Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lighting Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show at the Mann Center in Philadelphia on July 9. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

LANE CHENEY: Hello. How are you?

SAGAL: I'm fine. Who's this?

CHENEY: This is Lane.

SAGAL: Hey, Lane.

CHENEY: I'm calling from Midwest, Wyo.

SAGAL: Midwest, Wyo.?

CHENEY: Yes.

SAGAL: I have never heard of that.

CHENEY: Midwest.

SAGAL: I've never heard of Midwest, Wyo. Where is that?

CHENEY: It is in central Wyoming.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, it is. What do you do there in Midwest, Wyo.?

CHENEY: I teach music in a tiny school that has kindergarten through seniors all under one roof.

SAGAL: Wow. Well, Lane, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the lyrics, you'll be a big winner. Ready to play?

CHENEY: I think so.

SAGAL: Let's do this. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: In hotel rooms where others cannot cry, I allow my emotions to fly. As blankets envelop, my eyes start to well up. I check it and have a good...

CHENEY: Cry.

SAGAL: Yes. There you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Very good.

SAGAL: Cry.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: For only $85 a night, the Mitsui Garden Hotel in Tokyo is offering special crying-only rooms just for women. The rooms are stocked with everything you need for a night of good crying - tissues, sad movies like "Terms Of Endearment," "Steel Magnolias," and "Cars 2."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But why go all the way to Tokyo and spend all that money when you can have the same tragic ambience at any Motel 6?

PETER GROSZ: Oh, if Tom Bodett was here.

SAGAL: I know. OK, Lane, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: No one else will condemn or condone if I chew all the meat off a bone. I'm offending no group as I'm slurping my soup. No one cares if I'm dining...

CHENEY: Alone.

SAGAL: Right, alone.

KURTIS: Alone.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Lane, good for you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A lot of people, including myself, feel self-conscious dining alone or doing other date-like things on your own. But scientists at the University of Maryland have determined that you shouldn't feel embarrassed because no one even notices you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So not only are you pathetic and alone, you're invisible. Feel better? But really, is there a more perfect romantic evening then going out for dinner by yourself then checking into your own little suite at the crying hotel?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Lane, here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: I'm a killer who swims in the dark. If I could, I'd take walks in the park. I have three rows of teeth, but a heart's underneath. There's a soft, tender side to this...

CHENEY: Shark.

KURTIS: Shark it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Shark, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A new BBC documentary airing this week reveals that great white sharks have a softer side. They're not the big, ferocious killing machines portrayed in movies like "Jaws," "Jaws 2," "Jaws 3D" and "Avengers 3" - now there's a shark in it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the photographer who shot the documentary, the sharks allowed him to swim freely with them without a cage. The photographer said he was looking forward to a new career as a disembodied head floating in the Pacific.

(LAUGHTER)

JESSI KLEIN: Wait, what are they saying about sharks?

SAGAL: Well, they're saying that Great White sharks are actually not the relentless killing machines that we've always thought. That they actually can be friendly and not kill you.

KLEIN: But they might check into a crying hotel.

SAGAL: They might.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Have a good cry.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: They could constantly be crying, and we would never know.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: That is an excellent, excellent point.

SAGAL: Good point. Bill, how did Lane do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Three and oh. Lane, good for you.

SAGAL: Very well done, Lane.

(APPLAUSE)

CHENEY: Thank you very much.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.