Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, HOST:

Paula has four. Adam and Roxanne each has two.

SAGAL: Wow.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Don't say it like that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go second. That means Adam, you are up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. After 50 years, the U.S. resumed diplomatic relations with blank on Monday.

ADAM FELBER: Cuba.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Garrison Keillor announced he was retiring as the host of blank.

FELBER: That show with the Lake Wobegon - "Tales From The Thing" - that show he does - Garrison Keillor...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm just going to let you dangle for a while.

FELBER: Let me dangle for a while. I can't believe I'm blanking on this.

SAGAL: Five million people are screaming the name at their radios right now.

FELBER: "Prairie Home Companion."

SAGAL: Yes, "Prairie Home Companion."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new poll from Reuters, blank would easily defeat Oprah, George Clooney and Bill Clinton for the Democratic nomination.

FELBER: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Japanese newspaper company announced Thursday that they were acquiring blank for $1.3 billion.

FELBER: They were - the Financial Times.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Canadian man who had as good a chance of being struck by lightning as he did of winning the lottery ended up blanking.

FELBER: Being struck by lightning and winning the lottery.

SAGAL: That's exactly what he did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, professional surfer Mick Fanning fought a blank and won during a competition in South Africa.

FELBER: Shark.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The announcement of the MTV Music Video Award nominees on Monday led to a Twitter feud between Nicki Minaj and blank.

FELBER: Well, two - it's Taylor Swift and the other one - the Katy Perry.

SAGAL: We accept - Taylor Swift is what we were looking for...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: And she's apologized, so calm down.

FELBER: OK.

SAGAL: British Prime Minister David Cameron this week announced...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: That under no circumstances would he blank this summer.

FELBER: Punch a shark.

SAGAL: Close, point at fish.

FELBER: Oh.

SAGAL: He said he will no longer point at fish. Every year...

FELBER: Isn't punching a shark a form of pointing at fish?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Possibly, but...

FELBER: Bill Kurtis?

KURTIS: (Laughter) Actually, I - he made contact, and that's very good.

SAGAL: Well, let me - hold on, let me explain what we're talking about. And then, Bill, we can get your judgment.

KURTIS: OK.

SAGAL: So every year on summer holiday, British Prime Minister David Cameron and his family do a photo op for British journalists. And every year, journalists have chosen to photograph the prime minister at these classical British open-air markets pointing at fish - oh, look at that fish, oh, look at that fish. But this year, Cameron told reporters he is putting an end to the embarrassing tradition and instead wants to be photographed kissing the fish right in the lips. So Bill, do you think that that should count, that punching a shark is sufficient?

KURTIS: I do.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The title...

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The title is judge and scorekeeper. So then given his brilliant and apparently correct answer in the last one, how well did Adam do?

KURTIS: He set the bar high. He got eight right, 16 more points, a total of 18 and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

FELBER: That check is in the mail, Bill.

SAGAL: Roxanne, you're up next; fill in the blank. On Monday, the U.N. Security Council unanimously approved the blank deal.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: The Greek bailout?

SAGAL: No, the Iran nuclear deal.

ROBERTS: Oh, that one.

SAGAL: This week, lawmakers in blank passed reforms that were part of the EU's bailout package.

ROBERTS: Greek bailout.

SAGAL: There you go.

ROBERTS: OK.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Department of Labor announced that U.S. blank claims have dropped to a 40-year low.

ROBERTS: Unemployment.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A FIFA official charged with accepting bribes, including gold watches, diamond jewelry and luxury automobiles paid his $10 million bail this week with blank.

ROBERTS: Bitcoin.

SAGAL: No, gold watches, diamond jewelry and a bunch of automobiles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday, golfer Zach Johnson won the blank with a record-low...

ROBERTS: The British Open.

SAGAL: Score of - yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials at NASA reported this week that the Kepler telescope discovered a planet that resembles blank.

ROBERTS: Little tiny Earth cousin.

SAGAL: Yes, they're calling it Earth 2.0.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A New Jersey man was arrested for breaking into a home, hiding under a bed and blanking.

ROBERTS: Charging four cell phones.

SAGAL: That's exactly right, Roxanne.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Apparently, you do know how desperate people get when their phone's battery is low.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Jason Hubbard needed to charge his four phones fast, so he broke into a house and hid under a bed for three days. He was able to charge four phones before the owner figured out he was there and threatened to kick him out unless he ordered another coffee drink.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Roxy set a record, a record low.

ROBERTS: Oh thanks. Oh...

KURTIS: Five right (laughter) five right, 10 more points, 12 for the total. Adam is in the lead with 18.

SAGAL: OK, so Paula is starting from a better position. But still, she may need a lot to win. How many does she need?

KURTIS: Seven to tie, eight to win.

SAGAL: No problem, Paula, here we go.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They're on your side. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Ohio Governor John Kasich announced that he was blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Running for president.

SAGAL: Yes, GOP nomination.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a federal appeals court overturned five of the corruption convictions against former Illinois governor blank.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, oh, oh. I can't...

SAGAL: You know, this is a languorous round.

POUNDSTONE: I can't remember his name!

SAGAL: It's - well, say something.

POUNDSTONE: John Glenn.

SAGAL: No, it was Rod Blagojevich. According to an internal memo released this week, McDonald's will soon be offering blank nationwide.

POUNDSTONE: Well, I knew that they were going to offer breakfast.

SAGAL: Yeah, that's it, breakfast.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: A marijuana dispensary in California is suing the police, saying the cops raided the dispensary and blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Smoked their marijuana.

SAGAL: No, they ate all the pot brownies. Best known for the books "Ragtime" and "The March," author blank passed away this week at the age of 84.

POUNDSTONE: E. L. Doctorow.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman looking up her house on Google Street View was shocked when she found blank.

POUNDSTONE: Herself naked on the roof.

SAGAL: No, an image of her husband smoking in the driveway after he promised her he had quite.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hey, look, it's our house; it's our car. And it's the lying SOB I'm married to. Bill, did Paula do well enough to win?

POUNDSTONE: I think I did.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Well, you got all of three right.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

KURTIS: You got...

POUNDSTONE: Oh, you know what, I forgot my answer, punch a fish.

KURTIS: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: We would've given you that one.

FELBER: That would've changed the outcome.

KURTIS: A total of 10. Let's not take the glory away from Adam, who had 18 points and wins.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations.

POUNDSTONE: Adam, punch a fish, Felber. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.