Panel Round One

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

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Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Faith, this week we read about a business in North Carolina that unveiled a new slogan and immediately generated all sorts of complaints. The slogan was "Cheat Death." What was the business?

FAITH SALIE: All right. Well, if it were cheat age, it would be a plastic surgeon.

SAGAL: Right, but it isn't.

SALIE: Cheat death. Is it a medical establishment?

SAGAL: It is indeed.

SALIE: It's a hospital.

SAGAL: It is a hospital, yes.

SALIE: OK. Whew.

SAGAL: Hospitals, like any business, are trying to attract new customers. That's why New Caromont Regional Medical Center recently underwent a PR overhaul. On Tuesday, the hospital unveiled its new slogan: Cheat Death.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, locals were threatening to take their dying elsewhere.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The marketing firm hired to overhaul the hospital's image admits it should have gone with one of its other plans to bring in new patients, such as putting smallpox virus in the water.

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: But isn't that the hospital you would go to? Like, if you have an emergency, like, I want to go to the place that cheats death.

SALIE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: What's the objection?

BODDEN: I don't want to go to the place that gives death a fair shot.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You kind of - it's kind of...

BODDEN: I don't want to give death an even chance. I'm willing to - if you're willing to bend the rules, I'll go with you.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Let's cheat on this one and get honest somewhere else.

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