Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Greg has two, Roxanne and Tom are tied with three.

SAGAL: OK. The way it works, Greg, is that you are in last place, so that means you go first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Please fill in the blank. Former Texas Governor Rick Perry announced on Thursday that he was blanking.

GREG PROOPS: Running for President.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Last week a federal grand jury indicted former House Speaker blank for lying to federal agents.

PROOPS: Hastert.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes. In St. Louis, rapper, Little Wayne, attacked a referee at a blank.

PROOPS: Basketball game?

SAGAL: Yes indeed, but it was a stop the violence charity basketball game.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, Pong and Doom became the first two inductees into the blank.

PROOPS: Turtle hall of fame.

SAGAL: No, the Video Game Hall of Fame. With some help from his family, a 91-year-old man in Illinois was able to fulfill his lifelong dream of blanking.

PROOPS: Skydiving?

SAGAL: No, backing a car through a garage door.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In the feel-good story of the week, if not the decade, 91-year-old Walter Thomas had only one thing left on his bucket list. He wanted - and this is true - he really wanted to back a car right through a garage door, just like they do in the movies. So with some help from his family and the crash helmet, they got a garage that was going to be destroyed. They got and old SUV nobody needed. He threw the SUV in reverse and smashed through the door, finally able to do intentionally what every single other driver in his nineties eventually does accidentally.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Greg Proops do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got two right.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Gives him four more points. He now has six and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Greg.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go last. Tom, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Government officials say that a cyber attack that comprised the information of over 4 million federal employees originated from blank.

TOM BODETT: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday Caitlin Jenner made her debut on the cover of blank.

BODETT: Vanity Fair.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report from the EPA, blanking has not led to the widespread pollution of drinking water.

BODETT: The farming?

SAGAL: No, fracking. According to health officials, this year's blank vaccine is only 19 percent effective.

BODETT: Flu.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials from the Pennsylvania Highway Patrol confirmed that a man was drunk when he blanked.

BODETT: He set up a fake sobriety checkpoint.

SAGAL: Yes. He got drunk so he set up a fake DUI checkpoint on the highway.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: I mean, who hasn't gotten drunk and tried to do that?

SAGAL: I know. This week, the FDA approved flibanserin, a drug that's being called blank for women.

BODETT: Viagra.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, beleaguered Canadian pop star blank pleaded guilty to assault and reckless driving.

BODETT: The Bieber.

SAGAL: The Justin Bieber.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police looking for a man who robbed a convenience store in Iowa were able to find him by blanking.

BODETT: By following the trail of Cheetos.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: They followed Cheetos and other snacks. At 11 p.m. on Sunday, police in Iowa responded to a call about a break-in at a local convenience store. When they arrived, they found a trail of snack food and lottery tickets leading to a man whose shirt was covered in nacho cheese.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really, it was just like Hansel and Gretel finding their way back home to their father by following the trail of breadcrumbs, except that their father is stoned out of his mind.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He's hot tonight. He got seven right, 14 more points - 17 and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done. All right. So the question for us all now is how many does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to tie and eight to win.

SAGAL: Oh, it is a tall order.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: It's going to be a tough one, yeah.

SAGAL: This is for the game. Fill in the blank. This week, officials reported that a man who was fatally shot by officers in blank was involved, they say, in a terror plot.

ROBERTS: Fatally shot in Boston.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Pentagon confirmed this week that they accidentally sent live blank to 51 labs around the world.

ROBERTS: Anthrax.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the House voted to retain travel restrictions to blank.

ROBERTS: Cuba?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Divers were called in on Wednesday to search for survivors of a passenger ship that capsized in blank.

ROBERTS: In the Yangtze River.

SAGAL: In China, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Northeastern Germany called in to deal with an angry mob armed with knives and sticks, instead discovered blank.

ROBERTS: They were asparagus harvesters.

SAGAL: You're so good, Roxanne. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the Associated Press revealed that the blank had been piloting surveillance planes over major American cities.

ROBERTS: FBI.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Chicago Blackhawks and the Tampa Bay lightning played the first game of the blank finals.

ROBERTS: Stanley Cup.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In Dubai - here we go for the game - a woman who came home to find an intruder sleeping in her bed reacted by blanking.

ROBERTS: Taking a selfie.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Oh my.

SAGAL: Yes. You need to learn from this woman. If you come home and find a strange man in your bed, don't panic. You have plenty of time to get a selfie, then tweet it @911, he might murder me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, I think Roxanne pulled that off. Did she?

KURTIS: She pulled it off. I've never seen it done since I've been here in a year. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done, Roxanne.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that Sepp Blatter has stepped down from FIFA, what will he do next? Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.