It's All Swedish To Me

Transcript

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: From NPR and WNYC, live from the Bell House in beautiful Brooklyn, New York, it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia - ASK ME ANOTHER. And here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.

(APPLAUSE)

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Thank you, Jonathan. Hello. Now, I am someone who will eat anything - I mean, anything. But my husband is a picky eater, which is hard on me because of course that means he will be the first to go down in the apocalypse because, you know, he doesn't like squishy textures like raw tomatoes. And you know what everything tastes like in the apocalypse? Raw tomatoes. I'm pretty sure that's how everything tastes. Only adventurous palates, I think, will make it in the end of days. You have to make that gentle transition from farm to table to sewer to mouth - delicious, which brings me to our VIP. This is a woman who will eat anything because it's her job. You know her from the Bravo food competition series "Top Chef," our VIP is Gail Simmons.

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EISENBERG: And say hello to a man who we are always craving, our one-man house band, Mr. Jonathan Coulton.

COULTON: Hello.

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EISENBERG: So our first game is called "It's All Swedish To Me." And our first two contestants are Sarah Schulman and Barbara Kay.

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EISENBERG: So here's my question to you - it may seem strange, but here you go - if you had a spirit Muppet, which is like a spirit animal but fuzzier, who would be your spirit Muppet? Sarah?

SARAH SCHULMAN: I would have to say Gonzo.

EISENBERG: Gonzo. Oh, yeah, Gonzo's fun, but why do you pick Gonzo?

SCHULMAN: Because he's a little strange, he's a little funny looking, he's a little awkward but he's got a really good heart.

EISENBERG: And that's who you relate to?

SCHULMAN: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Barbara, what Muppet character are you?

BARBARA KAY: I think it's a hard decision.

EISENBERG: OK.

KAY: I think I would have to go with Kermit.

EISENBERG: OK, Kermit. You went for the star.

KAY: I did, I did.

EISENBERG: And what - between that and who else?

KAY: Well, I like Beaker too.

EISENBERG: Beaker, see that hands down is the best character on the Muppets.

KAY: Beaker, yeah.

EISENBERG: Totally confused, frantic, going slowly insane and he can only say one word - awesome. So here's why I ask that - we all love "Top Chef," but we thought we'd start with a game honoring the best cook in television broadcast history, who is, of course, the Swedish Chef from the Muppets.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "THE MUPPET SHOW")

JIM HENSON: (As Swedish Chef) (Singing) (Unintelligible) Bork, bork, bork.

EISENBERG: So here's how it works - we we'll ask questions and you'll respond as the Swedish Chef would...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...Repeating everything three times in his accent, which I believe is a rural northern Swedish accent to be exact. And all of your answers are going to rhyme with bork, bork bork.

COULTON: Your dignity just left, fyi.

SCHULMAN: It was already gone. It's OK.

COULTON: Yeah. The winner will move on to our "Ask Me One More" final round at the end of the show. And we will disqualify you if it's the wrong Swedish accent, so please do the northern rural one.

EISENBERG: What utensil is also known as a food?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Sarah?

SCHULMAN: Spork, spork, spork.

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EISENBERG: I felt like the Swedish Chef was hiding in that, but I liked it. A spork.

COULTON: Hershey manufactures what brand name of peppermint patty?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Barbara.

KAY: York, York, York.

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COULTON: That's right. And that's a killer accent right there.

EISENBERG: That was pretty amazing. You've done some voice-over in the past?

KAY: A little bit, yeah.

COULTON: This physics term refers to a rotational force around an axis.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Barbara.

KAY: Torque, torque, torque.

COULTON: That's right, that's right.

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EISENBERG: If you want to see the Blarney Stone, what county in Ireland should you travel to?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Barbara.

KAY: Cork, Cork, Cork.

EISENBERG: Yes.

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COULTON: In "The Lord Of The Rings," what kind of evil creatures serve as foot soldiers for villains like Sauron?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Sarah.

SCHULMAN: Orc, orc, orc.

COULTON: That's right.

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EISENBERG: This is your last question. This subatomic particle comes in different varieties that physicists call flavors, including top, bottom, charm and strange.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Sarah.

SCHULMAN: Quark, quark, quark.

EISENBERG: Yes, indeed, quark, quark, quark.

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EISENBERG: Lets go to our puzzle guru Art Chung and find out how our contestants did.

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: We have a tie, so...

EISENBERG: All right.

CHUNG: Hands on your buzzers. In many cultures, these birds represent fertility and are even said to deliver babies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CHUNG: Barbara.

KAY: Stork, stork, stork.

CHUNG: That's right. Congratulations, you're moving on to our "Ask Me One More" final round at the end of the show.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.