Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Carl Kasell, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Paula Poundstone has the lead with four points. Mo Rocco has three. Roxanne Roberts has two.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Roxanne, that's unusual for you to be in third place. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Obama spoke at the dedication ceremony for the National blank Memorial Museum at Ground Zero.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: The 9/11 Memorial.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the FCC voted to formally propose new net neutrality rules that would allow companies to provide a fast lane on the blank.

ROBERTS: On the Internet.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Football player Michael Sam made news when he celebrated being drafted in the NFL by blanking.

ROBERTS: By kissing his boyfriend.

SAGAL: Indeed, he did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Vladimir Putin said that in June, Russia will stop delivering gas to blank unless it pays cash in advance.

ROBERTS: I think the Ukraine.

SAGAL: Indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Florida police are looking for the owner of a blank they found in the woods.

ROBERTS: A pink flamingo.

SAGAL: No, they're looking for the owner of a coffin containing a crossbow, nunchucks, mace, double-sided ax, punching bag, assorted baseball bat with numerous screws attached, a sickle, and 38 other medieval weapons.

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh. I don't remember being in Florida.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Two boys were injured when the blank they were playing in unexpectedly went airborne.

ROBERTS: Those inflatable bouncy houses.

SAGAL: Bouncy houses. Yeah, bouncy castle.

POUNDSTONE: Crazy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an unexpected change, Jill Abramson was ousted Wednesday from her position as the executive editor of the blank.

ROBERTS: New York Times.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After video of the incident...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Surfaced on YouTube, a man is being criticized for answering his cellphone during blank.

ROBERTS: During the birth of his child.

SAGAL: No, he answered his cellphone during his own exorcism.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The pastor was in the process of casting out the demon when the possessed man's cellphone started to ring.

MO ROCCA: It was the devil calling.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Listen, I can make you a great offer. Let's stay together.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roxanne do?

KASELL: Roxanne had six correct answers, for 12 more points. She now has 14 points. And Rox has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Mo Rocca, you're up next. Fill in the black. Karl Rove was criticized this week for suggesting Hillary Clinton might have blank.

ROCCA: Oh, uh, dementia.

SAGAL: Yeah, or brain damage.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A protest about worker safety was held after this week's mining disaster in blank.

ROCCA: Turkey.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: California Gov. Jerry Brown declared a state of emergency as blanks threatened the San Diego area.

ROCCA: Wildfires.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With this week's recall of 2.5 million cars and trucks, automaker blank has now recalled over 11 million vehicles in 2014.

ROCCA: General Motors.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In what could be a case of long-awaited revenge, Ozzy Osborne was denied permission to renovate his barn because it is blank.

ROCCA: A historic landmark.

SAGAL: No, because it is home to thousands of bats.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Oh, oh.

SAGAL: See? After he was reported missing earlier in the week, radio personality blank was found safe in Washington state.

ROCCA: Casey Kasem.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To protest low wages, blank workers around the country went on strike Thursday.

ROCCA: Docents.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I love docents.

SAGAL: No, it's fast food workers.

ROCCA: Oh, fast food.

SAGAL: A British man was refused his plea for blank rather than having to pay a moving violation fine.

ROCCA: He was denied permission for having a car.

SAGAL: No. Instead of paying his moving violation, he demanded trial by combat.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SAGAL: Leon Humphreys was faced with a $42 fine thereabouts, and asked if instead of paying the fine, he could just fight the DMV clerk to the death...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...With either, quote, "samurai swords, gurkha knives or heavy hammers," unquote. His request was denied with the DMV in Britain explaining, oh, sorry, the trial by combat line is over there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KASELL: Mo had six correct answers, for 12 more points. He now has 14 points and the lead.

SAGAL: So here we go. How many does Paula need to win?

KASELL: Five to tie, six to win outright.

SAGAL: All right, Paula, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. After being closed to repair earthquake damage in 2011, this week the blank officially reopened.

POUNDSTONE: The Washington Monument.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an interview with Anderson Cooper, Los Angeles Clippers owner blank said he was not a racist.

POUNDSTONE: Sterling.

SAGAL: Right, Donald Sterling.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a tight primary race, the N.C. congressional candidate running against American Idol winner blank died unexpectedly.

POUNDSTONE: Clay Aiken.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Idaho joined Arkansas to become the latest states to strike down bans prohibiting blank.

POUNDSTONE: Same-sex marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In order to cut down on waste, a buffet restaurant in Switzerland is charging customers for blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Not finishing their food.

SAGAL: Not finishing their food. Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Friday, newswoman and co-host of "The View" blank retired from on-air work.

POUNDSTONE: Barbara Walters.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Surveillance footage showed a boy being rescued from a dog attack by a blank.

POUNDSTONE: Cat.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The travel booking site Skyscanner recently released their list of unusual traveler complaints, including one from a man who demanded a discount from a hotel because blank.

POUNDSTONE: It was in Manhattan, Kan.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, this man demanded a discount from the hotel because his girlfriend was snoring. Other all-too-real complaints tracked by this company - a guest who complained his dog did not enjoy the vacation...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...A guest who was angry that his waiter was too handsome, and a man who complained the ocean was too blue.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, I think Paula did well. Did she do well enough to win?

KASELL: She did very well, Peter. She had six correct answers, for 12 more points; and that means she has 16 points. And Paula Poundstone is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Paula. Ladies and gentlemen, it was a huge thrill when I first heard Carl Kasell say my name. Growing up listening to him do the news, I always thought that to hear that voice say my name, I would have to do something really astonishingly stupid.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Turns out all I had to do was to have the amazing good fortune to be his partner. I just want to say thank you to my friend, who has been - and always will be - the heart, soul and of course, the voice of this radio show.

(CHEERS, APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.