Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Alonzo and Maz have three each, and Roxanne has two.

SAGAL: Rox, you're in third place, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Experts have confirmed that debris found in the Indian Ocean last week belongs to the missing blank flight.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Malaysian Air 370.

SAGAL: You even know the flight number, well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the DNC announced that its first blank would take place on October 13.

ROBERTS: Debate.

SAGAL: Yes, presidential debate.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Japanese leaders marked the 70th anniversary of the bombing of blank by calling for an end to nuclear weapons.

ROBERTS: Hiroshima.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thousands of residents of Northern California were evacuated from their homes this week as blanks continued to spread.

ROBERTS: Wildfires. Wild fires.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A fight broke out in a prison in Ohio when a drone blanked.

ROBERTS: Dropped heroine in the courtyard.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Also cigarettes. Ten years after her divorce from Brad Pitt, blank married her boyfriend Justin Theroux in a private ceremony on Wednesday.

ROBERTS: Jennifer Aniston.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a joint statement this week, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy announced they had blanked.

ROBERTS: Split up.

SAGAL: Isn't it sad?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a family in India discovered that the mysterious sound of a child laughing in their front yard was not an evil ghost, it was blank.

ROBERTS: Elmo.

SAGAL: No, it was a cell phone with a weird ringtone.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So the family goes out into the yard and they keep hearing this weird laughter, and they don't know where it's coming from. They thought they were being haunted by the ghost of a child or the ghost of a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll, they didn't know. They hired an astrologer to investigate and discovered that the laughter was coming from their gardener's cell phone which he had accidentally left in a nearby tree when he was last at their house. The family was relieved. We all know the only thing creepier than a laughing ghost, though, is a gardener with a giggling child for his ringtone.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got seven right, 14 more points, now has the lead with 16.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. All right, we have flipped a coin. Maz has elected to go next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Obama gave an impassioned speech where he defended the blank deal.

MAZ JOBRANI: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Jeb Bush had to backtrack on his statement that half a billion dollars was too much to spend on blank.

JOBRANI: Women's health.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Netflix announced it would offer both male and female employees one year of unlimited blank leave.

JOBRANI: Paternity - child.

SAGAL: Yeah, parental leave.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In response to the death of Cecil the lion, several major airlines announced this week they were no longer transporting blanks.

JOBRANI: Animal stuff. Animals. You can't bring dead animals.

SAGAL: Yeah, big-game trophies.

JOBRANI: Big-game trophies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After receiving a bad tip about the location of an Oklahoma fugitive, a group of bounty hunters accidentally surrounded blank.

JOBRANI: McDonald's.

SAGAL: No, the home of the Phoenix chief of police.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Health officials in New York announced new regulations for water-cooling towers to combat the outbreak of blank in the city.

JOBRANI: Legionnaires.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Triple Crown winner blank claimed his first win since his victory at the Belmont Stakes in June.

JOBRANI: Pharoah, American Pharoah.

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After being approached by police, a man in Germany has agreed to stop blanking in public.

JOBRANI: I don't know. A man in Germany was approached by police. He's agreed to stop urinating in public.

SAGAL: No, he's agreed to stop taking naps in his coffin.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police in Zirndorf found the guy in his coffin. They said this dog walker told them there was a strange black coffin lying in the middle of a public parking space, rather than in the clearly marked coffin parking zone. The man napping inside said he had specially modified the coffin for maximum comfort. He promised police that he would ever nap in public again, as long as they did not open the lid and expose him to the burning light of the sun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So, Bill, how did Max do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got six right, 12 more points, 15. He trails Roxanne by only one.

SAGAL: All right. How many then does Alonzo need to win?

KURTIS: Seven.

SAGAL: Seven, here we go, Alonzo. This is for the game.

ALONZO BODDEN: Pressure's on.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. This week, FBI agents began investigating the security of the private blank server that Hillary Clinton used during her time as Secretary of State.

BODDEN: Email.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama proposed new limits on blank emissions from power plants.

BODDEN: CO2

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, officials confirmed that, for the first time in its history, the U.S. territory blank had defaulted on its debts.

BODDEN: Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A federal appeals court ruled Wednesday that Texas's voter ID law violates the Voting Rights Act by discriminating against blank.

BODDEN: Minorities?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An antique store in California is asking the public's help in ID-ing a man who managed to shoplift two large bronze statues by blanking them.

BODDEN: Carrying them away?

SAGAL: Well, stuffing them down his pants.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, the Leicestershire police department revealed that, as a cost-cutting measure, they blanked.

BODDEN: The police department, as a cost-cutting measure...

SAGAL: Right.

BODDEN: Blanked?

SAGAL: Yes, they decided to blank.

BODDEN: Disband?

SAGAL: No, they decided to only investigate burglaries that occur at even-numbered houses.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Leicestershire, Leicestershire...

BODDEN: How did I not know that?

SAGAL: The Leicestershire police department in England had to cut over $40 million from its budget. Their solution, they only investigated burglaries if they occurred at even-numbered addresses. The program worked so well, they have expanded it. You can now be arrested in Leicestershire for breaking but not entering.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And assault is great, but don't you dare battery.

BODDEN: I was going to guess odd-numbered houses.

SAGAL: You see? Bill, did Alonzo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got four right, eight more points, 11 total. That means Roxanne is the winner this week.

SAGAL: Well done. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.