Breakups suck.
But breaking up can be even harder when you still have to work together.
That was the situation singer Maria Zardoya and producer Josh Conway found themselves in.
They’re a part of the psychedelic-soul band called The Marías.
They founded the group as a couple.
But the two have since broken up romantically. Musically, they are still writing songs and performing together. And they have a new album out: Submarine.
“This is the first project that we write together where we're not romantically together,” Zardoya told NPR’s A Martínez. “Honestly, it was probably the easiest project to write together.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
A Martínez: So is it fair to say that with Submarine, your break up led to a creative breakthrough?
Conway: Yeah, I think so. I think the album is pretty good. There are definitely creative breakthrough moments that I feel like we went through.
Zardoya: I think the creative breakthrough honestly came from, you know, now we're individuals. We have our own individual lives. It's not like this codependent sort of relationship that happens when you do so much together. And we got to know ourselves. And I think that ultimately led to, like, more creativity and to your point of creative breakthrough moments individually, within ourselves.
Martínez: So Gwen Stefani, the lead singer of No Doubt, was in a relationship with her bassist, Tony Kanal. He broke up with Gwen and then they started working on Tragic Kingdom, the mega incredible album from No Doubt. Gwen Stefani says that the breakup led to her being creatively just wide open.
Zardoya: Definitely. We were watching this No Doubt documentary the other day and there were so many parallels with what Gwen and Tony went through and kind of what Josh and I went through. I was like, ‘Wait, what?’ And then, the next segment would happen, we'd be like, ‘Wait, what?’ But the only thing that we know how to do as writers and artists is just create from that level of pain. Because I think that ultimately leads to discovering what it is that you're feeling.
Martínez: Maria, you said that when you wrote “Run Your Mouth”, you were “conflict avoidant” at the time. I love that phrase. What does that mean?
Zardoya: I just didn't want conflict. I wanted everything to be okay all the time. And I realized that's not the best way to go about life. And I think trying to avoid it almost makes it, like, even more present. I think this past year especially, I've just tried to train myself to be okay with discomfort. I've been doing cold plunges and saunas and acceptance therapy. All of these things, you know, to sort of be like, ‘okay, yes, life is uncomfortable and that's okay.’
Conway: Also “Run Your Mouth” was written pretty shortly after we initially broke up. So it makes sense why being conflict avoidant during that time was where your head was at.
Martínez: Were you walking on eggshells around each other?
Conway: I wouldn't say walking on eggshells. It was more just like…
Zardoya: Survival mode.
Conway: By the time we had broken up, it wasn't it wasn't a surprise to us at that moment. But we didn't really get much time to experience life separately after breaking up. Yeah, it was a delicate time, for sure.
Martínez: So if this album Submarine becomes your Tragic Kingdom, how will you look back on how the breakup went and what happened after?
Conway: I don't think the success or failure of the album will affect how the breakup felt. I don't think either of us thought or knew how the breakup was going to go. Like, will we be able to do this? In the beginning, it didn't seem like it. But once we learned who each other were as individuals, that made it very easy.
Zardoya: Yeah, definitely.
The broadcast version of this interview was edited by Barry Gordemer.
Transcript
A MARTÍNEZ, HOST:
The psychedelic soul band The Marias use dreamy music to sing in both English and Spanish.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "AY NO PUEDO")
THE MARIAS: (Singing in Spanish).
MARTÍNEZ: The Marias are named after their lead singer, Maria Zardoya. She founded the band with producer Josh Conway. Their musical relationship wound up turning into a romantic one.
MARIA ZARDOYA: I was just playing a show, me and a guitar, and Josh was running sound. And he came up to me and was like, hey, I really like your voice, and I love your songs. And, you know, I have a studio - like, do you want to come record?
MARTÍNEZ: It wasn't a creepy kind of...
ZARDOYA: No, not at all. I found it really charming.
JOSHUA CONWAY: I can't believe I had the courage, but it was...
ZARDOYA: (Laughter).
CONWAY: ...The first second of her singing was like, whoa.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "AY NO PUEDO")
THE MARIAS: (Singing in Spanish).
CONWAY: We moved in together pretty quickly. I mean, we were sort of living together after, like, a year. And after that, it was pretty fluid to just make music and date and not have many complications.
MARTÍNEZ: Ah, but there were complications - the two have since broken up romantically. Musically, though, they're still writing songs and performing together. Awkward? Well, maybe not because, tomorrow, they have a new album out. It's called "Submarine."
(SOUNDBITE OF THE MARIAS' "LOVE YOU ANYWAY")
ZARDOYA: This is the first project that we write together where we're not romantically together, and honestly, it was probably the easiest project to write together, I think because we didn't have, like - we didn't bring into the studio things from, like, our romantic relationship. I think it was easier. Josh, what do you think?
CONWAY: So much easier. It was night and day. We didn't bring any resentments from earlier that day. You know, if we were living together and in a relationship, there would be resentments, as there always are, but the studio felt like a really - a real safe space.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LOVE YOU ANYWAY")
THE MARIAS: (Singing) Maybe I may never find the words to say, wait another lifetime so that I could stay.
MARTÍNEZ: So is it fair to say that, with "Submarine," that your breakup led to a creative breakthrough?
CONWAY: Yeah, I think so. I think the album's pretty good.
(LAUGHTER)
CONWAY: There were definitely moments - there were definitely creative breakthrough moments that I feel like we went through.
ZARDOYA: Yeah. And I think the creative breakthrough, honestly, came from - you know, now we're, like, individuals. We have our own individual lives. It's not like this codependent sort of relationship that happens, like, when you do so much together. And we got to know ourselves, and I think that ultimately led to, like, more creativity and to, like, your point of, like, creative breakthrough moments individually - like, within ourselves.
MARTÍNEZ: So Gwen Stefani, the lead singer of No Doubt, was in a relationship with their bassist, Tony Kanal. He broke up with Gwen, and then they started working on "Tragic Kingdom"...
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DON'T SPEAK")
NO DOUBT: (Singing) Don't speak. I know just what you're sayin'.
MARTÍNEZ: ...The mega, incredible album from No Doubt, and Gwen Stefani says that the breakup led to her being creatively just wide open.
ZARDOYA: Definitely, yeah. We were watching, like, this No Doubt documentary the other day, and there were so many parallels with, like, what Gwen and Tony went through and kind of what Josh and I went through. I was like, wait, what? You know, and then, like, the next segment would happen, and we'd be like, wait, what? But the only thing that, like, we know how to do as writers and artists is just create from that level of pain because I think that ultimately, like, leads to discovering, like, what it is that you're feeling.
MARTÍNEZ: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "RUN YOUR MOUTH")
THE MARIAS: (Singing) You'd just call me out, call me when I'm distant. Always run your mouth. I don't want to listen. You're on my case.
MARTÍNEZ: Maria, you said that "Run Your Mouth" - it's one of the first songs you wrote for this album - you said that you were conflict-avoidant at the time.
ZARDOYA: (Laughter).
MARTÍNEZ: I love that phrase.
ZARDOYA: Yes.
MARTÍNEZ: What does that mean, conflict-avoidant?
ZARDOYA: (Laughter) I just didn't want conflict. I wanted everything to be OK all the time, and I realized, like, that's not the best way to go about life, and I think trying to avoid it almost makes it, like, even more present.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "RUN YOUR MOUTH")
THE MARIAS: (Singing) When we talk about everything that happened, rather sit around. Don't need another lesson.
ZARDOYA: So I think, like, this past year especially, I've just tried to, like, train myself to be OK with discomfort. Like, I've been doing cold plunges and, like, saunas...
MARTÍNEZ: (Laughter).
ZARDOYA: ...And then just acceptance therapy and, like, all these things, you know, to sort of be like, OK, yes, life is uncomfortable, and that's OK.
CONWAY: Also, "Run Your Mouth" was written pretty shortly after we initially broke up, so it makes sense why being conflict-avoidant during that time was where your head was at.
MARTÍNEZ: But were you walking on eggshells around each other?
CONWAY: It wasn't - I wouldn't say walking on eggshells. It was more just like...
ZARDOYA: Survival mode.
CONWAY: (Laughter) Yeah.
ZARDOYA: (Laughter).
CONWAY: Like, let's just, like, get through this before we - I mean, by the time we had broken up, we had already, you know - it wasn't a surprise to us at that moment, but we didn't really get much time to experience life separately after breaking up. Yeah, it was a delicate time, for sure.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PARANOIA")
THE MARIAS: (Singing) It's Valentine's Day in the city.
MARTÍNEZ: So if this album, "Submarine," becomes your "Tragic Kingdom," how will you look back on how the breakup went and what happened after?
CONWAY: I don't think the success or failure of the album will affect...
ZARDOYA: (Laughter).
CONWAY: ...How the breakup felt. I don't think either of us thought or knew how the breakup was going to go - like, will we be able to do this? In the beginning, it didn't seem like it. But once we learned who each other were as individuals, it made it very easy.
ZARDOYA: Yeah, definitely.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PARANOIA")
THE MARIAS: (Singing) If, in the morning, I am with you...
MARTÍNEZ: That's Josh Conway and Maria Zardoya of The Marias. Their new album is called "Submarine." Josh, Maria - thank you very much.
CONWAY: Thank you so much. Thanks for having us.
ZARDOYA: Thank you so much.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PARANOIA")
THE MARIAS: (Singing) Why do you think I have another when you have always been the one? Your paranoia is annoying. Now all I want to do is run... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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