Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Amy has two, Paul has three, Roy has four.

AMY DICKINSON: Whoa.

SAGAL: That's amazing.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: How did I do that?

SAGAL: I don't know. Well, that means, Amy, you're going to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, officials confirmed that an American aid worker in Sierra Leone has contracted blank.

DICKINSON: Ebola.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FCC released a 300-page rulebook outlining new regulations for the blank.

DICKINSON: Internet.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Congressional Budget Office reported that funding blank will cost 10 percent less than originally predicted.

DICKINSON: Oh, the health care - healthcare.gov.

SAGAL: Oh, you're so close. I'll give it to you. It's Obamacare. Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FDA approved the sale of a new powdered blank.

AUDIENCE: Alcohol.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Come on.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Alcohol.

SAGAL: Alcohol, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Apple apologized to its users for a 12-hour outage that prevented them from accessing their App Store and blank.

DICKINSON: Their watches. Their...

SAGAL: No, their iTunes. Three St. Louis teenagers...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Attempting to steal a bag of cocaine accidentally stole blank instead.

DICKINSON: A bag of baby powder.

SAGAL: No, a bag of cremains.

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: Yeah. The teenage thieves were fleeing the crime scene when they decided to stop and try some of the cocaine they thought they had stolen. They quickly realized that they were snorting ashes when instead of being filled with the sense of giddy self-confidence, they were instead filled with grandma.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Amy got four right. The audience got one.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: That means she got eight more points and a total of 10. She has the lead.

SAGAL: Very well done. All right. Paula, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, military forces in Iraq reclaimed the city of Tikrit from blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Is is.

SAGAL: Right. ISIS, is is, ISIL, whatever.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, two students caught on video reciting a racist chant were expelled from blank.

POUNDSTONE: Oklahoma University.

SAGAL: Indeed. The University of.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Colorado announced this week that its tax on blank has raised over $2.3 million for the public schools.

POUNDSTONE: Pot.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The UN announced that its Security Council was in talks to lift sanctions against blank.

POUNDSTONE: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After discovering that their meatballs legally did not contain any meat, a Finnish grocery store chain decided to rebrand them as blank.

POUNDSTONE: Meatless balls.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Close, just balls.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, just balls.

SAGAL: A court this week ordered "Blurred Lines" singer Robin Thick to pay the estate of blank more than $7 million for copyright infringement.

POUNDSTONE: Marvin Gaye. You bet ya.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Sam Simon, co-creator of the beloved show blank, passed away at 59.

POUNDSTONE: "The Simpsons."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A thief in Australia who stole a blanket out of a parked car...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Ended up blanking several hours later.

POUNDSTONE: Uh-uh. Chasing a guy down the street naked with a machete.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He returned the blanket with a note that said, quote, "your blanket is too itchy."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The blanket's owner didn't even know it had been stolen. But he came back to his car, and there was the blanket. And it had a note. And the note said, quote, "I hope you accept my apology for taking your stuff without asking. Kind regards, the blanket thief. P.S., your blanket is really itchy." Bill how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got six right, 12 more points, 15 total for the lead.

DICKINSON: Wow.

SAGAL: Well done. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So the question then becomes how many does Roy need to win?

KURTIS: Six to win.

SAGAL: All right, Roy, here we go.

BLOUNT: OK.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. On Sunday, thousands marched across the Edmund Pettus Bridge to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the original march in blank.

BLOUNT: Selma, Ala.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The GOP announced this week that they were changing the location of blank's famous presidential straw poll.

BLOUNT: Iowa.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Movie industry insiders in Vietnam say "50 Shades of Grey" may have flopped there because blank.

BLOUNT: 'Cause grey is just - they don't have grey over there.

SAGAL: No because government censors removed all the sex scenes.

BLOUNT: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new study from Cornell University reported that there are now too many blanks.

BLOUNT: (Laughter) Studies from Cornell University.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, actually, yes. Studies is the answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, NASA confirmed that they had discovered a giant blank on one of Jupiter's moons.

BLOUNT: Sea or a lake or a body of water.

SAGAL: Yes an ocean.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new campaign...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Hoping to attract businesses to Minnesota is assuring executives that their workers will be super productive if they move their companies to Minnesota because blank.

BLOUNT: Their hands don't smell like anything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. Because they won't want to go outside during the winter.

BLOUNT: Oh, yes. OK.

SAGAL: Minnesota is promising CEO's in less-advantageous places like California that they'll see a drastic increase in productivity 'cause all their workers will be trapped in the office by a giant wall of ice.

SAGAL: Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got four right, eight more points, total of 12. And that means Paula's the champion...

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

KURTIS: ...This week.

SAGAL: Paula, congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we will ask our panelists after their letter to Iran, who will the Senate write to next? Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.