TV Movies

Transcript

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: From NPR and WNYC, live from the Bell House in beautiful Brooklyn, N.Y., it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia, ASK ME ANOTHER. Here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Thank you, Jonathan. Now if you're a Broadway fan, you know our VIP as Sebastian the Crab. But comedy nerds like me know him as D'Fwan from "30 Rock," a character who describes himself not only as a gay hairdresser but also a homosexual party planner.

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EISENBERG: This is my idea of a party. I've realized what it is. It's me, a bottle of Pinot Grigio and a night of replying to emails.

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EISENBERG: But back to the life of our party. His latest project is the new Tina Fey Netflix series, "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt." It's Tituss Burgess.

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EISENBERG: We'll be talking to Tituss later in the show. But first, let me introduce our house musician, Jonathan Coulton.

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COULTON: Hello, everybody.

EISENBERG: And our first game is called TV Movies. And here to play it are Elyse Endick and Jessica Minnen.

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EISENBERG: Elyse, you want to be a film TV writer.

ELYSE ENDICK: Yes.

EISENBERG: But you also claim to have terrible tastes...

ENDICK: Awful taste.

EISENBERG: ...In TV and movies.

ENDICK: Yes, horrible taste.

EISENBERG: OK, that's interesting.

ENDICK: My favorite movies...

EISENBERG: Yeah.

ENDICK: ...Of all time - all time...

EISENBERG: OK.

ENDICK: ...One-hundred percent, the Star Wars prequels.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: The prequels.

ENDICK: The prequels. Yeah, especially "Episode II." That one's really good - "Episode I" as well - all really good.

EISENBERG: What is it that you like so much about "Episode II"?

ENDICK: It's not the acting.

(LAUGHTER)

ENDICK: I don't know. It's just so magical.

EISENBERG: OK.

ENDICK: I get this really warm feeling inside.

EISENBERG: Jessica, a music journalist turned rabbi...

JESSICA MINNEN: That happened.

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EISENBERG: Yeah. Do you ever sing or use non-traditional music in your services?

MINNEN: All the time. I routinely set prayers and liturgy to pop songs. I'm a big fan of Leonard Cohen. I often do "Hallelujah" to "Hallelujah."

EISENBERG: Yeah.

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EISENBERG: Yeah. Do you like TV movies? Do you have a favorite TV movie?

ENDICK: TV movies? I'm embarrassed to admit it. I don't even have cable.

EISENBERG: Wow.

ENDICK: Yeah.

EISENBERG: That's very hip, by the way.

ENDICK: I don't have a television.

EISENBERG: Sure you do. Jessica, TV movie?

MINNEN: "The Thorn Birds," obviously.

EISENBERG: "The Thorn" - obviously. I'm sorry. I heard...

ENDICK: That's a miniseries, actually.

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MINNEN: That's it. I'm done.

COULTON: Somebody just went to school.

EISENBERG: So in this game, we are actually going to create some TV movies by combining the names of famous movies and television programs together into one mashed-up title.

COULTON: So if we said it's the story of Stephen Hawking's 20-something years with fellow science nerds Leonard and Sheldon, that would be The Big Bang Theory of Everything. Do you see what I did there?

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EISENBERG: So the movie and the TV show are going to share a key word. Sometimes the movie will start the answer. Sometimes it will end it. And the winner will, of course, move on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Let's give it a shot.

CIA agent played by Jessica Chastain hunts down the perpetrator of the 9/11 attacks and winds up interrogating frazzled TV comedy show-runner Liz Lemon. Waterboarding has never been more hilarious.

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EISENBERG: Jessica.

MINNEN: Zero Dark 30 Rock?

EISENBERG: Yeah. That is correct.

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EISENBERG: Amy Poehler plays a small-town government official struggling with life, love and an island where dinosaurs are alive but funding is extinct.

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EISENBERG: Jessica.

MINNEN: Parks and Recreation for All?

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COULTON: Ha.

EISENBERG: That was an alternate title for that show. But not the answer we're looking for. Elyse.

ENDICK: I was going to go with something like Parks and Recreation and Jurassic Park, but that doesn't...

EISENBERG: Well, yeah, it doesn't, does it?

COULTON: It's a good idea.

ENDICK: It doesn't make a lot of sense.

EISENBERG: That is a good idea. Remember, it can go - they share a word, and...

ENDICK: Oh, right.

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COULTON: I don't know how to help you exactly, Elyse.

ENDICK: Jurassic Park and Recreation.

EISENBERG: Yes.

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EISENBERG: Libertarians. That does sound like a dinosaur. Does everyone agree with that? That does sound like a type of dinosaur.

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COULTON: Libertarian. That was the one with the big bill?

EISENBERG: Yeah, the big bill. Right, exactly - vegetarian. In this ill-advised odd-couple story, John Belushi's drunken frat boy, Bluto, gets a new roommate, ruthless frat president Frank Underwood. Pledging requires pushing someone in front of a train.

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EISENBERG: Jessica.

MINNEN: Animal House of Cards?

EISENBERG: Yes, exactly.

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EISENBERG: You take a drink every time Frank looks into the camera with that...

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EISENBERG: Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon headline this acclaimed but oddly redundant AMC series about zombies and the death penalty, where their last meal is always brains.

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EISENBERG: Jessica.

MINNEN: Dead Man Walking Dead?

EISENBERG: Puzzle Guru Art Chung, can we accept that?

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: We'll accept that.

EISENBERG: We'll accept that? OK, yeah. Dead Man Walking Dead.

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CHUNG: It could go both ways. We'll also accept The Walking Dead Man Walking.

EISENBERG: Oh, great.

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COULTON: It's hard to believe there were two answers to that question. That's very interesting, well-written.

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EISENBERG: America Ferrera's job at a fashion magazine gets complicated when a feud about ponchos leads to her getting shot in the gut by cowboy Clint Eastwood.

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EISENBERG: Elyse.

ENDICK: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Betty.

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EISENBERG: Exactly, yes. This is your last clue. Bear with me. (Singing) Now, this is a story all about how Will Smith's life got flipped turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute - just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became friends with a dog that's very good at playing basketball.

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EISENBERG: Elyse.

ENDICK: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air - oh, the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Dog.

(BOOING)

EISENBERG: Dog is not correct.

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EISENBERG: Jessica.

MINNEN: I can't believe this is going to serve me so well. But the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Bud.

EISENBERG: Yes.

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ENDICK: Oh, fudge. It's about a dog.

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EISENBERG: Why did that serve you particularly well?

MINNEN: I saw it in the theaters.

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EISENBERG: And at the time, you were like, is this money ever going to return itself to me?

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MINNEN: And look.

EISENBERG: And there - here we are. Puzzle guru Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

CHUNG: Oh, what a heartbreaking finish, but Jessica, congratulations. You're moving on to our Ask Me One More final round.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.