Looking for a comfort watch? Turn on baseball, our pop culture critic says

Look, I love The Bear, but it's not relaxing. I like true crime documentaries, but sometimes they make me want to live inside a locked safe. And I love a love story, but kissing isn't for everybody. So what's been my comfort watch this summer in a world of endless auteur options and on-demand productions?

Baseball.

Tuesday night is the All-Star Game, where the best players from the American and National Leagues face off against each other. It's a chance to see a lot of excellent players at once, and perhaps you can use it to kick off your own (Very) Hot Baseball Summer. Why should you do this?

1. Baseball games are manageably low-stakes.

I am writing this the day after my own beloved team, the Philadelphia Phillies (who have the best record in baseball), lost to the Oakland A's (who have one of the worst records in baseball). It was not a squeaker; we lost 18-3. I did not despair, however, because we play 162 regular-season games. No single regular-season game will ruin the season, even if you lose by a couple of touchdowns.

2. They made it faster!

Baseball has a reputation for being leisurely. Or, boring. I consider this a strength, because when it's 100 degrees outside and the humidity is like a tropical forest enclosure at the zoo, my own pace is slow. I don't crave nonstop action. But if you like things speedier, the new pitch clock and limits on pickoff attempts mean there's less waiting around. Perhaps it makes it a little harder on the organists who play "duh-duh-duh-duh da-duuuh, CHARGE!", but every advance involves sacrifice.

3. Shohei Ohtani.

There was, for decades, a widespread suspicion that we might never again see an elite hitter who was also an elite pitcher. And then Shohei Ohtani showed up, and he is both. Unfortunately, due to an elbow injury, he's not pitching this year; he's the Dodgers' designated hitter. But he may pitch next year, and even if he doesn't, he's great fun to watch, and not only because the Dodgers are paying him $700 million over ten years, so, you know. Expectations are high. He's a historic player, no matter what. (In general, it's tremendous when pitchers hit. Ask Bartolo Colón, who hit his first home run for the Mets when he was 42 years old.)

4. Power has shifted.

Any sport needs some shuffling of teams, or it gets boring. Both the Red Sox and the Cubs, perhaps baseball's most famous misery factories, have won the World Series in the modern era. And this season, the Milwaukee Brewers and the Cleveland Guardians — not exactly perennial powerhouses — are both strong. Most importantly, the Yankees are not all that good (particularly at the moment), and that makes any season more interesting and open.

5. Don't have a team? Borrow mine!

The other night, I watched the Phillies win, and during a postgame interview with outfielder Brandon Marsh, a couple of his teammates threw their drinks on him — no big deal, happens all the time. But then they handed him an Uncrustable, which he tore into like a lion while chatting with the announcers. Anybody can get Gatorade over his head; who eats an Uncrustable? There's another clip of him being asked who would be in the rock band if the Phillies started one, and what it would be called. He names some guys, and then he says the band name would be Stay Loose and Sexy, Baby. This makes no sense, but it looks great on a shirt. How do I know? Obviously because I have said shirt!

My team is odd and funny and full of personality — and they're good, too. If you haven't ever watched much baseball and you're willing to give it a try, or if you've drifted from it and you want to come back, why not just borrow my great team? I mean, the Phillies’ “himbo culture” – including the way they wear their shirts – has even been the subject of an investigation. They've got to be doing something right.