What Is Jeopardy?

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

For a game titled What Is Jeopardy?, let's welcome Russ Bird and Valerie Lores.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Now, Russ, you said your wife put you up to this.

VALERIE BIRD: That is correct.

EISENBERG: What does that mean exactly?

BIRD: That means that if I don't win, I'm walking home.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: She said, Russ, you have to go get on that show, you're great at this.

BIRD: Yeah, she's out here supporting me right now.

EISENBERG: Nice. OK, so you're not here by your own volition by any means?

BIRD: No, none not at all.

EISENBERG: Blink if you need help.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Valerie, on the other hand, loves game shows and true crime stories. And I quote, "if I wanted to, I could kill my boyfriend and no one would know."

(LAUGHTER)

VALERIE LORES: (Laughter) OK, I don't think I said that exactly. I said that I could kill him and leave no evidence.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah, very different.

LORES: It's very different.

EISENBERG: More calculated - your way is more calculated.

LORES: Yeah.

EISENBERG: So how you going to do it?

LORES: Well, I can't say because he's here.

EISENBERG: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

LORES: Yeah.

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Jeez.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Anybody else feeling a sort of icy chill in their spine?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I like that - that's the only reason...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: What's his name?

LORES: Bill.

EISENBERG: Bill?

LORES: Mmhmm.

EISENBERG: Good luck, Bill.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So many of our contestants have made the mistake of answering our questions in the form of a question, clearly because they hear that warm Canadian lilt in my voice and it reminds them of my fellow countryman, Alex Trebek, host of "Jeopardy!" But this time, we want you to answer the questions in the form of a question because all of the answers are going to begin with the phrase, what is?

COULTON: So if we said, this 1950s game show was hosted by John Charles Daly and originally called "Occupation Unknown," you would do your best "Jeopardy!" contestant impression and you would answer - "What Is My line?"

EISENBERG: So take out the apostrophe if required to make it a jeo-parody.

(CHEERING)

EISENBERG: Yes, indeed. And the winner will move on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Your category is this dying planet. Rolling Stones' review of this 1971 album by Marvin Gaye referred to the song "Mercy, Mercy Me" as one of the most bearable ecology songs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Valerie.

LORES: "What Is Going On."

EISENBERG: Sure is.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Next category - mergers and acquisitions. In 2014, Facebook paid $19 billion to acquire this smartphone app that allows you unlimited messaging with your friends.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Russ.

BIRD: WhatsApp?

COULTON: Will you please phrase it in the form of a "Jeopardy!" question?

BIRD: What is WhatsApp?

COULTON: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Take out the contraction.

(LAUGHTER)

LORES: Wait, I thought I could ring in.

COULTON: No.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: "Jeopardy!'s" really hard to run.

COULTON: I noticed.

(LAUGHTER)

LORES: How many chances are you giving him?

COULTON: Well, he's got...

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: He's got it right.

COULTON: Valerie, just let me do this, OK?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Jonathan Coulton disappears after the show.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRD: Do not mess with Valerie.

COULTON: I'm just trying to get the right style points so it sounds good for the radio. Russ, say this - what is App? Say that.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRD: What is App?

COULTON: That's correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Our next category is movies from 1993.

(LAUGHTER)

LORES: OK.

COULTON: Very specific category. This film earned Leonardo DiCaprio his first Oscar nomination.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Russ.

BIRD: "What Is Eating Gilbert Grape?"

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

LORES: That was a good one.

(SOUNDBITE OF DAILY DOUBLE)

EISENBERG: Oh, we've got a daily double.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Not really. We just wanted to play that. In this 2010 song, Rihanna and Drake ask an important existential question, one that we just answered.

COULTON: It starts with, what is.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru?

CHUNG: (Laughter) What kind of...

EISENBERG: Can you give us a hint?

CHUNG: In "Monty Python And The Holy Grail..."

(LAUGHTER)

CHUNG: Stay with me. It's the question that precedes, what is your quest?

(LAUGHTER)

CHUNG: Yeah, nevermind.

EISENBERG: No, no, no. I've got a good one.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I've got a good one. I've got a good one. In the sequel to the movie - no, I'm just kidding. No more. The answer that we were looking for - any last moments?

BIRD: What is your name?

CHUNG: We'll take it, we'll take that (laughter).

EISENBERG: We'll take it.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRD: Oh, man.

COULTON: What is my name? We'll take that.

EISENBERG: What is my name? What's my name?

COULTON: All right.

EISENBERG: All right.

LORES: OK.

CHUNG: Moving on.

COULTON: Great job, everybody.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's not your fault; this is our fault. This is what we're finding out. This is our fault.

CHUNG: Is it?

COULTON: "Potpourri"...

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: ...This 1960 - this 1965 film marked Woody Allen's screenwriting debut and featured a Tom Jones song of the same name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Valerie.

LORES: "What Is New Pussycat?"

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Art Chung?

CHUNG: Hi, Ophira.

EISENBERG: How's it going over there?

CHUNG: What is we are never playing this game again?

(LAUGHTER)

CHUNG: Well, it was a tough game, but congratulations, Russ. You're moving on to the final round.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WHAT'S MY NAME")

RIHANNA: (Singing) Oh, na, na, what's my name? Oh, na, na, what's my name? Oh, na, na, what's my name? Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.