Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can, each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Alonzo and Rox have two apiece. Roy has three.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Well, we have flipped a coin and Roxanne has elected to go first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Congress passed a short-term spending bill successfully avoided a blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Government shutdown.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Afghan officials announced Thursday that they had retaken the city of Kunduz from the blank.

ROBERTS: The Taliban.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: At the U.N. this week, Palestinian leaders claimed that blank had broken the Oslo peace accords.

ROBERTS: I'm assuming Israel.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, meteorologists upgraded Hurricane blank to a Category 3.

ROBERTS: Joaquin. Is that how you pronounce it?

SAGAL: Close enough. It's Joaquin.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Trevor Noah made his debut as the new host of the blank.

ROBERTS: "The Daily Show."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, sky-watchers saw a so-called blood supermoon, wherein a regular supermoon and a blank converged.

ROBERTS: Lunar eclipse.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A passenger on a flight from Scotland to the Netherlands was arrested just because he got up to go to the bathroom and blanked.

ROBERTS: Scotland to the Netherlands. So he got up to go to the bathroom...

SAGAL: This is Lightning Fill In The Blank.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Oh, oh, wait, wait, I know this. He tried to open the pilot's door because he thought it was the bathroom door?

SAGAL: You're so close. I'll give it to you. He actually tried to open the door to the airplane to the outside.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: Oh, OK.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Well, I've been there.

SAGAL: Yeah, James Gray was halfway through his flight from Edinburgh to Amsterdam when he decided he needed to use the bathroom. Unfortunately, he tried to open the wrong door. We assume he thought it was natural that the door to the bathroom had explosive bolts 'cause he was feeling the same way, you know? But he - did he notice the little window showing the infinite sky outside? Just like the airlines, they make you pee off the side. Bill, how did Roxanne do?

KURTIS: She did very well. Seven right, she got 14 points, and 16 is the lead.

SAGAL: All right, always hard to beat.

KURTIS: Wow.

SAGAL: Alonzo, you are up next. Fill in the blank. This week, Cecile Richards, the president of blank, met with Congress to discuss the calls to defund her organization.

ALONZO BODDEN: Planned Parenthood.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, presidential hopeful blank released his tax plan.

BODDEN: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Right

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to her attorney, embattled county clerk Kim Davis met with blank during his trip to the U.S.

BODDEN: The pope.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: And the Vatican has confirmed. This week, England and Wales passed a law banning people from blanking in a car with children present.

BODDEN: Smoking.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A candidate for the New Jersey State Assembly had to drop out after reporters discovered a book he had written in which he disparaged blank.

BODDEN: Religion?

SAGAL: Yes, also gay people, women, blacks, Asians, senior citizens, feminists, male and female athletes, female police officers, women in the military, gun rights activists, John Tesh, vegans, Pope John Paul II and Britney Spears.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Saying that she needed time to heal, tennis star blank withdrew from her final two tournaments of the season.

BODDEN: Serena Williams.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, NSA leaker blank joined Twitter and almost instantly gained over a million followers.

BODDEN: Snowden?

SAGAL: Yes, Edward Snowden.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in England said he was discriminated against at an Indian restaurant after he ordered a mild curry and his receipt read blank.

BODDEN: That he was weak.

SAGAL: No, close. That he was white.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The receipt said...

BODDEN: OK, let's be clear that Peter said those two words.

SAGAL: Yes, I know. Actually the receipt said it. So he ordered - I like very, very mild. And he gets the food, and on the receipt it says, curry, very mild, white people.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: However, the restaurant says it's all a misunderstanding and all they were doing was preparing their signature dish, curry, very mild, white people, which has chickpeas, mild curry sauce and chunks of white people. Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Alonzo is hot. Seven right, 14 more points, 16 and tied with Roxanne.

SAGAL: All right, so we have a tie here.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Roy need to win?

KURTIS: He needs seven to win.

SAGAL: All right, Roy, here we go. This for the game. On Wednesday, it was revealed that Russian-backed hackers tried to access blank's email server on five separate occasions.

BLOUNT: Hillary Clinton?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Just days after John Boehner resigned as speaker of the House, a state GOP chairman called on blank to resign as Senate majority leader.

BLOUNT: Oh, Mitch McConnell.

SAGAL: Right

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Shell announced that they were halting their offshore drilling operations in blank.

BLOUNT: The Arctic.

SAGAL: Yes, off Alaska.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, presidential hopeful Jeb Bush said that the football team blank should not change their name.

BLOUNT: Redskins

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a refrigerated truck carrying cheese overturned on U.S. Highway 11 in Alabama, the Dekalb County Emergency Management Agency warned residents blank.

BLOUNT: Here come the mice.

SAGAL: No, they warned residents...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Do not eat the cheese at this time, they said. On Sunday, New England Patriots quarterback blank threw his 400th touchdown pass.

BLOUNT: Tom Brady.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After founding his company 50 years ago, fashion icon blank announced he was stepping down as CEO in November.

BLOUNT: Oh, Ralph. Ralph's good enough.

ROBERTS: (Whispering) Lauren, Lauren, Lauren.

BLOUNT: Lauren, Lauren, Ralph Lauren.

SAGAL: I would've accepted Lipshitz as well.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After residents panicked when sirens went off in the middle of the day, the police apologized in the town of North Swindon and explained that the officers were blanking.

BLOUNT: Just having a good time.

SAGAL: Almost. What they were doing was they were settling an argument about what sound their siren makes. Does it go woo-woo (ph) or nee-nah, nee-nah (ph)? So North Swindon PD said that the blaring of sirens was just due to two officers debating with a 4-year-old about whether the sirens went woo-woo or nee-nah, nee-nah. And they were doing a presentation at a kindergarten. This 4-year-old said, well, what sound do your sirens make? And they, instead of doing the expected thing, which was to arrest the 4-year-old, they decided to turn the sirens on and off to find out. And, by the way, they all decided it was woo-woo. Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got six right for a total of 15, one short to tie with Roxanne and Alonzo, who are our champions in Michigan.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.