you both, and we'll see you in the final round, Mary.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll take to your VIP about "Veep," the HBO series she stars in, so stick around. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.