Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer, now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Luke has three. Faith and Charlie each have two.

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped coin and Charlie has elected to go second. So, Faith, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, House Republicans revived the fast-tracked blank bill that was voted down last week.

FAITH SALIE: Trade?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. EU officials reported, Sunday, that last-minute bail-out talks with blank had failed...

SALIE: Germ - Greece.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes. In an effort to improve work-life balance, Goldman Sachs is now encouraging their interns to blank.

SALIE: Go home between 12 a.m. and 7 a.m.

SAGAL: Exactly right. To only work 17 hours a day.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the first time in six years, the Chicago Blackhawks won the blank.

SALIE: Stanley Cup.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week marked the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Which Lord Protector of England Oliver Cromwell once called blank.

SALIE: A scourge on mankind.

SAGAL: No, he called it - and this is true - the Magna Farta

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: I had no idea fart jokes went back that far.

SAGAL: That's the great thing. The Magna Carta - of course, first signed 800 years ago, this week - but in the 17th century Oliver Cromwell, confronted with its edicts, said, quote, "I care not for the Magna Farta." Comforting to know that fart jokes date back that long. Who could forget Shakespeare's "If Beans Be The Food Of Love, Toot On?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Faith got four right, eight more points. She has a total of 10 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right, so...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Charlie, as per your choice, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Rachel Dolezal stepped down from her position as the president of Spokane's chapter of the blank.

CHARLIE PIERCE: NAACP.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During a speech this week, the pope called for a, quote, "global revolution" to fight blank.

PIERCE: Climate change.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve announced it would continue holding blank rates at historically low levels.

PIERCE: Interest rates.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The California Labor Commission ruled Wednesday that blank drivers should be considered employees, not contractors.

PIERCE: Uber.

SAGAL: Uber, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Boston Red Sox benched third-baseman Pablo Sandoval after he blanked during a game.

PIERCE: Well, he's already forgotten how many outs there were, but that - he did something else this week.

SAGAL: No.

PIERCE: Oh, he took a - he did an Instagram in the bathroom.

SAGAL: Yes, he did. He liked a woman's pictures on Instagram.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, two teens swimming in Oak Island, N.C., were victims of separate blank attacks.

PIERCE: Sharks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Wednesday marked the 130th anniversary of France gifting blank to the U.S.

PIERCE: The Statue of Liberty.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Seattle man named James Tyler, who was wanted by police...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Was caught this week when he blanked.

PIERCE: When he tipped a canoe.

SAGAL: No, when he drove around the city in a car with a vanity license plate with his name on it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: As if that weren't enough, when police pulled the man from the car, they noted that he was also wearing a pair of monogrammed socks, a nametag and, most embarrassingly, his mom had written "Wanted Felon" on the inside of his underwear.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Charlie do? It seemed he did pretty well.

KURTIS: Well, he did very well. Seven right, 14 more points and the total is now 16 and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So many, then, does Luke need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to win.

SAGAL: This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, NBC announced that blank would not be returning as anchor of the "Nightly News."

LUKE BURBANK: Brian Williams

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FCC proposed fining blank $100 million for slowing down their data speeds.

BURBANK: Comcast

SAGAL: No, AT&T. According to reports, a recent drone strike in Yemen killed blank's second-in-command.

BURBANK: Al-Qaida.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Iowa GOP voted unanimously to cancel their famous blank.

BURBANK: Straw poll.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Colorado Springs is expected to make a full recovery after he shot himself in the foot in order to blank.

BURBANK: Get out of work.

SAGAL: No, in order to see how it feels to be shot in the foot.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For the first time since 1975, the Golden State Warriors won the blank championship.

BURBANK: NBA.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. On Sunday, the season finale of blank shattered HBO viewership records.

BURBANK: "Game Of Thrones."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. A 6-year-old Welsh girl has fully recovered after she presented...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...The Queen with a bouquet of flowers and was accidentally blanked.

BURBANK: Tased.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Slapped in the face by a saluting soldier.

SALIE: Aw.

BURBANK: And then tased.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The young girl, who was participating in a ceremony honoring the Queen's visit, had just handed off a bouquet of posies when a soldier, who was raising his hand to salute, accidentally slapped her in the face. She'll be fine, of course. Can't say the same for the soldier who did the deed. He suffered massive bruising after the girl accidentally kicked him repeatedly in the shins...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...In the traditional Welsh foot salute.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Luke do well enough to win the game?

KURTIS: Well, he got five right, 10 more points, total of 13. But that means Charlie is the winner.

SAGAL: Right. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Charlie. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.