Playground Nationals

Transcript

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: From NPR and WNYC, live from the Bell House in beautiful Brooklyn, New York, it's ASK ME ANOTHER, NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia. Here's your host Ophira Eisenberg.

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Hello. Have you ever wanted a second chance in life? Well, that's not going to happen. But in this show, we have invited back some of our former contestants whose first time on our show didn't go so well. Some of them buckled under the pressure, some of them have problems with the buzzers, some of them just didn't know anything.

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EISENBERG: But they're back, hoping that this time there will be different results, which we all know is the definition of insanity. And I should know - trust me, I went out with four Dave's who were Libras in a row.

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EISENBERG: And we never made it to the final round, lets just say that. Our VIP knows something about comebacks because he's the winner of the 2014 Tony for best revival of a musical. I'm talking about actor, writer and director of "Hedwig And The Angry Inch," John Cameron Mitchell.

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EISENBERG: And say hello to a man who never fails because he barely tries. Our one-man house band, Mr. Jonathan Coulton.

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COULTON: Hello, thank you.

EISENBERG: Our first game is called "Playground Nationals." And here to play it are our first two contestants, Margaret Bortner and Reuben Hampton.

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EISENBERG: Now, Margaret, you played with our VIP Meghan McCain. You were - you were her aide in a game. And as a prize we gave you a Twitter account.

MARGARET BORTNER: Yes, you did.

EISENBERG: #askmemargaret, which started your Twitter career. You're an amazing tweeter. You're very, very funny.

BORTNER: Thank you.

EISENBERG: I follow you, I love it.

BORTNER: Thanks very much.

EISENBERG: So how has life changed since then?

BORTNER: Life has changed probably for a better. I quit a job that I didn't really like and I'm doing fun things, like in the spring I also - I produced a punk rock version of "Richard III," a stage production.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

BORTNER: Yeah.

EISENBERG: That's really cool.

BORTNER: And I'm doing some more writing, so, you know, I'm doing more of my creative side.

EISENBERG: Reuben, you actually did very well in the show. You made it to the final round, but you didn't win the final round. And since that show, you've had some problems with your international image?

REUBEN HAMPTON: Yeah.

EISENBERG: What is that about?

HAMPTON: I kind of said Mumbai was in Saudi Arabia.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And who's been on your back, the people of Mumbai or the people of Saudi Arabia?

HAMPTON: Both.

EISENBERG: Both.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right, well, this is your chance to make that good. So this is what's going to happen - in this game, we're going to give you a description of some traditional children's playground games, but we're going to do in the style of a TV sports announcer. And all you have to do is identify the game.

COULTON: Does that makes sense?

BORTNER: Yes.

COULTON: Yeah, OK.

BORTNER: Yeah.

HAMPTON: Absolutely.

COULTON: (Laughter) But you both seem so sad already.

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EISENBERG: Yeah, what's wrong?

BORTNER: No, I'm excited.

COULTON: It's your second chance, man.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: The winner will move on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

EISENBERG: The ref signals and the tunes start blasting. They're circling, they're circling. Two players, one seat. Now the song has stopped and the sit is good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Reuben?

HAMPTON: Duck, Duck, Goose?

COULTON: Sorry, that is in Saudi Arabia.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Margaret, can you steal?

BORTNER: Musical Chairs.

EISENBERG: Musical Chairs.

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COULTON: She's rounding the circle, holding her hand for her trademarked extra second above each player's head. Looks like she's about to say - and yes, she has picked and they are off.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Margaret.

BORTNER: Duck, Duck, Goose.

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COULTON: Ironically, you are correct, yes. Shake it off, Reuben.

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EISENBERG: To be fair, they're both games of, like, can I just sit down already? The teams have formed the chains. They're gripping hands trying to be unbreakable. The captain is searching for the weakest link, and now they're chanting send Coulton right over.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Reuben?

HAMPTON: Red Rover, Red Rover?

EISENBERG: Yes.

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EISENBERG: By the way, I don't know you guys said - I mean, I'm saying it how the clue is written, but in Canada we said please - we're like please send Jonathon over.

COULTON: Did you apologize after you asked?

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EISENBERG: No, but we did wear hockey masks.

COULTON: The beanbag is in play. I have never seen throwing this fast. They are really moving that spud. Now they've stopped and I can't believe it, Pliska is holding that toasty tuber. He's out.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Reuben.

HAMPTON: Hot Potato?

COULTON: Yeah.

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EISENBERG: In Canada...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...The potato was just cold.

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EISENBERG: This is your last question. His teammates in jail behind enemy lines. And here he comes, sneaking in for the rescue - but no, he grabbed the pennant instead. A classic fake-out, perfectly executed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Margaret.

BORTNER: Capture The Flag?

EISENBERG: Capture The Flag is correct.

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EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Greg Pliska, how did our contestants do?

GREG PLISKA: Well, it's great to see you both back with us, Reuben and Margaret. Margaret, congratulations, you'll be moving on to the final round at the end of the show.

EISENBERG: Well done.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.