Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game "Lighting Fill In The Blank." Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Tom and Roxanne each have three. Faith has two.

SAGAL: OK, so that means Faith, unusually you're in third place. That means you go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

On Thursday, the Chinese-controlled government agreed to meet with protesters in blank.

FAITH SALIE: Hong Kong.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A panel of bishops at the Vatican announced the Church might be softening its opposition to blank.

SALIE: Homosexuality.

SAGAL: Yeah...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...and gay marriage. During a Facebook Q&A, Bono apologized to U2 fans for blanking.

SALIE: For forcing their new music to be download. It was automatic on iPhones.

SAGAL: That's right.

SALIE: Yeah, on iPhones.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following in the footsteps of Target and Home Depot, Kmart became the latest company to be compromised by blank.

SALIE: Credit card breach.

SAGAL: Yeah. Hackers.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Sweden was arrested for driving under the influence after he blanked during a traffic stop.

SALIE: No idea.

SAGAL: After he ate a pile of money that was sitting on his passenger seat.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At an event on Thursday, Apple unveiled the newest version of the blank.

SALIE: iPad.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the first time in 29 years, the Kansas City Royals won a spot at the blank.

SALIE: World Series.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After months of heated debate on whether or not to ban smoking in public parks, this counc - the city council of Turlock, California, learned blank.

SALIE: Learned that their parks are not inflammable.

SAGAL: No. They learned that smoking has already been banned in their parks for over a decade.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The town of Turlock, California, proposed banning smoking. They pitted health advocates and the city council against those who believe all citizens have the right to smell like old motels.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No offense, Tom.

TOM BODETT: Hey. Hey.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They debated for months, months. And this week, they realized the ban has been in place for 10 years, and no one knew.

SAGAL: Cops are now busily creating a time machine so they can enforce the law they forgot about while the city council takes up the issue of whether to give women the right to vote.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got six right for 12 more points. She now has 14 and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Faith.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go last. So that means Tom, you're up next. Fill in the blank.

This week, analysts reported that the annual U.S. military spending would increase by $40 billion due to blank.

BODETT: Due to the ISIS crisis.

SAGAL: Yes. The ISIS crisis.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Vladimir Putin ordered the return of 18,000 troops to the border with blank.

BODETT: Ukraine.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After its earnings report Wednesday, the video streaming service blank lost a quarter of its stock market value.

BODETT: Netflix.

SAGAL: A Chicago man running from the police on Sunday was able to briefly escape by blanking.

BODETT: By - oh, he ran faster.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How clever. He did do that. But what he did was he jumped into the Chicago Marathon and ran with the competitors.

SALIE: You're almost there.

KURTIS: You're almost there. Right.

SAGAL: The Nielsen Company blamed a software bug for seven months' worth of inflated blank reporting.

BODETT: Television viewing.

SAGAL: Yeah, TV rating.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That Neil Patrick Harris has been announced as the host of the 87th annual blanks.

BODETT: The Oscars.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida man covered in roof tar for attempting - while attempting to break into a store from above told police he wasn't trying to break in, he was just blanking.

BODETT: He was repairing the roof.

SAGAL: No. He said he was visiting his family up on the roof.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Florida police responded to a call of a suspicion man trying to break into a convenience store through the air-conditioning duct. But when they confronted the man, who was standing there covered in roof tar, he explained to them that he was just visiting his family who lived on the roof.

BODETT: And they found out that the family living on the roof was not his family.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Tom, we got five right for 10 more points. He now has 13. But Faith has the lead - 14.

SAGAL: All right. So...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, I know Roxanne. I've known her for years. She likes to win. How many does she need to do that?

KURTIS: 6 to win.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. Leaders from the U.S. and EU say they're close to reaching a deal with Iran over its blank program.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Their nuclear program.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a two month absence, North Korean leader blank made his first public appearance this week.

ROBERTS: Kim Jon Un on a cane.

SAGAL: There you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the FBI spoke out against technology companies improving their blank software.

ROBERTS: Privacy encryption.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A mobile billboard in Russia encouraging women to get mammograms blanked in a single day.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: It flashed?

SAGAL: No. It caused 500 traffic accidents.

ROBERTS: Oh.

SAGAL: The NFL announced that this year's Super Bowl halftime show would be performed by blank.

ROBERTS: Katy Perry.

SAGAL: I'm so excited.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To help those caught in natural disasters, on Wednesday, the social networking site blank unveiled a service called Safety Check.

ROBERTS: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Some customers who purchased Hermes's new $20,000 Birkin bags are complaining that the bags blank.

ROBERTS: Smell like burnt marijuana.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Birkin bags are among the most sought-after accessories in the world. Some people wait years just to be able to buy one for tens of thousands of dollars. So it's understandable that people started complaining when they noticed that their bag smelled like it came packed with its own tiny Grateful Dead concert.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hermes has apologized. It may be too late for them to catch up though with a competing product - a $13 handbag from Walmart stuffed with $20,000 worth of weed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you think about it, the better buy. Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She did get six right for 12 more points. So with 15, she is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Roxanne. Roxanne. Roxanne.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists after Charlie Crists's fan hit the fan, what will be the next big controversy at a political debate? Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.