Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lighting Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our first ever show at Red Rocks in Colorado on July 10.

PETER GROSZ: Wow.

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

MICHAEL BETTMAN: Hi, this is Michael.

SAGAL: Hello, Michael.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How are you?

BETTMAN: I'm good. How are you?

SAGAL: I'm fine.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: Your session is ending in five minutes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So where are you calling from, Michael?

BETTMAN: From Etna, New Hampshire.

SAGAL: And what do you do there?

BETTMAN: I'm a retired radiologist.

SAGAL: A retired radiologist.

BETTMAN: Yes.

SAGAL: So now you just x-ray things for fun.

(LAUGHTER)

BETTMAN: Yes.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Michael. You're going to play our listener limerick challenge. Of course, Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

BETTMAN: Yeah.

SAGAL: All right. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Hungry babies we men will not bilk 'cause sows ears can make purses of silk. Now Henry and Marve won't let the kids starve. It's time that we fathers make...

BETTMAN: Milk.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: From time to time, every man has looked at his own nipples and said wow, if these worked, I'd never have to leave the house.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, according to a new study in nipular science, you can get squeezing guys 'cause you can make milk. In fact, in rare cases, male domesticated animals like cats, guinea pigs and Steve Inskeep have produced milk.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: British women find Sasquatch petite. Our shoes aren't boats, they're a fleet. We need giant keels from our toes to our heels. We Brits have some extra large...

BETTMAN: Feet.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: New researcher has found that the average British foot has grown more than two sizes in the past 40 years. If this trend continues, many worry it will be someday impossible to knock British people over.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The average male shoe size in England now 11.

ROCCA: Wow.

SAGAL: So you know what it means if I guy has big feet, it also means he probably has terrible teeth and is vaguely pear-shaped.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: After test drives, I feel quite bedraggled because the salesperson's tongue starts to waggle. He's offering deals, and my head starts to real. I'd rather get teeth drilled than...

BETTMAN: Haggled.

SAGAL: Yes. Haggle.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good. A study from the automotive website Edmunds found 20 percent of Americans would rather give up sex for 40 days than haggle with a car salesman.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And people who are buying smart cars are apparently willing to give up sex forever.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Even more shocking, 60 percent of Americans would rather have sex with their car salesman than haggle with their spouse.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Michael do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He did great. Michael, congratulations.

SAGAL: Thank you for playing, Michael. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

BETTMAN: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

BETTMAN: Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.