Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Well, Paula has four. Brian and Tom have two.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness, Paula.

(APPLAUSE)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Woah.

BRIAN BABYLON: Man.

POUNDSTONE: It's the altitude.

SAGAL: Well, we flipped a coin, and Tom was elected to go first. So here we go. The clock will start when I begin you first question. Fill in the blank. This week, President Obama announced a $3.7 billion plan to address blank.

TOM BODETT: The immigration crisis.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Israel increased the frequency of their airstrikes against suspected Hamas militants in blank.

BODETT: Gaza.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Fans rejoice this week when J.K. Rowling post a short story about a 34-year-old blank.

BODETT: Harry Potter.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, 63 women kidnapped by Boko Haram in blank reportedly escaped.

BODETT: In Nigeria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Georgia man who was charged with drunk driving says he couldn't have done it because blank.

BODETT: I always get the drunk-driving guy.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: He couldn't have done it because he was home drinking.

SAGAL: His dog was driving the car at the time, he says.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Petra Kvitova and Novak Djokovic both held off their opponents to claim blank title wins.

BODETT: The big tennis thing.

SAGAL: Which would be called?

BODETT: It's the big tennis thing.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: The - you know, the huge - it's an open.

SAGAL: Its Wimbledon, Tom.

BODETT: Yeah, that one.

SAGAL: After he had a great fall, all the employees at Oregon's Enchanted Forest were unable to put blank back together again.

BODETT: Humpty Dumpty?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Humpty Dumpty sculpture's one of the Enchanted Forest's most popular attractions, and guests frequently climb up on his wall to sit and take pictures with him. Unfortunately, two men who attempted the feat accidentally pulled Humpty from his perch causing him to shatter on the ground below.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The staff on hand reported that Humpty's last words were, wow, nobody saw this coming.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got five right for 10 more points. Tom now has 12 points and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: There you are.

SAGAL: All right, Brian. You're up next, Brian. Fill in the blank.

BABYLON: OK.

SAGAL: We turn to you. Amid rising tensions, Secretary of State John Kerry made an unannounced visit to blank this week.

BABYLON: Iraq.

SAGAL: No, Afghanistan. On Wednesday, Edward Snowden officially applied to extend his asylum in blank.

BABYLON: Russia.

SAGAL: The Federal Trade...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes. The Federal Trade Commission announced plans to sue online retailer blank over in-app purchases.

BABYLON: Amazon.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the International Atomic Energy Agency confirmed that insurgents in blank have stolen nuclear material.

BABYLON: Iraq.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The co-author of a book on how not to get gored by a bull while at the running of the bulls was blanked.

BABYLON: Was gored by a bull.

SAGAL: At the running of the bulls.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BABYLON: Yeah.

SAGAL: Hospitals in Washington, D.C., are reporting a baby boom nine months after the blank.

BABYLON: After the full eclipse?

SAGAL: No, after the government shutdown.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week marks the 25th anniversary the sitcom blank.

BABYLON: "Simpsons."

SAGAL: No, "Seinfeld." Now the world's second-most famous Jerry.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A Yankees fan is suing ESPN for $10 million for defamation after they broadcast him live on national TV blanking.

BABYLON: Picking his nose.

SAGAL: No, sleeping at the baseball game.

BABYLON: How dare they do that?

SAGAL: If a honey shot is when cameramen show pretty women at sporting events, the Andrew Rector shot is when you show a Yankee fan asleep and drooling.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Rector's lawsuit claims he suffered substantial injury to his character and reputation and that no one - no one can be expected to stay awake when the Red Sox were playing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Brian do in our quiz?

KURTIS: Brian got four right for eight more points, up to 10. But Tom still has the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. All right, Tom.

BODETT: Uh-oh.

SAGAL: Let's see if you can hold onto it as we turn to Paula.

BODETT: Uh-oh. Bring it, Poundstone.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, Bill - Bill, how much does Paula need to win?

KURTIS: She has four to tie, but five to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Paula. Are we feeling up for it?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Fill in the blank, Paual, for the game. "Game Of Thrones" and "Fargo" led the nominations for the 65th annual blank awards.

POUNDSTONE: Emmys.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After taking over several cities in Iraq, the leader of the Sunni extremist group blank made his first televised appearance on Sunday.

POUNDSTONE: ISIS.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A newspaper in France reported that the country thwarted planned terrorist attacks on the Louvre and the blank.

POUNDSTONE: And the Eiffel Tower.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two reporters in England have been hospitalized after researching a story about blank.

POUNDSTONE: I don't know.

SAGAL: A very spicy cheeseburger.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Robert Redford has signed on to play former "CBS Evening News" anchor blank in a movie about the scandal that ended his career.

POUNDSTONE: Dan Rather.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For egging a neighbor's house back in January, this week a California judge sentenced colicky pop-star blank to an anger management course.

POUNDSTONE: The Biebster.

SAGAL: The Biebster. Justin Bieber.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A group of students at a school in England were reprimanded after the faculty caught them blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Shoving lemurs down their pants.

(LAUGTHER)

SAGAL: No, although a very good guess given the show. No, they caught them attempting to tunnel out of the school using cutlery from the cafeteria.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This Nottingham school bans its student from leaving the campus at lunchtime, so a handful of intrepid, hungry teens began stealing spoons from the cafeteria and started digging a tunnel under the wire, just like "The Great Escape," except instead of trying to get back to Allied line in World War II, they just wanted to get to Taco Bell.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Paula do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Paula got five right for 10 more points.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: So.

SAGAL: So.

KURTIS: Paula is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done.

POUNDSTONE: I'm tearing up. That was great.

SAGAL: It was great.

BODETT: Beautiful. It was beautiful. (Imitates crying) It was, it really was.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists who will be the next public figure to be embarrassed by their private letters. But first let me tell you the support for NPR comes from NPR stations and Carmax, offering more than 35,000 used cars and trucks online and in stores from coast to coast. Learn more at carmax.com. The John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, helping NPR advance journalistic excellence in the digital age. And Progressive, offering policyholders the option to bundle home and auto insurance coverage. Learn more at progressive.com or 1(800)-PROGRESSIVE. WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircuts Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord and Duke of Ardsley. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.