The art of letter writing is not dead.
Rachel Syme, a New Yorker staff writer, learned that during the early days of the pandemic. Longing for human connection, she asked her followers on social media if anyone wanted to be her pen pal.
"I got 300 responses," she says. She couldn't possibly write to everyone, so she created a letter-exchanging program called PenPalooza to "connect all these people to one another." It now has more than 10,000 members.
Those efforts kickstarted a letter-writing routine that Syme says continues to bring her great joy. "I'm constantly being surprised by what shows up in my mailbox. Creative expressions, intimacies, honesty and beautiful writing."
They also inspired her to write Syme's Letter Writer: A Guide to Modern Correspondence, published in January. The book offers tips on how to find a penpal and write a delightful dispatch — and includes letters from famous writers like Octavia Butler and Zelda Fitzgerald for inspiration.
Syme shares practical and whimsical advice on how to start an epistolary habit.
❓You don't need to look too far to find a penpal. Start with family and friends. If you're looking to get to know new people, ask your social media followers if they want a letter from you. Make a post along the lines of, "Hey, I'd love to write you a letter," and see what kind of response you get, Syme says. "You'd be surprised how far that will take you."
🌨️ Don't be afraid to write about the weather. A lot of people begin their letters with the weather and apologize because they think it's a "boring" topic, Syme says — but talking about the sunshine or the rain showers can be very telling. According to South African novelist Bessie Head, whom Syme quotes in her book, "The mood of the weather began to explain many other things for me. I think the mind picks on anything to explain the brooding of the heart."
🗓️ Letters don't always have to be life updates. Try a writing prompt instead, Syme says. What's your favorite life hack? What was your most extravagant impulse purchase? Or get creative. Draw a map of a stroll you often take through your neighborhood, with descriptions of your favorite memories in each place. Make your own Mad Libs for the recipient to fill out. You can also skip writing and send Polaroids of snapshots from your life, or personal recipes.
🎁 Sneak gifts into your letters. Think of flat things you can fit into your envelope, like stickers, pressed flowers, tea bags, paper incense, lottery tickets and iron-on patches, Syme says. Just make sure you're not mailing matchbooks or other prohibited items. You can find a full list here.
📜 The sky's the limit when it comes to paper. Syme has used postcards, vintage hotel stationery and pink legal paper ("because Jacqueline Susann, who wrote Valley of the Dolls, always wrote on pink notepads," she says) to write letters. Other unexpected options: paper napkins, recycled paper from work or tissue paper from a gift bag.
✨ Consider a typewriter. Syme says if your wrists need a break, you have poor handwriting or just want to avoid screens in this process, a typewriter can help. "Once you feel the keys crunch under your fingers, it's hard to go back."
📸 Take photos of the letters you send. When you write letters, you're creating an archive, Syme says. But "what's funny is you can't really see the archive you're creating together with the person you wrote letters to." So Syme says you might consider snapping photos of your letters to keep a personal record of your correspondence.
🌇 Some correspondences may fade away, and that's OK. While writing a letter to someone can feel exciting at first, and a correspondence may last months, years or even a lifetime, inevitably they will come to an end, Syme says. Relationships change over time, and there's no point in being penpals if one or both parties aren't fully committed to it.
If you don't hear from someone, remember that "correspondence is a leap of faith, and that is part of what makes it wonderful," Syme says. "You may never know if the person you are writing to will write you back."
This episode of Life Kit was produced by Sam Yellowhorse Kesler. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual producer is Beck Harlan.
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