Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Tom Bodett and Charlie Pierce are tied for first, Peter, with three points each. Amy Dickinson has two.

SAGAL: All right. So Amy...

AMY DICKINSON: Yes.

SAGAL: ...you're behind the other two, we'll put it that way, so you'll go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Obama paid tribute to blank in a ceremony honoring the 50th anniversary of his "I Have A Dream" speech.

DICKINSON: Martin Luther King.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The trial of the former Communist Party official Bo Xilai taking place this week was described as blank's trial of the century.

DICKINSON: China?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A farmer in Windsor, Vermont said, quote, "Now, I'm a believer" after he woke up in the middle of the night to discover blank.

DICKINSON: Justin Bieber in his house.

SAGAL: No. He said...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...he woke up and said, I'm a believer after a pile of goat manure had spontaneously combusted and caught fire.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: That's what it takes?

SAGAL: That's what it takes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Zookeepers at the National Zoo in Washington announced this week that Mei Xiang, their Giant blank had given birth to a healthy baby.

DICKINSON: Panda.

SAGAL: Panda.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Twerk and selfie were two of the words added this week to the online version of the blank.

DICKINSON: OED?

SAGAL: Oxford English Dictionary, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida man arrested for crack possession didn't help his defense...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...when he told the cop weighing the evidence blank.

DICKINSON: Stop bogarding my crack.

SAGAL: No. He said, hey you're doing it wrong. I know because I do that for a living.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Whoa.

SAGAL: When the cop who arrested Forrest Lee Adams started weighing the crack like a complete amateur, the suspect had to speak up. According to the policeman, quote, "Ames yelled from the back of my patrol car that I was doing it wrong. He told me that I needed to press the scale button to grams."

(LAUGHTER)

CHARLIE PIERCE: Crack dealers, the only ones still not using the metric system.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Amy had four correct answers for eight more points. She now has 10 points and Amy has the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin. Charlie has elected to go last, so Tom you're up next. Fill in the blank. Thousands of firefighters in California worked this week to protect blank National Park from wildfires there.

TOM BODETT: Yosemite.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, low paid workers at blank restaurants in 60 cities across the country protested demanding higher pay.

BODETT: Fast food.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a court in Pakistan overturned the 33-year jail sentence handed down to the doctor who helped the CIA locate blank.

BODETT: Bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: 4,500 former players reached a 765 million dollar settlement with the blank Thursday over concussion-related lawsuits.

BODETT: The NFL.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Seattle Police were forced to intervene when a man was assaulted with a blank.

BODETT: A fish.

SAGAL: No. A 16-ounce tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the city of Gary, Indiana began a three day event to celebrate what would have been the 55th birthday of singer blank.

BODETT: Michael Jackson.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In one of the worst kept secrets of the year, the band blank reunited at this year's MTV Video Music Awards.

BODETT: Holy smokes.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: The Supremes.

SAGAL: It would be N'Sync. A Connecticut man hunting a raccoon with his shotgun...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...was injured when he blanked.

BODETT: When he was injured when he tripped and fell and shot himself in the foot.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: That's not very...

SAGAL: Well, you didn't see the clear - the key thing. What happened was he sneezed so hard he fell out of his chair and shot himself in the shin.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Oh, well...

SAGAL: The raccoon had been scratching on the man's back door for days. That was just part of its plan. The man's plan to take out the pest was ruined when he sneezed, fell off his chair, shot himself, which is why raccoons always say, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun or hay fever.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KASELL: Five correct answers, 10 more points. He now has 13 points and Tom has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Very well done. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many then does Charlie need to win?

KASELL: Five to tie, six to win outright.

SAGAL: All right. Charlie, fill in the blank. A report from the German Magazine Der Spiegal says that the blank spied on the U.N.

PIERCE: Oh, the NSA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Health and Human Services officials delayed the deadline for implementing new blank policies.

PIERCE: Obamacare policies, national health care.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the IRS announced that married same sex-couples can file joint blank.

PIERCE: Tax returns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: President Obama announced two new blank control measures Thursday that will target military surplus.

PIERCE: Gun control.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ABC News reported this week that Neil Armstrong, who died last year, blanked.

PIERCE: Died.

SAGAL: Yes, this week again.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Such a hero. The Justice Department announced Thursday that it will not challenge state blank laws.

PIERCE: Marijuana laws.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in London was shocked when he cuddled up to his girlfriend in the middle of the night and realized she was actually blank.

PIERCE: A raccoon with a shotgun.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Close though.

DICKINSON: Close.

SAGAL: A fox...

PIERCE: Oh darn.

SAGAL: ...that had come in through the cat flap.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: A fox disguised as a raccoon with a shotgun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: When one Leon Smith cuddled up with his girlfriend, it didn't take him long to realize she was much smaller and hairier than he remembered.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But she was foxy.

PIERCE: But she was foxy, yeah.

DICKINSON: She was still a fox.

SAGAL: Carl, did Charlie do well enough to win?

KASELL: He did. He had six correct answers for 12 more points. So with 15 points, Charlie Pierce is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Charlie, well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW CREDITS) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.