Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's a game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play on air, call and leave a message 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 - or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Illinois and our upcoming show in Seattle, September 18th. And check out our How To Do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian trick me into eating granola bars made with bugs.

(LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: Oh.

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

SHELLY BHARGAV: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

BHARGAV: I'm Shelly Bhargav.

SAGAL: Hi, Shelly. Where are you calling from?

BHARGAV: Mountain View, California.

SAGAL: Mountain View, California?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Down on the peninsula.

BHARGAV: Yep.

SAGAL: Not far from here.

BHARGAV: Not very far at all.

SAGAL: No. What do you do there?

BHARGAV: I'll actually be moving down to LA.

SAGAL: Oh, no.

BHARGAV: I know.

SAGAL: For many people here, a fate worse than death.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: This call is over, Shelly.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to our show, Shelly. Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

BHARGAV: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: We startups have one renowned passion. We code stuff, get big and then cash-in. The code of our dress is more of a mess. And yet, it's the acme of...

BHARGAV: Fashion.

SAGAL: Yes, fashion.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Banana Republic has a new line of entrepreneurial fashion, and they're calling the look Startup Guy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's all untucked shirts, rolled up pants - for the young, .com go-getter who wants to say to the world, I'm rich enough that it doesn't matter that I look like I'm a little boy who raided his big brother's closet in the dark.

(LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: What kind of outfits are they - I mean, are these...

SAGAL: Well, they're sort of khaki pants and, you know, untucked, stripey shirts...

DICKINSON: Aren't they clothes that are really too small for people?

SAGAL: Yeah, they look a little too small.

DICKINSON: That's the look, OK.

BURBANK: That's the Wes Anderson collection...

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: (Laughing) Yeah, right.

BURBANK: Which is a different part of the store.

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: This recipe is made for a man. Get eight-inch round or a Bundt pan. Take product and shake, quick spray and short bake. Voila, you've got cake from a...

BHARGAV: Pam.

SAGAL: Pam is close. Pam comes in a?

BHARGAV: Spray can.

SAGAL: Yes. Can is the answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good. A couple of Harvard engineering students have created aerosol spray cake batter.

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

SAGAL: It's like a can of Easy Cheese, but it's cake batter. And in theory, you spray it into a pan, microwave it, you have cake. No way, though, one drop of this stuff is ever going anywhere but directly into some poor slob's mouth.

DICKINSON: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Regular cake is how you say happy birthday. Aerosol cake sprayed directly into your throat is how you say sad birthday.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: (Singing) Happy birthday to me - (imitating aerosol spraying sound).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: On an airplane, my kind is this reviled. They think I'm whiny and wild. So they made a back section with nanny protection. I sit here 'cause I am a...

BHARGAV: Child.

SAGAL: Yes. A child.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good. This week, Richard Branson of Virgin Airlines - remember him? - announced his intention to one day create a kids' section on his planes. The idea is to have all the babies and children sit together. They're in a closed off section, attended to by a team of specially trained nannies, who we assume would be regular flight attendants who had really, really screwed up in their prior assignment.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why stop there? There should also be a section for people who want to talk to their seatmates - or a B.O. section.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh wait...that's called coach.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Can we just be, like, on the same page that that sounds like a pretty good idea, kind of? I mean, I don't have kids. Once again, maybe I'm the single guy.

KURTIS: Well, he was going to make it a ball pit.

SAGAL: Yeah. That would be awesome.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Seems dangerous on impact.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BABYLON: Yeah, the kid is in there, like, you know, bicycle-seat bike, jumping in the ball pit.

BURBANK: Or maybe super-safe on impact. What if it was like packing peanuts?

SAGAL: Yeah, there you go.

BURBANK: They'd probably be fine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I think they should send - crate them and put them in cargo like large pets.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Give them a little Benadryl and a hot dog...

SAGAL: They're good to go.

BURBANK: We'll see you in Dallas.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Shelly do?

KURTIS: Shelly did perfect. Great job, Shelly.

BABYLON: Good job, Shelly.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing.

BHARGAV: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.