Schaaps' Family Feud

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's welcome New York Times drink columnist, Rosie Schaap and ESPN correspondent and host, Jeremy Schaap.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: So very competitive home growing up?

JEREMY SCHAAP: No.

EISENBERG: No?

SCHAAP: No. I won everything.

EISENBERG: Oh, really?

SCHAAP: Especially the affection of our parents.

ROSIE SCHAAP: Absolutely. No - I was saying, you know, it was scary to come here and face my brother, who is the overachiever in the family. And I'm definitely the underachiever in the family. But mom and dad always liked him better, anyway. So I have nothing to lose.

SCHAAP: For good reason. I mean...

SCHAAP: (Laughter) That's true. Jeremy was a much...

SCHAAP: No. This is all - this isn't real. We're just kidding.

EISENBERG: Sure, yeah. Did you guys play board games and stuff like that?

SCHAAP: A little.

EISENBERG: Was there some Scrabble?

SCHAAP: Nope.

SCHAAP: She's the Scrabble person.

EISENBERG: I can tell it was just head games at home. That's what you played.

SCHAAP: No. I was actually told Scrabble was forbidden in our family because our father was so competitive at it.

EISENBERG: Oh. So...

SCHAAP: Oh, is that true? I never heard that.

SCHAAP: That's what I heard. I didn't play Scrabble until college.

SCHAAP: He was good at it, too.

SCHAAP: Yeah, yeah. He was very good.

SCHAAP: He was good. I think he actually paid his way through college playing poker, though. Not - probably not scrabble for money, but he was at good games.

SCHAAP: He was good at games.

EISENBERG: You mean gambling?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: OK. So - this is a very fun game. It's called - we titled it Schaaps' Family Feud or, I guess, as you guys called it growing up - Monday through Sunday.

SCHAAP: Yeah.

EISENBERG: What we did was we surveyed a hundred of our loyal ASK ME ANOTHER listeners. So put yourself in that mindset. We're talking like smart, puzzle and comedy nerds. They probably host their own podcasts, you know, those people.

SCHAAP: Well-adjusted.

EISENBERG: And we've - we quizzed them on a wide range of holiday topics.

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: Right. And here's how it's going to work. We're looking for the most popular answer from our listeners. After Ophira reads the question, whoever buzzes in first, gets the first guess. But the other sibling gets to guess, too. And whoever guesses the more popular answer, gets a point.

SCHAAP: Do you remember how mom wanted to go on "Family Feud"?

SCHAAP: She loved "Family Feud."

SCHAAP: She did.

SCHAAP: She loved Richard Dawson.

SCHAAP: She did.

SCHAAP: The game. No, this is going to be great.

EISENBERG: No, wait a second. Your mother wanted to have the whole family on "Family Feud"?

SCHAAP: Well, I mean, our family was small. So it was going to be Jeremy, me, mom and our neighbors, Nick and Ray, who wore a lot of leather.

SCHAAP: We lived in...

SCHAAP: It was a meatpacking district family.

SCHAAP: Yeah.

EISENBERG: OK. So here we go. So we asked our listeners, name an activity you like to do in the snow. So you are going to ring in.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Rosie. And you...

SCHAAP: Sled.

EISENBERG: Sled? What do you say, Jeremy?

SCHAAP: I'm assuming - have intercourse.

(LAUGHTER)

SCHAAP: This is a family show, Jeremy.

CHUNG: Surprisingly, intercourse was not one of the answers.

SCHAAP: That's what everybody likes to do anywhere.

EISENBERG: I told you to put yourself in the mindset of our listeners.

SCHAAP: I'm so uncomfortable right now.

EISENBERG: People that host their own podcast do not have intercourse.

(LAUGHTER)

CHUNG: Rosie gets the point. That was our number two most popular answer. The number one most popular answer was snow angels.

EISENBERG: What?

SCHAAP: I think that's a euphemism.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: We asked our listeners, name a living actor or actress that you wish would come over for holiday dinner.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SCHAAP: I don't know, George Clooney? He's alive.

EISENBERG: OK.

CHUNG: George Clooney's on the list.

EISENBERG: He's on the list. Jeremy?

SCHAAP: Jennifer Lawrence.

CHUNG: Yes. Jennifer Lawrence is number two.

SCHAAP: Thank you. I'm more in touch with the people.

SCHAAP: No doubt about that.

EISENBERG: Number one, though, was Benedict Cumberbatch.

SCHAAP: What?

EISENBERG: We asked our listeners, name an adjective that you'd use to describe an eldest sibling.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SCHAAP: Bossy.

EISENBERG: That was Jeremy that rang in but...

SCHAAP: Talk about bossy. What would it be?

SCHAAP: You ring in, and you don't have an answer?

SCHAAP: Oh, I have to think of what they would say about an eldest sibling. OK. I see - domineering.

EISENBERG: Domineering? Are you sticking with bossy?

SCHAAP: I'm sticking with bossy.

CHUNG: The number one answer was bossy.

SCHAAP: But - all right.

SCHAAP: He's going to say but that is domineering. It's the same.

SCHAAP: I'm just going to say I thought - I thought the buzzer meant something. But, apparently, it doesn't.

EISENBERG: It did.

SCHAAP: OK.

EISENBERG: We asked our listeners, name the dumbest Winter Olympic sport.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Jeremy.

SCHAAP: Curling - sorry.

SCHAAP: Sorry, Canada.

EISENBERG: Rosie, do you want to chime in with a possible answer?

SCHAAP: I was going to say that, too. Yeah, curling kind of is the first to come to mind there - sorry, Canada.

CHUNG: Forty-eight percent said curling. That's the right answer.

SCHAAP: What's second? Is it ice dancing?

CHUNG: Biathlon.

SCHAAP: Really?

SCHAAP: Biathlon is a wonderful sport.

EISENBERG: We asked our listeners, what was a gift you wished you'd get as a kid but never received? I know.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SCHAAP: What would they say?

SCHAAP: He rings in with no answer.

SCHAAP: Raggedy Ann.

EISENBERG: OK. Fine.

SCHAAP: I don't know.

EISENBERG: Fine. Rosie?

SCHAAP: I'm going to say a sort of hopeless wish would be a pony.

CHUNG: Pony was number two on the list. So congratulations.

EISENBERG: Art, how'd they do?

CHUNG: They did amazing. And Rosie snuck through, and she won.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Thank you so much, Jeremy Schaap, Rosie Schaap.

SCHAAP: This was very traumatic. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.