Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Moshe has two. Roxanne - well, let's go with Brian's three, and Roxanne has the lead with four.

SAGAL: All right then. Moshe, you are in third place so you'll be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank aim. A National Guardsmen and his cousin were arrested Thursday for attempting to join blank.

MOSHE KASHER: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, President Obama agreed to slow the troop withdraw from blank.

KASHER: Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a judge denied bail to real estate heir and documentary subject blank, calling him a flight risk.

KASHER: My uncle, Robert Durst.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite the fact that we have the right to bear arms, an Oregon man was cited this week for carrying blank.

KASHER: An AK-47.

SAGAL: No.

KASHER: A gun.

SAGAL: No.

KASHER: A shotgun.

SAGAL: No.

KASHER: A taser.

SAGAL: This doesn't work that way.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He was actually cited for carrying bear arms - like, bear claws, actual bear claws. On Thursday, the first test of a blank vaccine was administered in Guinea.

KASHER: Ebola.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following a violent incident with the producer, the BBC fired Jeremy Clarkson, host of the popular car show blank.

KASHER: Car Talk.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This one's called "Top Gear." "Top Gear." This week, the NHL team the Ottawa Senators thanked...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Fans for their support before begging them please to stop blanking.

KASHER: Throwing things on the ice.

SAGAL: Right. But what?

KASHER: Canadians.

SAGAL: No. Hamburgers.

KASHER: Hot dogs. Oh, so close.

SAGAL: You were so close. Hamburgers. Many fans of the Ottawa Senators attribute the team's recent success to goalie Andrew "The Hamburglar" Hammond. And they've decided to express their gratitude by throwing hamburgers at him during games. It's become so ubiquitous and disgusting that the senators had to produce a video asking fans to stop. Although they do admit, it's better than last year when their goalie was Charles "Window-unit Air Conditioner" Pearson.

(LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: How do you Zamboni that?

SAGAL: Bill, how did Moshe do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Moshe got four right, eight more points. And with 10 points, you now have the lead, Moshe.

KASHER: It's going to stay that way. I guarantee it.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Guarantee it. Brian, you are up next. Fill in the blank. Thousands in England gathered to watch the funeral procession of blank, who died in 1495.

BABYLON: Oh, that guy?

SAGAL: That guy.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Shakespeare.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Shakespeare wrote about him, though, Richard III. Officials announced Thursday that blank would visit the White House in September.

BABYLON: This is horrible.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Beyonce.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Almost as good - the Pope. More than 100 firefighters were unable to save a blank from burning down in Chicago this week.

BABYLON: A church.

SAGAL: No, a fire extinguisher factory.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The late basketball coach Dean Smith willed $200 to all of his former varsity players so they could blank.

BABYLON: Go to dinner.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: PBS announced Thursday that the next season of their hit show blank would be its last.

BABYLON: "Downton Abbey."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Iowa State Senator Ross Paustian caused a stir this week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...When he was caught blanking during a floor debate.

BABYLON: Applying mascara.

SAGAL: No, he was caught reading a book called "Sex After 60."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There was debate and collective bargaining for teachers, and there sits Mr. Paustian holding up this book. He's ignoring them and reading the book about sex after 60. It proves he either wasn't paying attention or that Iowa teachers are asking for more than better overtime pay.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Brian do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Brian got two right, four more points, seven points at total. But Moshe still has the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

KASHER: I told you.

SAGAL: I know. How many does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Three to tie, four to win.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Roxanne. For the game. On Tuesday, officials in Israel denied allegations that they spied on meetings between the U.S. and blank.

ROBERTS: Russia.

SAGAL: No, Iran.

ROBERTS: Oh, that's right.

SAGAL: This week, Saudi Arabia ordered airstrikes against the rebels, who had taken control of key cities in blank.

ROBERTS: Yemen.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, legislators in Indiana came under fire for approving a religious liberties bill that critics say could lead to discrimination against blank.

ROBERTS: Same-sex couples.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tens of thousands were left without power after severe storms tore through blank.

ROBERTS: Oklahoma.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Maine searching a house for a fugitive were able to find him after he blanked.

ROBERTS: It's not the guy that left his credit card?

SAGAL: No, this is the guy that tweeted that he was hiding in the cabinet.

ROBERTS: Oh, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Scientists announced this week that they had successfully inserted blank genes into elephant cells.

ROBERTS: Woolly mammoth.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new report revealed that representatives from tech giant blank have visited the White House once a week since President Obama took office.

ROBERTS: I can't decide if it's Apple or Google.

SAGAL: You have to say one, Roxanne.

ROBERTS: Google.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Canadian man set the bar high for people on...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...First dates when he blanked on his first date.

ROBERTS: Got married.

SAGAL: No. When he saved a man's life by pulling him from a burning car. His name is Tristan Gareau, and he and his date were on their way to dinner when they saw a car smash into the side of a building with smoke and flames billowing from it. Immediately, he ran over, pulled the driver to safety. He admits it was pretty heroic. And no, the victim was not his best buddy Jared, the part-time stuntman.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well-enough to win?

KURTIS: She did very well. Five right, 10 more points, 14. That means she's the champ this week.

KASHER: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict what will be the first product from the newly-merged Heinz-Kraft company. You try to say it without a German accent. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.