Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Cindy Shupack and Charlie Pierce each has three points. Paula Poundstone has two.

SAGAL: All right, Paula. You're in third place, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. An international team of investigators worked this week to determine what caused a blank Airlines jet to disappear midflight.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Malaysia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday morning, Senator Dianne Feinstein accused the blank of searching Intelligence Committee computers.

POUNDSTONE: The NSA?

SAGAL: No, the CIA.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: After five rockets hit residential neighborhoods Wednesday evening, Israel's air force attacked 29 sites in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Gaza.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After issuing a recall of 1.6 million vehicles, automaker blank admitted it knew about the ignition switch problem in 2001.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I have no idea. General Motors.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police in Grand Rapids, Michigan still haven't caught two thieves who stole a couch last week, even though they blanked a week later.

POUNDSTONE: They stole a couch last week...

SAGAL: Yes, they did.

POUNDSTONE: ...even though they came back and stole a loveseat a week later.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. They came back for the couch's cushions.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: With a record breaking time, on Tuesday Dallas Seavey and his dogs won this year's blank.

POUNDSTONE: Iditarod.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British newspaper was forced to issue a correction...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...after it printed dire warnings about the imminent blank.

POUNDSTONE: Armageddon.

SAGAL: No. About the imminent human goat war.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yes, yes.

SAGAL: Originally, this quote in the paper was attributed to a respected scientist quote, "I have become increasingly convinced that we are heading for a disastrous confrontation and that the 21st century will be remembered for a terrible war between mankind and goats."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But in fact that was a comment that came from a reader, one whom, years from now, we will remember as the only one who knew the truth.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KASELL: Four correct answers, eight more points, ten points now for Paula and she has the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

POUNDSTONE: This is a very bad round.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin and Cindy has elected to go second. Here you go, fill in the blank. A gas leak is thought to be what caused a building to explode in blank on Wednesday.

CINDY SHUPACK: In Manhattan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: German Chancellor Angela Merkel issued a warning to Russia this week over its actions in blank.

SHUPACK: Crimea.

SAGAL: Yes, good enough, Crimea, Ukraine.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Wednesday marked the 25th anniversary of the invention of the blank.

SHUPACK: The internet.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg called President Obama on Wednesday to express his frustration with the blank's spying tactics.

SHUPACK: The CIA's?

SAGAL: No, the NSA.

(LAUGHTER)

SHUPACK: Oh, Paula. I was cheating on Paula's paper.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Francisco Rodriguez will not make his Cactus League debut this week because he blanked.

SHUPACK: Forgot.

SAGAL: He stepped on a cactus.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Champion Arthur Chu's winning streak on the game show blank ended this week when he risked it all on an incorrect answer.

SHUPACK: Jeopardy?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A terrified family in Portland, Oregon...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...called 911 after they were held hostage in a bedroom with their baby and dog, by blank.

(LAUGHTER)

SHUPACK: A goat?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They were held hostage...

POUNDSTONE: ...by a 22-pound cat.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not only that. It was their own 22-pound cat. Lux the cat had always had a bad attitude, but the family had never feared for their lives until Lux quote "went over the edge" last Sunday, charging at them repeatedly with a murderous expression on her adorable cat face.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What's so awesome is in the released transcript it's like, caller, he's out the door. Dispatcher, are you hurt? Cat, r-r-r-r.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Cindy...

CHARLIE PIERCE: It's just like the babysitter with the (unintelligible). He's in the house.

SAGAL: I know, he's in the house.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Cindy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Cindy had four correct answers for eight more points. She now has 11 points and Cindy has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, how many does Charlie need to win?

KASELL: Four to tie, five to win outright.

SAGAL: All right, Charlie. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. North Korean media reported this week that with 100% voter turnout, every single person in North Korea voted to keep blank as president.

PIERCE: Kim Jung Un.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Austin Texas arrested a drunk driver who drove into a crowd of people at the blank festival.

PIERCE: South by Southwest.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week President Obama announced his plan to expand blank pay for millions of workers.

PIERCE: Overtime pay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Jan Brewer announced that she will not seek a third term as Governor of blank.

PIERCE: Arizona.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After losing a poker bet, a New Zealand man was forced to legally change his name to blank.

PIERCE: Sidney Australia.

SAGAL: No. His name is now legally Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: I would've gotten everything but Frostnova.

SAGAL: I know, that's the tricky one.

POUNDSTONE: I'm thinking about an 18th cat.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And then of course his last name Cohen.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A video posted online this week showed pop singer blank angrily storming out of a deposition.

PIERCE: Justin Bieber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Amazon announced it was increasing the price of a blank membership to 99 dollars.

PIERCE: Premium.

SAGAL: Right, or prime. Good enough.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man who went after the twenty dollar bill...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...he accidentally dropped into a storm drain probably had second thoughts after he blanked.

PIERCE: Disappeared and was never seen again.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Disappeared and was found two days later.

PIERCE: Oh, come on.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, how would we know about his second thought...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...or why he had gone down there...

PIERCE: Second thoughts are assumed.

SAGAL: No. He thought he'd climb into the drain, grab the twenty and head home. But he took a wrong turn and spent two days lost in the underground maze of drains and tunnels...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...without ever finding his twenty dollars. Twenty dollars seems like not enough incentive, to us, to spend two days underground. So before you go out walking, ask yourself...what is my chasing it down the sewer threshold?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wow, huh, yeah. No, I would've gone for 20.

(LAUGHTER)

SHUPACK: And he had the 20 when he came back?

SAGAL: No, he never found it.

POUNDSTONE: Never found it.

SHUPACK: Never...

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, that's not right.

SAGAL: Isn't that sad?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I mean, you got to come up with something.

SAGAL: Carl, did Charlie do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed four to tie but Charlie had six correct answers. So with 15 points Charlie Pierce is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: There it is.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists how the world wide web will celebrate its 25th birthday, but first let me tell you... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.