Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924, or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. OK?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I'm good.

SAGAL: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Choked on a pitcher.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Your favorite thing is to pretend I'm not here. Have you ever noticed that?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Go ahead, go ahead.

SAGAL: I just inquired after your health. Wasn't that (unintelligible)?

POUNDSTONE: No, that was very sweet. Thank you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and check out the latest How to do Everything podcast. This week we tell you how to make friends when you're stranded on a desert island. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MAXINE BOOTH: Well, hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

BOOTH: Maxine in Jamestown, Tennessee.

SAGAL: Jamestown. I don't know where Jamestown, Tennessee is. Where is Jamestown?

BOOTH: Well, it's sort of midway between Knoxville and Nashville.

SAGAL: OK. And what do you do there?

BOOTH: I'm a retired nurse.

SAGAL: OK.

BOOTH: And so I do whatever I want.

SAGAL: Well, what do you...

AMY DICKINSON: Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right.

Maxine, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell, back with us again, is returning to the verse form. He's going to perform for you three news-related limericks with that last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

BOOTH: I'm ready.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL ANNOUNCER: Evolution has not reached its peak, for example, our teeth are still weak. Teeth like sharks not absurd or we'll be more like birds, yes we humans just might grow a...

BOOTH: Beak.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A beak.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Humans might well someday evolve beaks, according to researchers at Sheffield University. This is because beaks are superior to teeth in that they don't rot or fall out. And also because, thanks to the Supreme Court, humans now have the right to mate with birds.

(LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: So does that mean my big nose means I'm more evolved than you guys?

SAGAL: You are, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

ANNOUNCER: Make sure that your shoes are off, mister. Right hand red, don't be touching my sister. Chuck Foley has passed, but his memory will last. He invented the party game...

BOOTH: Twister.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: We take a moment this week to mark the passing of Chuck Foley, inventor of the game Twister. Mr. Foley invented it in the mid '60s in St. Paul, Minnesota, a place noted for both good times and sexual repression.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Without Twister, millions of 14-year-old boys would never have accidentally been able to touch the boobs of millions of 14-year-old girls at birthday parties.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's your last limerick.

ANNOUNCER: My kid's got a modeling gig, she's a month old and bald as a pig. We're not gonna go with a cute little bow. No, we're fitting her for a small...

BOOTH: Wig.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A wig.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Baby bangs is the name of a new, quote, "fashionable" wig for babies...

DICKINSON: Oh, my god.

SAGAL: ...if you don't like the bald look on your baby daughter, or if you're just tired of your baby being mistaken for a baby. So far it's just for girls, like I said, but baby boys are anxiously awaiting the launch of "My First Combover."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Maxine do on our quiz?

ANNOUNCER: Perfect, Pete. Three correct answers, Maxine you win our prize.

SAGAL: Awesome. Congratulations.

POUNDSTONE: All right, Maxine.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

BOOTH: Thank you, thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you, Maxine. Thanks for playing.

BOOTH: Thanks. Bye-bye.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.