Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play our games on the air, give us a call, leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can call click on the contact us link at our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. You can find out about attending our weekly live shows, usually at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And you can check out the latest episode of our sister podcast, "How To Do Everything." This week, Ian and Mike tell you how much money you do not have.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's cheerful.

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SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

ANDREA DEYRUP: Hi, I'm Andrea Deyrup, calling from Siler City, N.C.

SAGAL: Siler City, I don't know about that. Now, what do you do there?

DEYRUP: I'm writing a novel, and I am the pathology course director for Duke University Medical School.

SAGAL: The pathology course director...

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Good for you.

SAGAL: ...Of Duke University. Now, we happen to be here in Kentucky.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And it is my understanding that there is some bad blood going back to a certain basketball game between Kentucky and Duke. Is that the case?

DEYRUP: Go Blue Devils.

SAGAL: I see.

ADAM FELBER: Yeah.

(BOOING)

SAGAL: I was going to give you a chance to sort of heal that breach to bring the two communities together.

FELBER: Not so much.

SAGAL: OK, well, welcome to the show, Andrea. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

KURTIS: As we roam the wide world in a jet, my fluffy deserves a couchette. I will pay any rate to avoid the dread crate. I am buying first-class for my...

DEYRUP: Pet.

SAGAL: Yes, for your pet - very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Pet it is. Yes, it is.

SAGAL: American Airlines is now offering cuddle class, a spacious private cabin just for pets. This is great news for traveling dogs who regularly complain as they fly about the lack of leg-humping room. There will be a variety of pet amenities - dog toys, snacks. Perhaps the most impressive, though - and this is in first class on transcontinental flights - New York to LA. It's the airline's new pet centric in-flight entertainment console. It's just a picture of another dog's butt taped to the cabin wall.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: We tadpole girls love juicy blogs. Kermit's single, but still into hogs. We won't choose study mates, just some really hot dates. We are seeking out good looking...

DEYRUP: Frogs.

KURTIS: Frogs, it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yeah, frogs very good. A new study in the journal Science says frogs make bad dating choices, so you're not alone. Actually, you probably are alone because you make bad dating choices.

FELBER: How do you judge that these are the wrong choices? I mean...

SAGAL: Maybe it's right for them.

FELBER: I picture these scientists sitting there going, like, well, I thought that one was pretty hot, but he chose the wrong one.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: She's got no taste in frogs.

KURTIS: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Andrea still has one more limerick. Ready for it, Andrea?

DEYRUP: I sure am.

SAGAL: Here it is.

KURTIS: Hey, bartender, what do you got? My friends are done tying the knot, so now comes the point when we toast with a joint, and this wedding is serving up...

DEYRUP: Pot.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Pot it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes, very good. With marijuana legal in Colorado and Washington, couples are featuring pot bars at their weddings in those states. Even though, of course, it's still illegal under federal law, right? And with that, somewhere in Kentucky, a county clerk's head just exploded.

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SAGAL: They can do that?

Anyway, a weed wedding makes perfect sense. Think of the money you'll save. Instead of expensive catered food, you have a bud-tender and then serve Cheetohs and Cool Whip.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A little embarrassing, though, when the pastor asks the couple to repeat the vows. It's like, repeat after me - I, Bob. I - who?

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TOM BODETT: Who really is Bob?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Bob is complicated.

SAGAL: Wait, a minute are you Bob?

BODETT: I am sometimes.

SAGAL: Because you just said you're Bob and I'm Bob.

FELBER: That means you're going to marry my fiancee?

AMY DICKINSON: What?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Andrea do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, we would expect nothing less than a perfect score from Andrea - 3 and 0.

SAGAL: Well done, Andrea.

DEYRUP: Thank you.

SAGAL: Congratulations. Thanks so much for playing.

DEYRUP: Thank you, Peter.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "HERE COMES THE BRIDE")

MICHAEL PROPHET: (Singing) Here comes the bride, now that she dressed in white. Here comes the bride, with that pretty smile. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.