IQ Test

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Here are our next two contestants, Carly Smith and Chad Lavimoniere.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Carly, you have come a far way to be with us - Tennessee.

CARLY SMITH: Nashville, Tennessee.

EISENBERG: Nashville, Tennessee, nice. What do you do in Nashville, Tennessee?

SMITH: I work at an organic food store.

EISENBERG: Of course you do.

SMITH: It's called The Turnip Truck Urban Fare.

EISENBERG: Oh my gosh, I love it. The Turnip Truck sounds incredible; all right, good. I know you live in New York, Chad, but where are you originally from?

CHAD LAVIMONIERE: I'm originally from that part of Connecticut nobody knows about...

EISENBERG: OK.

LAVIMONIERE: ...Up in the northeast corner of it.

EISENBERG: The northeast...

LAVIMONIERE: Yeah.

EISENBERG: ...Does it have a name?

LAVIMONIERE: It's literally called the Quiet Corner. It's best known for not being known.

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Never heard of it.

EISENBERG: Have either of you ever had an IQ test? Chad?

SMITH: When I was very.

EISENBERG: When you were very young.

SMITH: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Well, let's test your nerd IQ. Carly, favorite hobby.

SMITH: Probably reading...

EISENBERG: Reading?

SMITH: ...Which is the nerdiest answer.

EISENBERG: That's very high. Chad?

LAVIMONIERE: I'm an amateur zymurgist.

EISENBERG: Yeah, there you go.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Movie you like to quote, Chad.

LAVIMONIERE: "The Big Lebowski."

EISENBERG: "Big Lebowski," good choice, Carly.

SMITH: "Singin' In The Rain."

EISENBERG: Also a great choice.

LAVIMONIERE: That's just, like, your opinion, man.

(LAUGHTER)

SMITH: What do you think I am, dumb or something?

LAVIMONIERE: That's cool man, that's cool.

EISENBERG: I don't need to do anything, seriously. I am totally entertained by this. Thing you don't want us to know about you, Carly.

SMITH: I have never given "Dr. Who" or Joss Whedon a chance and I'm always afraid when I go to cons because everyone always asks about those two things.

EISENBERG: Yeah, sure, OK. Chad, how do you feel about that?

LAVIMONIERE: I mean, I listened to the first book of "Game Of Thrones" as an audiobook.

(LAUGHTER)

LAVIMONIERE: I wasn't sure if I would like it. It was...

EISENBERG: Wow.

COULTON: The shame.

EISENBERG: I know. Well, this game is called "IQ Test." But since I'm not an accredited psychologist yet, it's going to be a little bit different. I'm going to read you clues to a word, a name or a phrase containing the letters IQ, OK, and consecutively somewhere inside the word. Here we go - distinct and one-of-a-kind.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: ...Are synonyms of this word. Chad.

LAVIMONIERE: Unique.

EISENBERG: Exactly. Well done, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Although logically unique should have no synonyms, right?

LAVIMONIERE: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Anyways, Emily Post's area of expertise.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chad.

LAVIMONIERE: Etiquette.

EISENBERG: Etiquette is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: So you can feel bad about your fork choices since 1922. Twisting crunches that will help you build this muscle group that runs up and down the sides of your six-pack abs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chad.

LAVIMONIERE: Obliques?

EISENBERG: Obliques, yes. Obliques is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

LAVIMONIERE: That was obviously a guess.

EISENBERG: That was obviously a guess? You look very thin and svelte.

LAVIMONIERE: I'm just tall.

EISENBERG: You're just tall?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I'm not in shape, I'm just really tall.

EISENBERG: This banana company's logo is a woman wearing a hat full of fruit.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chad.

LAVIMONIERE: Chiquita.

EISENBERG: Chiquita is correct, yes. Don't know the origin, but I assume it's getting drunk at a salad bar. A tight bandage meant to stop the flow of blood.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Carly.

SMITH: Tourniquet.

EISENBERG: Tourniquet is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

SMITH: I know things.

EISENBERG: You know things. PBS's highest-rated show, hosted by Mark L Walberg.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Chad.

LAVIMONIERE: "Antiques Roadshow."

EISENBERG: Correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: They have that, we have "Hoarders." This is your last question - Betty Friedan's most famous book.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Carly.

SMITH: "The Feminine Mystique."

EISENBERG: "The Feminine Mystique," correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Have you read the sequel, "The Masculine Nightcrawler?"

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Not as good; I didn't like it as much.

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG: Chad scored a little higher on this IQ test and will be moving on to our final round.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Let's welcome back Lake Street Dive.

LAKE STREET DIVE: (Singing) Would it be true to say that I ordered you, or is it you that ordered me? I could say you are the only one I see, but I can't stop at two or three. And I am - am afraid to need you so. And I am too sober not to know that you may be my problem, not my love. Would I be lying if I said you were too sweet. Though I'm quite sure you've got a bite. I could say that you were just a special treat, though we both know that that's not right. And I am - am afraid to need you so. And I am - am too sober not to know that you maybe my problem, not my love 'cause you go down smooth. You go down smooth. You go down smooth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.