Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game - Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Roxanne has three. Paula has three. Faith has two.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Faith, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, President Obama directed his administration to accept 10,000 refugees displaced by the conflict in blank.

FAITH SALIE: Syria.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Senate Democrats successfully cleared the way for the blank deal.

SALIE: Iran.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new expose by ESPN, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell helped cover up blank's massive spying ring.

SALIE: Oh, the Patriots.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Jeb Bush and George Clooney were among the first guests this week on blank's new late show.

SALIE: Stephen Colbert.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The U.S. military admitted this week that it may have mishandled the organism that causes blank.

SALIE: Oh, Agent - Agent Orange?

SAGAL: No, the plague.

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: Over 30 students at the West Point Academy were injured this month when the - when the annual blank went awry.

SALIE: Pillow fight.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Every year, the Military Academy at West Point allows its freshmen students to unwind with a class-wide pillow fight. This year, however, things got a little out of hand, and the pillow fight ended when 30 students wound up requiring medical attention. It was less "Black Hawk Down" and more White Goose Down.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Faith got five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin, and Roxanne has elected to go last. So Paula, you are up next. At an event on Wednesday, blank unveiled the latest version of the iPhone.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, Apple.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Environmentalists were outraged when it was announced that Fox was buying blank magazine for $725 million.

POUNDSTONE: Outdoor Life.

SAGAL: No, National Geographic.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, silly me.

SAGAL: A study found that the drug Truvada is 100 percent effective in preventing blank transmission.

POUNDSTONE: AIDs.

SAGAL: Yes, HIV.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Over 100,000 people have evacuated their homes as heavy flooding continues to plague blank.

POUNDSTONE: Japan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report, it's more expensive to rent a studio apartment in San Francisco than it is to rent a blank.

POUNDSTONE: Bentley.

SAGAL: A seven-bedroom castle in France.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the city council of Sao Paulo voted to ban ridesharing app service blank.

POUNDSTONE: Uber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Criminals convicted of minor offenses in Iran are now being offered a choice between jail time and blanking.

POUNDSTONE: And - minor offenses - having their genitalia cut off.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Writing a book report, Paula.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new law...

POUNDSTONE: If you're not a good student, it's the same thing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new law lets judges in Iran come up with creative alternatives to prison - a month of hard labor, a two-week stay in Flemington, N.J., and one judge has started assigning book reports. First-time offenders and those convicted of minor crimes are given a list of books and are required to write reports on five of them. For very-severe offenders, one of them is "A Separate Peace."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got four right. That means she has eight more points, for a total of 11, but Faith still has the lead.

POUNDSTONE: Faith's in the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SALIE: Not for long.

SAGAL: How many, then, does Roxanne, who has two cats - how many does she need to beat Faith, who has none?

POUNDSTONE: Wait a minute, don't you get extra points for having cats?

(LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: That means you've got 15 extra...

POUNDSTONE: I won this thing when I sat down.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Roxanne only needs five more points...

ROBERTS: Oh, boy...

KURTIS: ...So we'll count 'em off.

ROBERTS: ...That depends...

SAGAL: Here we go. This is for the game, Roxanne. On Monday, the family of Freddie Gray was awarded a $6.4 million settlement with the city of blank.

ROBERTS: Baltimore.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Labor Day, President Obama signed an executive order providing federal contractors seven days of paid blank leave.

ROBERTS: Sick leave.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Queen Elizabeth II claimed the record as Britain's blank.

ROBERTS: Longest-reigning monarch.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Pope Francis announced new reforms to make it easier for married Catholics to obtain blanks.

ROBERTS: Annulments.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Vermont reported that a man they caught driving 112 miles per hour in a 45 mile-per-hour zone was on his way to blank.

ROBERTS: To pay speeding tickets.

SAGAL: Exactly, a traffic court.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Serena Williams defeated blank to advance to the semifinals of the U.S. Open.

ROBERTS: Venus Williams.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Kansas State University's marching band was forced to pay a $5,000 fine after making a formation that looked like a 50-yard-long blank.

ROBERTS: Penis.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kansas State's marching band says they were just trying to depict their rival's mascot doing battle with the Starship Enterprise.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why they wanted to do that, no one knows.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And they accidentally, as the Enterprise moved to attack, created what looked like a giant 50-yard phallus on the field.

POUNDSTONE: That's - what - who is in charge that a decision like that gets made? And people - you know, that - there's a lot of planning involved in a thing like that.

SAGAL: To put it mildly.

POUNDSTONE: You know, you have to go, like, OK, trumpets - no, over there, over there. And they have to sketch it up - that's absurd.

SAGAL: It's like no...

POUNDSTONE: How could that get through so many steps without somebody...

SAGAL: Yeah, I can imagine the bandleader going no, no, no, he's not Jewish. Move over.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Roxanne got seven right, 14 more points, a total of 17 and a big win for Roxanne.

POUNDSTONE: There it is.

SAGAL: Thank you, Roxanne. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We saw that one coming a mile away. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.