Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: I can. Gabe got four, Luke - two and Paula - one.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: This is when I really come alive.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Paula. You are in third place.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: So you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question.

POUNDSTONE: Perfect.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. According to investigators, the Amtrak train that derailed in blank this week was traveling at twice the recommended speed limit.

POUNDSTONE: Philadelphia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, "Women Of Algiers," a painting by blank, broke records when it sold for over $179 million.

POUNDSTONE: On my Heavens, I don't know. Maybe Picasso.

SAGAL: In fact, Picasso. Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tuesday marked the beginning of a five-day truce between Iranian-backed rebels and the government of blank.

POUNDSTONE: Yemen.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an official post on the department's Facebook page, the police force of North Adams, Mass., advised their citizens not to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Not to run in front of cars.

SAGAL: No, not to get drunk and chase bears with a dull hatchet, which one of the residents did.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Last week, San Francisco became the first city to ban blank at its sporting venues.

POUNDSTONE: Plastic bottles.

SAGAL: No. Chewing tobacco. Due to a contract dispute, Harry Shearer announced he would be ending his 26-year run providing voices on blank.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, "The Simpsons."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in Arkansas who thought he had the Hebrew word...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...For strength tattooed on his arm discovered he actually had blank.

POUNDSTONE: Putz.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. It's actually the word matzah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So this went viral on Facebook, this photograph. A Jewish person took it when they saw him in Arkansas. This guy was very proud 'cause he said the word tattooed very large letters, Hebrew letters on his arm meant strength. But the person who took the picture, who can read Hebrew, knew that it was actually the word matzah. That's the flat, unleavened, crisp bread that Jews eat during Passover. In other words, this Arkansas man had an enormous tattoo on his arm of the word cracker.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: No, worse. He had flavorless cracker.

SAGAL: Yes. Truly is the worst. Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Paula got five right for 10 more points. She has 11 and the lead.

SAGAL: Very well done.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: I don't know. I don't think it's going to be enough.

SAGAL: Luke, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, while still recovering from last week's earthquake, blank experienced a 7.3 aftershock.

LUKE BURBANK: Nepal.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the NFL announced it was suspending blank for four games for his role in deflategate.

BURBANK: Tom terrific.

SAGAL: Right or Tom Brady.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a new treaty due to be signed this week, the Vatican officially recognized blank's statehood.

BURBANK: South Carolina.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, Palestine. This week, Jeb Bush announced that knowing what we know now, he would not authorize blank.

BURBANK: The war in Iraq.

SAGAL: Right. He changed his mind a little bit.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Pennsylvania may get kicked out of his retirement home after he was discovered hiding a blank under his bed.

BURBANK: A prostitute.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a statement released on Sunday, the World Health Organization declared that Liberia was free from blank.

BURBANK: Ebola.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, ESPN announced they were parting ways with columnist and Grantland founder blank.

BURBANK: Bill Simmons.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A 51-year-old man who suffered from breathing problems his whole life is...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Breathing freely now after he blanked.

BURBANK: Died.

SAGAL: No, after he sneezed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Although, that would be a solution. What this guy did was he sneezed out a toy dart that had been stuck in his nose for 44 years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: When Steve Easton was but seven years old, he and some friends were playing a classic game of Steve's nostril is bull's-eye. Forty-four years later, he got in a sneezing fit - fwoop (ph) - out it came. His wife said God bless you, even though, clearly, God had not been paying any attention to Steve for the prior 44 years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got six right for 12 more points and took over the lead with 14.

SAGAL: All right. So how many then does Gabe need to win this game?

KURTIS: Five to tie and six to win.

GABE LIEDMAN: I can do that.

SAGAL: You can do this. Here we go, Gabe, for the game. On Monday, the White House denied allegations that it had lied about the details of the raid that killed blank.

LIEDMAN: Bin Laden.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to officials in Iraqi, a coalition airstrike on Tuesday killed blank's second in command.

LIEDMAN: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the House voted to end blank's phone surveillance program.

LIEDMAN: NSA.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: George Stephanopoulos apologized this week for not disclosing a $50,000 donation he had made to blank.

LIEDMAN: The Clinton Foundation.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A TV anchor in Detroit threw to Wednesday morning's weater report by saying blank.

LIEDMAN: F you guys.

SAGAL: No, she said, quote, "Hopefully we'll have a dry hump day."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the Department of Homeland Security, the two Secret Service agents who crashed through a grate and drove onto the White House lawn were probably blank.

LIEDMAN: Drunk.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Tom Hanks was announced as the guest for the final episode of blank's late-night show.

LIEDMAN: Letterman.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A group of thieves in New York who stole a cash register and...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A bowl of macaroni salad from a restaurant were eventually caught when police blanked.

LIEDMAN: Found them eating the macaroni a couple feet away.

SAGAL: No, they followed the trail of spilled macaroni.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the police report, the three thieves took turns eating the stolen food leaving, quote, "a steady trail of macaroni salad."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The police then followed that trail and ended up arresting Hansel and Gretel just before they made it to the gingerbread house...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Where the witch who fenced their loot lived. Bill, how did Gabe do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, look how the rookie did. He got six right, 12 more points, a winner at 16.

LIEDMAN: Yeah.

SAGAL: Well done, Gave.

LIEDMAN: Yes!

POUNDSTONE: Very nice.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.