Support Group Helps Families Cope With Opioid Deaths

This coming Tuesday, the not-for-profit  Hospice and Palliative Care of Greensboro (HPCG) will present a panel presentation led by parents who have lost loved ones to drug overdose.

Every day, nearly 150 Americans die from drug overdose. In North Carolina, opioid related deaths have risen more than 70 percent in a decade, with Triad counties among the most affected. When counselors at HPCG began seeing a sharp rise in the numbers of families dealing with the loss of an adult child through overdose, they established a support group to address parents' specific needs.

Bereavement counselor Mary Easton says the stigma surrounding addiction can be isolating for family members.

“During the addiction while their child is alive, many of these families have to keep these things very secret,” says Easton. “The other tough area is in feeling like they didn't help their loved one enough, or they helped them too much. They took that tough love approach and kept their loved one at a distance, and yet they may have provided a lot of funding for their loved one which in turn went to substances, and that's how they died.”

Randy Abbott lost his daughter Vanessa to heroin overdose. He calls the support group sessions led by Easton “exhausting” and invaluable to him as he continues working his way through the grieving process.

“People who have been there—here, where we are—get it. There is just an instantaneous sympathy or bond or understanding that's held among us who have lost a child,” says Abbott. “I don't know that it can be put into words. You know a lot of us say that we're in a fraternity that nobody wants to join.”

The support groups meet once a month. While each session tends to be free form, the ground rules are consistent: confidentiality, trying not to take home the grief of others, speaking freely and not giving advice. Easton says her goals for the parents are the same as well.

“We feel like most parents do really well feeling a connectedness to their child—not carrying so tightly the really difficult emotions that they have felt, but feeling a connectedness to their child's energy, the goodness that they brought to the world,” says Easton. “Because when it's a loss through overdose, there's a shroud, there's some darkness, and a lot of times there's some conflict before the loss actually happens... So, we try to get them to a place of peace.”

On Tuesday night, Easton and her colleague Kimberly Grove, will lead a panel presentation titled Finding Comfort Together After the Loss of a Loved One from Overdose. The event is designed to raise awareness about the support that is available to people struggling with this traumatic loss. Randy Abbot and five other members of his support group will share personal stories of grief and healing. It's free and open to the public. Individuals hoping to learn more, people currently grieving an overdose loss, and individuals simply wanting to show support are welcome.