Nightmares And Darkness Follow Marine Home From Iraq War
StoryCorps' Military Voices Initiative records stories from members of the U.S. military who served in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Marine Cpl. Jeff Lucey deployed to Iraq, where he was a convoy driver, in 2003. His parents, Joyce and Kevin Lucey, drove him to the deployment point in the early hours of the morning.
It was dark, but eerily lit up by the headlights of all the cars dropping off Marines, Kevin recalls with his wife in a StoryCorps interview in Wellesley, Mass.
"I just remember him walking away into the darkness, and the darkness engulfing him," Kevin says. "I had a tremendous fear that was going to be the last time I was going to see my son."
Jeff returned to the U.S. later that year, and though he appeared to be well, something inside him had changed.
Jeff's homecoming was "magnificent," Joyce says, with balloons and a police escort. "But on Christmas Eve, we went to my mom's. He didn't come. His sister went home to see him, and when she got there, he threw his dog tags at her and said, 'Don't you know your brother's nothing but a murderer?' "
Jeff started having nightmares. He kept a flashlight under the bed, and would search his room at night for spiders because he said he could hear them, Joyce says.
He started staying in the house, Kevin says, "and sometimes he would stay just within his room. It was like the perfect storm converged."
About 11:30 p.m. on June 21, 2004, Jeff "came into the front room, and he asked me if he could sit in my lap and if we could rock," Kevin recalls. "Which we did. And I — I wasn't even thinking that this was his way of saying goodbye."
The next day, "when I came back from work, I saw the cellar door open," Kevin continues. "And I saw Jeff hanging from the beam. I went under him and pushed him up, and he was in my lap for the last time."
Jeff was 23.
"He was very social and outgoing, always smiling," Joyce says. "So you just didn't think Jeff would have any problems, you know, dealing with [the] emotional side of war."
"We never saw," Kevin says, "that he was mortally wounded within his spirit."
Audio produced for Weekend Edition Saturday by Liyna Anwar.
StoryCorps is a national nonprofit that gives people the chance to interview friends and loved ones about their lives. These conversations are archived at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress, allowing participants to leave a legacy for future generations. Learn more, including how to interview someone in your life, at StoryCorps.org.
9(MDE1MTIxMDg0MDE0MDQ3NTY3MzkzMzY1NA001))
Transcript
WADE GOODWYN, HOST:
Now another installment from StoryCorps' "Military Voices Initiative" honoring those who served in the post 9-11 conflicts. In the coming weeks leading up to Veterans Day, we'll be listening to the stories of our men and women in uniform and their families - today, Kevin Lucey and his wife Joyce. In 2003, their son, Marine Corporal Jeff Lucey, was deployed to Iraq. He returned to the states later that year. And though he appeared to be well, something inside him had changed. Here Kevin talks with his wife about their son's decline.
KEVIN LUCEY: I can remember that evening on the day of deployment. We drove him - it was about 4:00 in the morning - very dark, but it was eerily lit up with all the headlights of everybody who was dropping off their Marines. And I just remember him walking away into the darkness and the darkness engulfing him. I had a tremendous fear that was going to be the last time I was going to see my son again.
JOYCE LUCEY: He returned and there were balloons. They got an escort from the police. It was magnificent. But on Christmas Eve, we went to my moms. He didn't come. His sister went home to see him and when she got there, he threw his dog tags at her and said, don't you know your brother's nothing but a murderer? And he started having nightmares.
K. LUCEY: I think you found the flashlight underneath his bed.
J. LUCEY: At night, he was searching his room for spiders because he said he could hear them.
K. LUCEY: He started staying within the house. And sometimes he would stay just within his room. It was like the perfect storm converged. On June 21, that evening, about 11:30, he came into the front room and he asked me if he could sit in my lap and if we could rock - which we did. And I - I wasn't even thinking that this was his way of saying goodbye. When I came back from work, I saw the cellar door open. And I saw Jeff hanging from the beam. I went under him and pushed him up and he was in my lap for the last time.
J. LUCEY: You know, he was very social and outgoing, always smiling. And you just didn't think Jeff would have any problems, you know, dealing with the emotional side of war.
K. LUCEY: We never saw that he was mortally wounded within his spirit.
GOODWYN: That was Kevin and Joyce Lucey, remembering their son Marine Corporal Jeff Lucey, who ended his life by suicide a decade ago. Their conversation was recorded in Wellesley, Massachusetts. This interview, like all StoryCorps conversations, will be archived at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress. To hear more stories about the lives of post 9-11 conflict veterans and their families, subscribe to the StoryCorps podcast at iTunes and at NPR.org. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
300x250 Ad
300x250 Ad