Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game "Lightning Fill In The Blank." Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: P.J. and Roxanne have 3, and Brian has 2.

SAGAL: All right. So Brian, you are up first.

BRIAN BABYLON: OK.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank - this week, the Nigerian army rescued over 200 girls who had been kidnapped by blank.

BABYLON: Boko Haram.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man suspected of a string of car break-ins was arrested in Naples, Fla., while blanking?

BABYLON: While tweeting.

SAGAL: No, while wearing a shirt that read, warning - I do dumb things.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, Hawaii's state legislature passed a bill that would raise the legal blanking age...

BABYLON: Smoking.

SAGAL: ...To 21? Yes...

BABYLON: Smoking.

SAGAL: ...Smoking.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: "SNL" cast-member Cecily Strong of Oak Park, Ill., received generally positive reviews as the host of this year's blank.

BABYLON: The (gibberish). I don't know.

SAGAL: The White House Correspondents' Dinner. The Iowa State Capitol Building...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Was evacuated on Monday after a member of the State Senate blanked.

O'ROURKE: Too easy.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I don't know - farted.

SAGAL: No, left their mac 'n' cheese in the microwave too long. Members of Iowa's state government were understandably concerned when an alarm forced the evacuation of the Capitol building. But an investigation by the fire department quickly discovered the cause, one hungry senator or staffer's charred bowl of mac 'n' cheese.

BABYLON: That'll do it.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Brian Babylon do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Brian got two right for four more points. He now has 6 and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Brian.

BABYLON: No, no.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. P.J. has elected to go last. So Roxanne, you're up next, fill in the blank. This week, emergency crews in Nepal continued rescue efforts following the blank that hit the country last Saturday.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: The earthquake.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After weeks of scrutiny, the head of the Clinton Foundation admitted that it made mistakes in how it disclosed blank.

ROBERTS: Donors and taxes.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, California Governor Jerry Brown raised the maximum fine for anyone caught blanking to $10,000.

ROBERTS: Illegally using water.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During a speech on Wednesday, blank called for equal pay in the workplace.

ROBERTS: The pope.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in the UK was arrested for being drunk in public after he blanked.

ROBERTS: He ate a muffin.

SAGAL: He confused a police car for a taxi and asked the officers to take him home.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: During an interview with Diane Sawyer, former Olympic athlete blank came out as transgender?

ROBERTS: Bruce Jenner.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Russian Federal Space Agency announced it had lost control of a rocket that was bringing supplies to blank?

ROBERTS: The Space Station.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An accused drug trafficker in Virginia...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROBERTS: ...Was able to flee authorities after placing his ankle monitor on his blank.

ROBERTS: Dog.

SAGAL: So close - his cat.

ROBERTS: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Dog wouldn't work; dog would follow him. Dogs love you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Cat works. Cat doesn't care. Cat wanders off in its own direction.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Anyway, they - when - you know, when the monitor began to act up, they thought it was just a malfunction. But then when it showed that the man was desperately chasing a laser pointer, they decided to investigate.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: How did they find out? I mean...

SAGAL: I don't know. Presumably, they were looking at the results and going...

ROBERTS: No, it never moved.

O'ROURKE: I was going to say - hey, that guy - that guy has been in that sunny spot on the floor...

SAGAL: All day.

O'ROURKE: ...For 11 hours.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do in our quiz? Pretty well, as per usual, am I right?

KURTIS: She did very well. She got six right for 12 more points. She has 15 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right...

O'ROURKE: Oh, I surrender.

SAGAL: How many then...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does P.J. need to win?

KURTIS: Six to tie, seven to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, P.J.

O'ROURKE: I surrender. I...

SAGAL: For the game, for the game. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments over whether same-sex couples have the right to blank.

O'ROURKE: Marriage.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to an internal review, NBC has reportedly found over a dozen instances where suspended anchor blank embellished the truth.

O'ROURKE: Brian Williams.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Saudi Arabia resumed airstrikes against Iranian-backed rebels in blank.

O'ROURKE: Yemen.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A teenager visiting India learned you should never blank a monkey.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Spank a monkey.

SAGAL: No, you should never give the monkey the finger. The monkey dropped down and kicked him. This week, Jean Nidetch, founder of the popular diet program blank, passed away at 91.

O'ROURKE: Weight Watchers.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an effort to get chess added to...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...The Winter Olympics, the International Chess Federation says it will blank.

O'ROURKE: Yeah, play chess downhill at 70 miles an hour.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. That would be more interesting. They say they will play chess with pieces made of ice.

O'ROURKE: I see, yeah.

SAGAL: The Olympic Charter says winter sports must be played on snow or ice, so the Chess Federation says they'll play with ice pieces. The Olympic charter also says sports must be sports.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did P.J. do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got four right for eight more points. And he got 11, so we crown...

O'ROURKE: Oh, too little too late.

KURTIS: ...Roxanne one more time...

SAGAL: One more time.

KURTIS: ...Queen...

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: ...For WAIT WAIT.

SAGAL: Wow, you cannot catch Roxanne. Roxanne, congratulations. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.