Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It's time to move on to our final game, Lighting Fill In The Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: PJ has two, Faith and Alonzo each have three.

SAGAL: All right. So PJ, you are indubitably in third place, so you're going to start.

O'ROURKE: Yeah, as usual.

SAGAL: Here we are. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank - in light of recent progress, officials in Sierra Leone announced they were lifting their blank quarantine measures.

O'ROURKE: Ebola.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, defense lawyers in the blank trial again asked for it to be moved out of Massachusetts.

O'ROURKE: Oh, Tsarnaev.

SAGAL: Yeah, the Boston Marathon bomber accused.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: While speaking at Davos this week, Prince blank denied allegations of sexual misconduct.

O'ROURKE: Printing Andrew.

SAGAL: Group you are right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Citing concerns about climate change and nuclear weapons, scientists moved the hands of the blank clock two minutes closer to midnight.

O'ROURKE: The doomsday clock.

SAGAL: Yes indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: At a home in Vancouver, a blank was found between the cushions of a couch.

O'ROURKE: Toyota Prius?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. A wanted felon.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, Abdullah bin Abdulaziz, the king of blank, passed away at 91.

O'ROURKE: Saudi Arabia.

SAGAL: Indeed, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the FTC cited Dish Network for more than 57 million telemarketing violations, including calling people on the blank list.

O'ROURKE: On the no call list.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an effort to have taxpayer money, politicians in Canada may be told to blank while on official government duty.

O'ROURKE: (Laughter) Several things occur to me, but I won't mention any of them because this is NPR.

SAGAL: That really hasn't stopped you at all this hour.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: No, no it hasn't.

SAGAL: What are they supposed to do to save money?

O'ROURKE: Bring their own lunch.

SAGAL: So close.

O'ROURKE: Really?

SAGAL: The answer is bake their own snacks.

O'ROURKE: Bake?

SAGAL: I think we should give it to him.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Civil servants in Ontario have come up with a list of cost-cutting measures such as riding their own moose to work, instead of using an expensive moose sharing service like moo-ber.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They also plan to bake their own snacks rather than higher official catering, which is crazy. We all know Canadians get all of their snacks for free thanks to the country's Nationalized Snack Care Program.

O'ROURKE: Yes, exactly.

SAGAL: Hey, I think PJ did pretty darn well.

KURTIS: I'm shocked.

SAGAL: How did he do?

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: He got seven right - 14 more points. Wow. Sixteen and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's really impressive. We flipped a coin. Alonzo has elected to go last, so Faith you're up next. Fill in the blank - on Sunday, hundreds of people gathered to reenact the famous civil rights march in blank.

FAITH SALIE: Selma.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: House Republicans announced this week that they were abandoning their controversial bill that would've banned late-term blank.

SALIE: Abortions.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, GOP presidential hopefuls blank and blank held a private summit in Salt Lake City.

SALIE: Jeb Bush and Mitt Romney.

SAGAL: You're right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, officials in Ukraine announced they had ceded control of the Donetsk airport to the rebels backed by blank.

SALIE: Putin, Russia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to the New York Times, BMW has created a system in which you can tell your car to quote, "blank."

SALIE: Oh, sound louder.

SAGAL: No, go park yourself.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Melvin Gordon, the CEO of Tootsie blanks, passed away at 95.

SALIE: Tootsie Rolls.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Shortly after a drunken confrontation with police, goalkeeper Hope Solo was suspended for one month from the U.S. Women's blank team.

SALIE: Soccer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman in the UK made the news after she blanked to get out of a bad date.

SALIE: Oh, texted her invisible boyfriend.

SAGAL: No, she faked her own death. We've joked about it, she did it. So this is worth describing. So the woman tells the Daily Mirror newspaper she had gone on two previous dates with this guy. She had met him online. And he just was not getting the hint that she was not interested anymore. So the next time he texted her, she pretended to be her own sister and told him that the woman he was looking for was in the hospital. And he responded, oh, gee, he happened to be right in front of that hospital and would love to come up and visit her. And the woman said, oh you know what? She just died. Don't bother coming up, you're too late.

Bill how did Faith do?

KURTIS: Faith got six right, dropping only two. That means she has 12 more points with 15 now, but she still trails PJ...

SAGAL: Right.

KURTIS: ...Who has the lead.

SAGAL: So how many then, after these two stellar performances, does Alonzo need to win?

KURTIS: He needs seven.

SAGAL: All right Alonzo. This is for the game. Fill in the blank - the Supreme Court announced it would hear cases this year that would challenge state bans on blank.

ALONZO BODDEN: Gay marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two days after rebels seized the country's palace, the president of blank submitted his resignation.

BODDEN: The rebels took over the palace. There's a hundred countries that could happen in.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pick one, Alonzo.

BODDEN: Egypt.

SAGAL: No, it was Yemen. On Thursday, a water tower in Ypsilanti, Michigan was officially named the world's blankest building.

BODDEN: Tallest.

SAGAL: No, most phallic. Ash she often does - if you've seen it, it is. Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee got to the chambers nine hours early to get a good seat for the blank.

BODDEN: State of the Union.

SAGAL: You bet. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, four-time NASCAR champion blank announced he would be retiring at the end of the year.

BODDEN: Jeff Gordon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A New Zealand woman who visited a haunted house was upset to find that the attraction was now using blank in their ads.

BODDEN: Was now using blank in their ads?

SAGAL: Yes.

BODDEN: For a haunted house?

SAGAL: Yes.

BODDEN: Ghosts?

SAGAL: No. They were now using a picture of this woman wetting her pants. The Spookers haunted house in New Zealand claims that it's quote, and I quote them, I'm quoting the haunted house, "it's piss your pants scary."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And to prove it, their Facebook page features a picture of the woman having done just that. She says she wants the photo taken down because she's being recognized on the street, which probably means she should change the pants.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Alonzo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got three right. Six more...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Yeah.

KURTIS: ...And a total of nine. And he cannot catch PJ. He's the champion.

SAGAL: There you are.

(APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: It wasn't my fault and I'll never do it again. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.