Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. And be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to spice up your next hot tub party and warm up your cow. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

JESSE RIFKIN: Hi, my name is Jesse Rifkin. I'm calling from Washington, D.C.

SAGAL: Hey, Jesse. It's nice to hear from you. What do you do there?

RIFKIN: I'm an intern with the Politics Bureau for The Huffington Post.

SAGAL: Oh, you're on The Huffington Post.

RIFKIN: Yes.

SAGAL: You're one of people of who Arianna Huffington and all her benevolence does not pay.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: That's the cleverest business model in the world.

(LAUGHTER)

RIFKIN: She pays me. She does.

SAGAL: Welcome to the show, Jesse. Bill Kurtis is now going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to play?

RIFKIN: Yes, I am.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: No, not Harry or Jerry or Larry. Think southeast of Chicago and scary. Though it's had some good years, the name disappears. Soon nobody will be named...

RIFKIN: Gary.

SAGAL: Gary, Ind. Gary, Indi. Gary, yes. First, the woolly mammoth ,then the dodo bird, now the Gary. This week, Britain's Independent newspaper warned of the demise of Gary; once one of the most popular names for boys and rather unlucky girls. Apparently only a handful of babies were it named Gary this year putting it at 578 place in the U.S. list of popular baby names. Don't worry. Conservationists have a plan to restore the population if they can just finally get Gary's to mate in captivity.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: I sing "Baby Beluga" with Raffi. Then I get a skim cap., extra frothy. Though I only toddle, I eat like a model. Two kale crisps and one mug of...

RIFKIN: Coffee.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Coffee.

SAGAL: According to a new study, 15 percent of toddlers in Boston drink coffee every day. Apparently, they're drinking the equivalent of one shot of espresso. Sometimes they drink up to four shots or roughly 16 diaper-fulls. Starbucks says they're not capitalizing on this. But if that's true, why are they now selling coffee in tall, grande, venti and sippy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Glasses raised, but my heart starts to stink. I see wrinkles grow, eyes and chin shrink. As I take further sips, my attractiveness dips. I should've just stuck to one...

RIFKIN: Drink.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Drink it is.

SAGAL: Very good. Now, you have heard of beer goggles. This is not that. Scientists have determined that you are actually more physically attractive - at your most attractive after one drink of alcohol. It makes your cheeks rosy, makes your eyes dilate giving you that sexy drug addict glow.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But here's the thing it. If you're like, oh, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm looking great. You have another drink, things go downhill. You get slack-jawed. And after a few more, the people who - the only people who would find you hot are people who are really into crying.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR.: You start smelling people's hands on purpose.

SAGAL: Yeah. Bill, how did Jesse do on our quiz?

KURTIS: You know, Jesse got all three.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Jesse. Well done.

KURTIS: Way to go, Jess.

RIFKIN: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "RICO SUAVE")

GERARDO MEJIA: (Singing) Rico Sauve. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.