Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the Contact Us link on our website - that's waitwait.npr.org. You can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows at the Mann Center in Philadelphia and our upcoming show in Louisville, Ky., on September 3. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

KATHLEEN TAYLOR: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi.

TAYLOR: I'm Kathleen Taylor from the People's Republic of Berkeley.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in that readout of liberalism - excuse me, communism. I don't want to insult you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What do you do there?

TAYLOR: Well, I'm a professor at Saint Mary's College of California.

SAGAL: Oh, and what do you teach?

TAYLOR: I teach about adult learning and the brain.

SAGAL: Really?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, I love that.

SAGAL: Every now and then you hear about, like, exercises you can do for your brain to make yourself smarter. Do any of those work?

TAYLOR: (Laughter) That's not what I teach about. What I'm mostly interested in is how we can become more effective, developed people.

SAGAL: Oh, I see. I'm more interested in just binge-watching Netflix, so never mind.

TAYLOR: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Kathleen, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the big limericks, you will be a winner. Are you ready to play?

TAYLOR: Yes.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: How did I become a rich gringo? I poured plastic in molds and then, bingo. The birds who caught on and graced every lawn. I made the pink plastic...

TAYLOR: Flamingo.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, America lost one of its great innovators, Donald Featherstone, the man who created the pink plastic lawn flamingo. Featherstone died at 79, but he designed the flamingo back in the '50s when his first idea, an actual flamingo you tied to your grass, failed. And he was famous - we actually have mentioned him on the show before because in addition to inventing the plastic pink flamingo, he and his wife dressed exactly alike every day for 50 years.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: True story.

ALONZO BODDEN: Was that her idea?

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: No, because you get to a certain age - and I see this - she did that so she won't lose him.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Like, when he wanders off, people say, oh, you're with her, and they give him back.

SAGAL: Yeah, yeah.

MAZ JOBRANI: Like they're on a tour.

BODDEN: Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: At morning my brain seems too flaccid, too rested, unfocused, too placid. I prefer LSD to coffee or tea. My mind gets more focused with...

TAYLOR: Acid (laughter).

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes, it is. That's for you, Kathleen.

SAGAL: You know this. We've always been told the best way to start the day is with a complete and balanced breakfast. Now scientists say, skip that. Instead, take LSD first thing in the morning.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Apparently small doses of acid increase productivity and give you a burst of energy that lasts throughout the day into the evening, at which point you flip out because of all the pterodactyls.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Don't know about that. We're going to stick to our usual morning pick-me-up - coffee and meth.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: You know what's really bad?

SAGAL: What?

BODDEN: You do a little morning acid and there's no color in your Trix.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, here is your final limerick.

KURTIS: We can't catch each outgoing detail. In heated exchange, is where we fail. Now G-mail's my friend 'cause I can unsend. And take back an impolite...

TAYLOR: Take it back with email.

SAGAL: It's email, yes.

KURTIS: Email it is, yes, indeed. 'Atta girl.

SAGAL: Google is introducing a new feature called Undo Send, gives users time to realize they actually just sent a crotch shot to their whole contact list, rather than the few select colleagues they meant to sexually harass. We've all sent a drunken email we wish we could pull back and while this is great, what we really need are breathalyzers on our computers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You have to unlock them.

BODDEN: You think Anthony Weiner's sitting home saying, yeah now.

SAGAL: Now.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Kathleen do in our quiz?

KURTIS: She is Berkeley proud - three in a row.

SAGAL: Well done. Yay. Thank you, Kathleen. Thank you so much for playing.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.