'Wait Wait' for February 17, 2024: With Not My Job guest Sleater-Kinney

Transcript

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. When Peter's away, Billy will play.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Ill. Filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Tom Papa.

(APPLAUSE)

TOM PAPA, HOST:

Hi everyone. So happy to be here. Peter is on his way to Florida for a one-man spring break.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Get ready, Daytona. You've never seen tan lines quite like this.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: We have a great show for you today. Later on, legendary rock band Sleater-Kinney will be playing our games. But first, it's your turn. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

HOLLY: Hi, this is Holly (ph), and I'm calling from Westerville, Ohio.

PAPA: Oh, hi, Holly. Where's...

HOLLY: Hi.

PAPA: Where is Westerville? What's that near?

HOLLY: It's a Columbus suburb, so north of Columbus.

PAPA: Oh. What do you - how are you spending your winter there? What do you do?

HOLLY: It's actually remarkably warm. So it's - you can spend a lot of time outside. It's nice.

PAPA: Do you feel like that's a benefit, that things are warmer now, or do you miss the cold?

(LAUGHTER)

HOLLY: I don't know if I'm the right person to ask. I really like cold. So it's not Chicago cold, but still.

PAPA: Right. All right, Holly, let me introduce you to our panel first. It's a correspondent for "The Daily Show" and author of the new book "Hello, Friends!" It's Dulce Sloan.

(APPLAUSE)

DULCE SLOAN: Hey.

PAPA: Next, the writer behind the "Ask Amy" advice column. You can find her "One Good Thing" newsletter on Substack. It's Amy Dickinson.

(APPLAUSE)

AMY DICKINSON: Hey. Hey, Holly.

HOLLY: Hi there.

PAPA: And his newest stand-up special, "Vacation Baby," is free on YouTube, and he's headlining Commonwealth Sanctuary in Dayton, Ky., June 21 and 22. It's Hari Kondabolu.

(APPLAUSE)

HARI KONDABOLU: Hey, Holly.

HOLLY: Hi, there.

PAPA: Welcome to the show, Holly. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly explain two of them, you'll win our prize - any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready?

HOLLY: As ready as I'll ever be.

PAPA: (Laughter) OK. Your first quote is from the president of the United States.

KURTIS: LOL. Hey, guys.

PAPA: That was the caption as Joe Biden became the first US president to post on what social media platform this week.

HOLLY: I believe it is Instagram.

DICKINSON: Holly...

HOLLY: Oh...

SLOAN: Pick another one.

DICKINSON: Think of a clock.

HOLLY: Twitter - X.

SLOAN: And pick another one.

HOLLY: Snapchat.

PAPA: All right. How about let me give you a hint. Joe Biden was more familiar with this as the sound of a clock makes.

HOLLY: Oh, TikTok.

PAPA: There you go - TikTok.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: All right.

SLOAN: You did it.

PAPA: In the administration's latest attempt to court young voters, President Biden has joined TikTok. I get it, but if you're trying to get young people on your side, maybe don't start by going to the place where young people are the meanest.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: It's absolutely brilliant, though. It wasn't really to court young voters. You see, like, because he didn't - he wanted to get rid of TikTok. He wanted to ban it, right? And then young people freaked out. No, don't ban it. We love this thing. But he's like, it's a national security threat. And they're like, no, I want to dance to Ice Spice. And so he did the perfect thing, which is join the thing, thus killing it.

DICKINSON: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: It's brilliant. No one wants to do it if Grandpa's doing it.

PAPA: I can't wait to hear Biden ask, did I just write the song of the summer? And then play "Camptown Races."

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: I'm not convinced he's not just AI at this point.

SLOAN: Nah, you could tell he's alive. He keeps blinking.

PAPA: On a platform known for dancing, Biden just got on it, and he just stood still.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Joe Biden, the man whose TikToks make you think your Wi-Fi is down.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: It's genius.

DICKINSON: He's just buffering.

SLOAN: He can bring buffering back. That's what he has to do. Buffering Biden - that's the hashtag.

DICKINSON: That's it.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Meanwhile, Jimmy Carter is posting thirst traps for Instagram.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: He is a widower. It makes sense.

(GROANING)

SLOAN: And look, don't groan. Don't...

DICKINSON: He might be looking.

PAPA: All right, Holly, your next quote is a reporter describing a new development in air travel.

KURTIS: You go to the airport, and you throw your bag on the scale. And they say, not so fast, toots. You too.

PAPA: That was...

HOLLY: Toots.

KURTIS: That was KTLA's Andy Riesmeyer explaining how one airline is going to start doing what to passengers before they fly?

HOLLY: Oh, I hope it's not weigh them.

PAPA: It is weigh them.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HOLLY: Oh, no.

PAPA: Scandinavian airline Finnair has announced that to better estimate the weight of their airplanes, passengers will be asked to step on a scale before boarding. I don't mind having to weigh myself, but I hate when they make me squeeze into that bag sizer.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Let's be honest here. This is an attack on America. That's what this is.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: It really is. They obviously...

KONDABOLU: This is a declaration of war.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: You know, it's fine because don't nobody want to go to they punk-ass, cold-ass, blond-ass country anyway.

PAPA: You're right.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: No, that's disrespectful. Listen...

PAPA: I know.

SLOAN: If you want to tell us that you ain't got enough money to get some strong-ass airplanes...

PAPA: Yeah. Yeah.

SLOAN: Shut your airline down.

PAPA: Exactly.

SLOAN: Shut your airline down because if your airline can't handle 10 Americans, baby, you don't deserve to be in the sky.

(APPLAUSE)

SLOAN: Delta would never.

PAPA: And the audacity to blame us for the problem - maybe planes wouldn't weigh so much if they hadn't jammed an extra row of seats between every preexisting row of seats.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Listen. If y'all are doing stuff that's so broke, even Spirit doesn't do it, ground your airline.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Ground your airline. Spirit won't even let you bring yourself on a plane. How dare you?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

PAPA: It is humiliating. It's crazy to think Amelia Earhart would still be alive today if she hadn't had that second serving of cacio e pepe.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: And her plane didn't even have a top.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: All right, Holly. Your last quote is from a woman explaining how she fell for her husband.

KURTIS: He made meatballs and a salad.

PAPA: That was someone agreeing with a New York Times article that you should what on the first date?

HOLLY: Oh, can I have a hint?

PAPA: Can you have a hint?

DICKINSON: What do...

HOLLY: I think - I feel like it's too obvious, and I'm scared to guess.

SLOAN: No, just - it's as obvious, Holly, as you think it is.

HOLLY: OK.

DICKINSON: Holly, what do nice girls do?

HOLLY: OK. I'll go with it. I'll go with cook on the first date.

PAPA: There you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HOLLY: Excellent.

PAPA: There you go. Cook for someone.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Just what I want in a first date - hot oil and someone holding a knife.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: A lot of people say it's dangerous to go to a stranger's house on a first date because you could get murdered.

SLOAN: Yes.

PAPA: Come on. Stop flattering yourselves. No one wants to murder you. Just eat the pasta.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: How do you feel about this, Dulce?

SLOAN: You've never been a woman.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

PAPA: What do you mean?

SLOAN: Well, Tom Papa...

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: ...You - listen.

PAPA: Yeah.

SLOAN: If you don't - sir, if you can't afford it, just tell me. Just tell me. I'll go to an Applebee's. I - because, listen. If I'm on a podcast, I don't want it to be a true crime one.

DICKINSON: The woman who...

PAPA: Yeah.

DICKINSON: ...Said that has never seen an episode of "Dateline." That's...

SLOAN: The woman who said that better have a knife in her purse.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SLOAN: There's a knife in my purse, but I'm not going in your house on the first, third, fourth or fifth date.

PAPA: Would you invite a guy to your place to cook?

SLOAN: No because then he knows where I live.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Where is a good first date?

SLOAN: Outside.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Witnesses.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: All right, Bill. How did Holly do?

KURTIS: She did great, 3-0.

PAPA: Good job, Holly.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Thank you for playing, Holly.

HOLLY: Thank you so much.

PAPA: Thank you so much. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "COME ON-A MY HOUSE")

DELLA REESE: (Singing) Come on-a my house, my house. I'm going to give you candy. Come on-a my house, my house. I'm going to give you a apple and a plum and a apricot or two. Hey, come on-a my house, my house, come on...

PAPA: All right. Right now, panel, we're introducing a new game called...

KURTIS: Have all the doors stayed on all the planes this week?

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Wow.

PAPA: We live in a golden age where amazing flying machines carry us long distances at incredible speeds and occasionally keep all their doors attached the whole time.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: For one point, Amy, have all the doors stayed on all the planes in America this week?

DICKINSON: No. All the doors have not stayed on all the planes this week, Tom.

PAPA: You are right, Amy.

DICKINSON: I know.

PAPA: They have not.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SLOAN: Wait. It happened again?

PAPA: Yeah.

DICKINSON: It happened again.

SLOAN: No.

PAPA: A door fell off a small plane near Buffalo, N.Y., this week. The good news is it was a single-engine plane with only two passengers, and it landed safely. The plane belonged to a flight school. So it's also good that we're giving new pilots training...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...In what to do when a door inevitably flies off the plane.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: On the audio recording, the pilot says they've had an emergency and need to head back. And the air traffic control asked what happened, and then the pilot said, oh, you know, the usual.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: No.

KONDABOLU: I'm laughing, but I'm very frightened. This is terrifying.

DICKINSON: You know how, like, on flights, in that exit row, you get a little more room, and it's kind of a prime seat, or it can be if this - I just flew here. People were like, oh, no, after you. Like, no one...

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: You know when you get the exit row seat and they ask you like, if you're not willing and able - I always opt out. I'm like, I'm not willing or able because you have to say that you can lift the door open, and I don't want to find out I can't in that moment.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Right.

KONDABOLU: So I'm like, let's just...

DICKINSON: Now they'll just fly off, so you don't have to worry about it.

(SOUNDBITE OF KENNY LOGGINS SONG, "DANGER ZONE")

PAPA: Coming up, that butternut squash has a secret. It's Bluff the Listener. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Dulce Sloan and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Ill., filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Tom Papa.

PAPA: Thanks, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Right now, it's time for the WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, @waitwaitnpr. Hi. You're on WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!

TRACY: Hi. This is Tracy (ph). How are you doing?

PAPA: Good, Tracy. How are you?

TRACY: I'm good.

PAPA: Where are you calling from?

TRACY: I'm calling from Troy, N.Y.

PAPA: What do you do over there?

TRACY: I'm an art therapist and mental health counselor, and I'm a professor at Russell Sage College.

PAPA: Wow. Good for you. That sounds really nice. There's a lot of times when I'm really sad, and I stare at this painting that my wife's mother painted.

TRACY: (Laughter).

PAPA: And I get even more sad.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: We'll talk about...

TRACY: Maybe walk away.

PAPA: Walk away. That's good advice.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: I've been trying to do that for 23 years.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: No, not for - you know what I mean.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Well, it's nice to have you with us, Tracy. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill?

KURTIS: Secrets of the farmers market.

(LAUGHTER)

TRACY: Yay.

PAPA: Some things you know about the farmers market - yes, you're not going to have the only public radio tote bag there.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: And yes, the apple guy just buys them at a bodega and marks them up $8.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: But our panelists are going to tell you something you didn't know. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. First up, it's Hari Kondabolu.

KONDABOLU: In recent years, we've seen the growth of conservative brands like Black Rifle Coffee, Patriot Mobile and No Immigrants Turtlenecks Company.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Are those companies all real? Who knows? But now you can buy conservative kombucha at farmers markets. Todd Bell (ph), owner of Right-Wing Kombucha, has been selling his product for years at farmers markets in Santa Cruz, Calif., but hid his political beliefs. But one day, something changed. Quote - "I got sick of pretending to be something I'm not and trying to fit in by saying things I don't believe. Things like, if only we were more like Sweden, or Hillary Clinton is absolutely not a lizard person sent to this planet to destroy America...

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: ...When I know she is." Shockingly, the popularity of the stand has actually not been affected at all. Local union organizer and NPR tote bag owner Phyllis Gorman (ph) said, I'm against everything he's about, but he makes a good kombucha, and I really value my gut health.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: All right. That's Right-Wing Kombucha from Hari Kondabolu. Your next story of the organic underground comes from Amy Dickinson.

DICKINSON: What started at a farmers market in Alliance, Neb., ended in a courtroom for an unfortunate tourist from Connecticut. According to depositions, Janet Duval (ph) of Hartford picked up a jar of pickled prairie plums at the Tenderfoot Farm stand. Are these grown on your farm? She asked James Foot (ph), the farmer. He said, yes, they are. Are they organic? She asked. Yes, he said. We pickle them ourselves. She took the jar back to her Airbnb, speared a plum and gobbled it down. This was no plum, Duval, a vegan, testified. The farmer doesn't dispute that. Pickled prairie plums are sheep testicles pickled...

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: ...In beet juice and vinegar. I'm so disgusted. I can't even think about sheep now, Duval said. I even had to get rid of all my sweaters. The farmer responded, it's a good thing she didn't try out Rocky Mountain oysters or meadow muffins. They really are an acquired taste.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: All right. That's pickled sheep testicles from Amy Dickinson. Your last furtive farm story comes from Dulce Sloan.

SLOAN: We all know about the underwear brand Fruit of the Loom, but you never expect someone to take that literally. An unnamed farmer has gone viral on Facebook for hanging his precious watermelons in lingerie. Apparently, panties allow the fruit to breathe, and using the underwear to hoist the watermelons up off the ground removes the risk of rot, keeping them fresh. This is either an ingenious new gardening method or the first excuse the farmer could think of when his wife saw him dressing up his fruit in panty drawers. It's for them, not me, he said. One user commented, the premise is sound, but what if the watermelon gets a wedgie - which one do you pick? Huh? Huh?

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Another user joked, I feel inferior. Even the watermelon is sexier than me. Upon looking at said user, someone commented, yes, the watermelon was sexier than him.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: OK, Tracy. So you've got Right-Wing Kombucha from Hari, you've got pickled sheep testicles from Amy, and you've got fruit-covered lingerie - or lingerie-covered fruit...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...From Dulce.

TRACY: As horrifying as it is, I think I have to go with the lingerie fruit.

PAPA: All right. Going with Dulce and the lingerie-covered fruit. To find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with the story.

ROBIN CLINE: So it is common among some gardeners for people to try to lift their melons off the ground, and so it does make a certain kind of...

TRACY: Yay.

CLINE: ...Sense to use lacy underwear.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: That was Robin Cline from NeighborSpace, an urban land trust in Chicago, talking about the melons in lingerie. Congratulations, Tracy. You got it right.

(CHEERING)

TRACY: Yay, thank you.

PAPA: You earned a point for Dulce, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today.

TRACY: Thank you. Goodbye.

PAPA: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WATERMELON SUGAR")

HARRY STYLES: (Singing) Watermelon sugar. Strawberries on a summer evening. Baby, you're the end of June.

PAPA: And now the game we call Not My Job. As someone currently doing something that is not my job, it holds a special place in my heart.

SLOAN: (Laughter).

PAPA: Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein formed Sleater-Kinney in 1994 and quickly became one of the most celebrated bands of the decade. They took a break when Carrie co-created "Portlandia," and Corin pursued a career in web development and interactive media, and they've reunited to great acclaim in 2015 and just released their new album, "Little Rope." Corin and Carrie, welcome to WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!

(CHEERING)

CORIN TUCKER: Hello.

CARRIE BROWNSTEIN: Hi.

PAPA: So nice to see you.

BROWNSTEIN: Nice to see you guys. Thanks for having us.

PAPA: Oh, this is very exciting. So how often do you correct people on how to say your band's name - Carrie?

BROWNSTEIN: Well, I think it can go either way. We're fine with Sleeter (ph), and we're more fine with Slater (ph). But it's technically - we pronounce it Slater, but we're OK with the Sleeters out there. So yeah, we can - we're fine.

PAPA: All right.

BROWNSTEIN: No worries.

PAPA: That's cool. I just want to seem cool in front of you 'cause you're both super cool.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: So this is your 30th anniversary of your band, which is amazing. It's - that is incredible. What is it like going from scrappy newcomers to a band who has now influenced new generations of bands?

TUCKER: I think we're happy to be here, you know...

PAPA: Yeah.

TUCKER: ...At this point, and I think it's actually really fun to, you know, meet young musicians, to exchange ideas and to listen to new things. I think, you know, I'll always be curious about what other people are doing.

KONDABOLU: Is it weird being somebody's influence? Like, do people come up to you and say, oh, you've been my favorite band since I was 8, and then it's like, that's really sweet, but stop talking in years right now. I don't - does it feel strange?

TUCKER: Yeah, well, when you said we'd been a band for 30 years, I wanted to say, yeah, it's so weird. We formed when we were five, and...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Well, it's...

TUCKER: I'm just grateful.

PAPA: Yeah, it is amazing. And your new album is really so strong. And what's it like after all of this time and making an album - you've progressed. You've evolved. Is it easier to work with each other? Is it a shorthand? Like, where are you at creatively with each other?

BROWNSTEIN: I think there is a shorthand. Like, we have an easier time trying out things. I mean, I think we're more patient now than maybe we were, but then we can just look at each other and be like, yeah, that's fine, right?

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: Yeah, we have a little bit of ESP. There's kind of a language that we've created around Sleater-Kinney that makes it easier, but if we're ever going to break up, it's going to be here on WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! which...

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: ...Asking us to play this game and be each other's teammates is very treacherous, so we'll call this the divorce-maker if it goes wrong.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Widow-maker.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Corin, your voice is so great. Does your strong voice come in handy as a mother?

TUCKER: I wish I could say that I didn't have to really belt, but I do.

(LAUGHTER)

TUCKER: I really have to get up there and be like, damn it.

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: Well, to be fair, her daughter is learning how to drive, and Corin told me about her daughter driving her to school - herself to school with Corin in the passenger seat, and I thought that sounded like hell.

(LAUGHTER)

TUCKER: True, true hell.

PAPA: They always come so close to the mailboxes.

(LAUGHTER)

TUCKER: They really do. Yeah, I really had to, like, cover my mouth during that car ride.

PAPA: So your album's out, and everybody loves it. It's really fantastic, and you're going to go on tour now, right? You're going to head back out on the road?

BROWNSTEIN: Yep.

PAPA: How is - how do you approach touring now? How is it different from when you toured before?

BROWNSTEIN: Well, we definitely started out in vans, vans with just lap belts, so that was a while ago. And - but yeah.

PAPA: Yeah (laughter).

BROWNSTEIN: It's kind of a marathon, and we're about to embark on it. But the shows are great.

PAPA: Yeah.

BROWNSTEIN: As you know, from doing this live show that you're doing now...

PAPA: Yeah.

BROWNSTEIN: ...The show part of it is pretty special.

PAPA: Yeah.

KONDABOLU: How often are the encores real?

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: You know how you go back and everyone's like, oh, they're going to come out for an encore, and you just know it. And then you come out for an encore, and it's like, yeah, the encore we knew was going to happen. How often is it, like, unexpected - oh, they want us to play another one?

BROWNSTEIN: Well, I will give credit to Maggie Rogers, the singer. I read that she said that was basically - the encore was adult peekaboo.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: That's amazing.

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: And she's really correct in that assessment. I think we've actually kind of gone the opposite direction. In the early days, it was very much earned. You were not - there was no planning for that. If the crowd kept cheering, you went back out. And now I think people write their setlist with the encore in mind, and we've actually kind of stopped doing that, which can be a little humbling if you realize, oh, wait, they actually don't want us to come back.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: One more song. Nah, we're good.

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: Yeah. You have to be careful.

SLOAN: Got my kids, lady.

PAPA: All right, Sleater-Kinney, we've asked you here to play a game we're calling.

KURTIS: Knit One, Purl Two.

PAPA: Your new album is called "Little Rope," so we thought we'd ask you about even littler rope - yarn.

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: Brutal.

PAPA: Did you know that's what we were going to do?

BROWNSTEIN: No.

TUCKER: No.

BROWNSTEIN: What a pleasant surprise, though.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: All right, answer two out of three questions and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Sleater-Kinney playing for?

KURTIS: Robert Sperry (ph) from Fort Oglethorpe, Ga.

(CHEERING)

DICKINSON: Oglethorpe.

PAPA: All right, here's your first question. Fans of knitting have plenty of opportunities to enjoy their hobby, even when they're not actually doing it like which of these? - A, Norway's national broadcaster, NRK, which sometimes airs a program called "Just 12 Hours Of Knitting," B, VR Knitting Simulator, a game for the Oculus Quest that lets you feel like you're really making a scarf, or C, actual knit podcasts where you can hear a knitter describe every stitch of the project they're making.

SLOAN: What?

BROWNSTEIN: I think - what is the audience saying?

UNIDENTIFIED PEOPLE: C.

BROWNSTEIN: C.

PAPA: I would...

BROWNSTEIN: Yeah, I mean...

PAPA: I - you can't really see them, but I wouldn't trust them so much.

DICKINSON: No.

TUCKER: Oh, OK, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: Corin, I think it could be A.

TUCKER: Sure.

(APPLAUSE)

BROWNSTEIN: We're going to go with Norway's knitting channel.

PAPA: Well, you are right. It's A.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

TUCKER: Nice.

(CHEERING)

PAPA: Norway TV has a 12-hour knitting show. It's called "One Arm Of A Sweater."

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Not really, no. I made that part up. OK, here's your next question. You're doing great.

SLOAN: Maniac.

PAPA: Some knitters love to push the boundaries, like one Japanese knitter who has become famous for her handmade knitted what - A, canoes, B, full-size playgrounds, C, internal combustion engines?

(LAUGHTER)

BROWNSTEIN: I think it might be - what was B?

PAPA: Full-size playgrounds.

BROWNSTEIN: I think it's that. What do you think, Corin?

TUCKER: Yeah. I think that's the right one.

PAPA: You're right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: The answer's B.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: There's stuff you can swing and jump and climb on - all knitted. All right, you're doing great. Here's your last question. How do you feel so far? You feel strong?

BROWNSTEIN: I feel so good because now we have won already, so this is just, like, the cherry on top here, right?

(CHEERING)

BROWNSTEIN: It's icing on the cake.

PAPA: Yeah.

DICKINSON: It's your encore.

TUCKER: It's the encore. It's peekaboo.

PAPA: All right. There are few celebrities in knitting, but David Babcock is one of them. He holds the world record for what - A, longest scarf knit while simultaneously running a marathon...

DICKINSON: Oh, my God. What?

PAPA: ...B, ugliest homemade Christmas sweater, C, most household items covered in cozies?

UNIDENTIFIED PEOPLE: C.

BROWNSTEIN: I mean, it feels like C.

PAPA: But what do you...

BROWNSTEIN: Wait. What do we want it to be?

PAPA: Yeah.

BROWNSTEIN: I'd love to see A take place. Should we go with C, Corin? It seems weird that they would make a quiz that's A, B, C. Does that seem like a dangerous place to go?

TUCKER: I would say it's either C or B.

PAPA: You're right. It's A.

(LAUGHTER)

TUCKER: We really dropped the ball.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: I like how Tom Papa plays this game.

DICKINSON: Right.

PAPA: The scarf was 12 feet long, and Babcock ran the marathon in 5 hours, 48 minutes.

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

BROWNSTEIN: What a talent.

PAPA: Bill, how did Sleater-Kinney do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, they were right - 2 out of 3 is a winner, so congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Congratulations.

BROWNSTEIN: Thank you.

PAPA: Sleater-Kinney's new album "Little Rope" is out now. It's fantastic, and their 2024 tour starts on February 28. Corin, Carrie, thank you for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME. Thank you so much.

BROWNSTEIN: Thank you.

TUCKER: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT")

SLEATER-KINNEY: (Singing) Lie gently with me. All clocks have stopped.

PAPA: In just a minute, the old ball and chain meets the old ball and chain in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Dulce Sloan and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Ill., filling in for Peter Sagal, Tom Papa.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Thanks, Bill. In just a minute, experience the magic of an art form even older than public radio in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Dulce, the singer Tyrese revealed on Instagram this week that his girlfriend dumped him because his new album has too many songs about what?

SLOAN: OK. Let's see. Tyrese - so his abs are out. He's singing in the rain. Songs only talk about a few things - sexy time, relationships.

PAPA: His - you're right. You're in the right area.

SLOAN: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

PAPA: Specifically...

SLOAN: Another woman?

PAPA: Yes.

SLOAN: Other women? Not her?

PAPA: (Vocalizing).

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: His ex?

PAPA: Yes.

SLOAN: Ha.

(APPLAUSE)

SLOAN: What a dummy.

PAPA: Tyrese posted a trailer for his new album with the caption, we just broke up over some dumb stuff. She demanded that I cancel my album because there's too many songs about my ex on there. F does that mean? I don't know, Tyrese. It kind of sounds like she told you exactly what she means.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: How did she know that they were about the ex?

PAPA: Well, the album is named "I Would Leave My Current Girlfriend For You."

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: She can't expect the man to not put his album out.

PAPA: Right.

SLOAN: But also, I feel like she probably said something before. So he could have added just one song and been like, (singing) my current girlfriend is amazing.

PAPA: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Right.

SLOAN: Because, I mean, that's - in my head, that's how Tyrese sounds.

PAPA: You ever been with someone, and they're - and they talk a little too much about their ex?

SLOAN: Doesn't Taylor Swift have a whole career out of that?

PAPA: Yeah.

DICKINSON: Basically.

SLOAN: Man, this Travis Kelce album's going to be wild.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Amy, this week, we learned inflation is still at higher-than-expected levels, and The Wall Street Journal reports it's affecting one person more than anyone else. Who is paying higher prices than ever?

DICKINSON: I don't know. Is it something like people who hire dog sitters or is it something off...

PAPA: No.

DICKINSON: ...Like that? Or is this...

PAPA: Would you like a hint?

DICKINSON: Sure. Does it involve the gas pump? No.

PAPA: No, no gas pump. Her money is not so much going down the drain as under the kid's pillow.

DICKINSON: Oh, the tooth fairy?

PAPA: Yes, the tooth fairy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: The average price kids are getting is up 20% year over year.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: It's now $6.23 per tooth.

KONDABOLU: No. Not happening.

SLOAN: What?

KONDABOLU: No. No.

PAPA: And some parents report their kids are getting one $100 bill per tooth.

SLOAN: Oh, my God.

PAPA: Now, if that seems high, remember, those people love their children more than you do.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Wow. That's incredible.

SLOAN: What happened to - listen, I understand we used to get metal money for teeth. What happened to a dollar?

DICKINSON: A hundred dollars? That's bananas.

SLOAN: Also, he's going to eat it.

KONDABOLU: What?

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: I'd pay $6 a finger.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, God.

PAPA: Go on.

KONDABOLU: That to me - OK, that's a loss.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: That's not going to come back.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

PAPA: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks right here at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago. Or come see us on the road. We'll be at Wolf Trap just outside of D.C. on August 1. For tickets and info about all of our shows, go to nprpresents.org.

Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

NIKKI HOAGLAND: Hi. This is Nikki Hoagland (ph) calling from Winter Haven, Fla.

PAPA: Oh, hi, Nikki. Thank you for being here.

HOAGLAND: Hi. Thanks for having me.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: I was just touring in Florida. Where is Winter Haven?

HOAGLAND: Kind of in the middle between Tampa and Orlando. We're very theme park-oriented here. We're home of Legoland Florida.

PAPA: Oh, nice. How often do you go to Legoland?

HOAGLAND: Not very often.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Well, welcome to the show, Nikki. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Fill in that last word correctly on 2 out of 3, and you win. Here's your first Limerick.

KURTIS: In a humid south Indian bog, this mushroom sets science agog. It just pulled up shop. Now it ribbits and hops because it grew on the side of a frog.

HOAGLAND: Frog?

KURTIS: Yes.

PAPA: That's right. Frog.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HOAGLAND: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Good job. Scientists in India have discovered a frog with a mushroom growing on its butt.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: This is unusual because these kinds of mushrooms usually only grow on decaying matter, which is cool for science, but devastating for the frog.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Wait. So it's, like, growing out of his, like...

PAPA: Butt.

KONDABOLU: Yeah. How does one prepare a frog with mushroom on but.

PAPA: Usually olive oil.

DICKINSON: Saute.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Sounds like a question for the French.

PAPA: All right, here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: When I rise from my barbershop's chair, I'll take home what they sweep up down there. Once it's twisted and spun, I will have relaxed fun because I'm knitting with yarn made from...

HOAGLAND: Hair.

PAPA: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: You're right. Unfortunately, you're right.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: A Dutch startup is collecting discarded hair from salons and wig factories and spinning it into yarn to weave into fabric. Imagine complimenting someone's sweater, and they say, thanks. It's Michael.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: That's so funny.

DICKINSON: So I have a neighbor who did that with her - she had a collie. And she combed out the collie and wove - spun the fur into yarn and made things out of it.

SLOAN: But see. Why are y'all acting like it's nasty? Because that's what sheep wool is.

PAPA: Yeah, but you take it off the sheep, and you never meet the sheep, and you just get this sweater. And then your neighbor is putting on a sweater, and the dog's just looking at you like...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...I'm cold.

DICKINSON: And then before you know it, some woman in Japan is making a playground out of it.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: All right, here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: We trade rings, say I do and exhale. It's a sentence to life without bail. The place where we wed. It's the vibe on the head. Cellblock D of a federal...

HOAGLAND: Jail.

KURTIS: Yes.

PAPA: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: Jail.

KURTIS: Good.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: You can now have your wedding at the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, an old abandoned jail famous for inventing solitary confinement. Romantic.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Would you have a wedding there? Would you get married in a jail?

KONDABOLU: Would I get married?

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Going to need some time.

PAPA: (Laughter). I'll give you 10 to 20.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Bill, how did Nikki do?

KURTIS: Well, she did great. Got them all right. Three in a row, Nikki.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Way to go, Nikki.

HOAGLAND: All right.

PAPA: Yay, Nikki. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy the rest of your day.

HOAGLAND: Thanks for having me.

PAPA: All right. Say goodbye to Nikki, everybody.

SLOAN: Bye, Nikki.

(SOUNDBITE OF PHILHARMONIA CASSOVIA AND JOHANNES WILDNER'S "A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM, OP. 61, MWV M 13: WEDDING MARCH")

PAPA: Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer, as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

KURTIS: I can. Dulce and Amy each have three. Hari has one.

DICKINSON: What?

PAPA: Hari, you're in third place, so you're up first.

KONDABOLU: Great.

PAPA: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. According to a new report, Russia can sustain the war in blank for three more years.

KONDABOLU: Ukraine.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: On Wednesday, Democrat Tom Suozzi won the special election to replace blank in Congress.

KONDABOLU: George Santos.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: This week, Israeli forces raided Nasser Hospital in blank.

KONDABOLU: Gaza.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: On Wednesday, security experts warned that I could be used to spread misinformation during the 2024 blank.

KONDABOLU: Presidential election.

PAPA: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: Current "Bachelor" Joey Graziadei reviewed his recent trip to Malta, an island country that's been inhabited for nearly 8,000 years, by saying, blank.

KONDABOLU: Ayy.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: It has a kind of old-school vibe. On Tuesday, a fast-moving winter storm led New York to have its blackest day in two years.

KONDABOLU: Snowiest.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: On Sunday, the Super Bowl became the most-watched television program since the blank.

KONDABOLU: "Bachelor?"

PAPA: Since the moon landing. This week...

SLOAN: What?

PAPA: ...A new water park in Sweden...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PAPA: ...Was forced to close down after it blanked.

KONDABOLU: After the toilets overflowed.

PAPA: (Laughter). After somehow, the water park burst into flames.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: No one was hurt. No one was hurt. And while damage is extensive, the owners are excited to announce their newest venture, Sweden's first-ever fire park.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Bill, how did Hari do?

KURTIS: Pretty good. Five right, 10 more points. His 11 puts him in the lead.

PAPA: OK. Dulce, you're up next.

SLOAN: But Hari got all the easy questions.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Fill in the blanks. On Tuesday, the GOP-led House impeached Alejandro Mayorkas, the secretary of blank.

SLOAN: Defense? No, the other - Homeland Security.

PAPA: Yes.

SLOAN: Ha.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: This week, photo sharing app blank announced it would no longer recommend political content to users.

SLOAN: Photo sharing. I don't know. Instagram?

PAPA: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: This week, the CDC said it expected to change its isolation guidelines for people with blank.

SLOAN: COVID.

PAPA: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: In a dispute over working conditions, thousands of rideshare employees went on a one day blank on Wednesday.

SLOAN: Strike.

PAPA: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: This week, a drug dealer in Peru was arrested by a cop working undercover dressed as blank.

SLOAN: Oh, a woman?

PAPA: A giant teddy bear.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Not fair.

PAPA: According to a new study, even after quitting, blank impacts your immune system for years.

SLOAN: Smoking.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: On Tuesday, William Post, the creator of breakfast food staple Pop-Blanks, passed away at 96.

SLOAN: Corn Pops? No. Tell me. Tell me.

UNIDENTIFIED PEOPLE: Pop-Tarts.

SLOAN: Pop-Tarts.

PAPA: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: After a man in France spent eight years building an Eiffel Tower...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PAPA: ...Out of 700,000 matchsticks, the Guinness Book of World Records told him blank.

SLOAN: That he needed more.

PAPA: No, that the record wouldn't count because he used the wrong kind of matchsticks.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: The good news is that after an outpouring of support from the matchstick tower building community, I guess...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...Guinness reversed their decision, saving them from being voted world's most pedantic world record book.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Bill, how did Dulce do?

KURTIS: Good. Six right, 12 more points. Total of 15 puts her in the lead.

DICKINSON: Whoa.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Bill, how many does Amy need to win?

KURTIS: Six to tie, seven to win.

DICKINSON: (Vocalizing).

PAPA: OK, Amy, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, a judge ruled that the hush-money trial of blank would start on March 25.

DICKINSON: Donald Trump.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: For the first time in almost a decade, Jon Stewart returned to host the blank on Monday.

DICKINSON: "The Daily Show."

PAPA: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Sorry.

PAPA: On Tuesday, the first-known death from so-called blank pox was recorded.

DICKINSON: Alaska.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: On Monday, the father, who held a gender reveal party that sparked a blank in California pled guilty.

DICKINSON: Wildfire.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: This week, a man was fined after he tried to make it through a New York City airport with blank in his pants.

DICKINSON: Boa constrictor.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Very good. I'd give it to her.

PAPA: All right. I'll give it to her. Three Burmese pythons.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: On Wednesday, NASA launched the Odysseus lander headed for the blank.

DICKINSON: Moon.

PAPA: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: On Tuesday, a man in Oregon was diagnosed with the blank.

DICKINSON: The plague.

PAPA: Yes, the bubonic plague.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: This week, a police officer in Florida...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PAPA: ...Resigned after his body cam caught him discharging his weapon and yelling, shots fired and, I'm hit when he blanked.

DICKINSON: When he farted.

PAPA: When he mistook the sound of an acorn hitting the roof of his squad car for a gunshot.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, no.

PAPA: In what is the most embarrassing moment for a police officer since that cop in Boston went down a slide...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...The sheriff's deputy screamed, rolled on the ground, and fired his gun at his own vehicle when he mistook a falling acorn for gunfire.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Bill, did Amy do enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, she got these numbers - seven right, 14 more points.

DICKINSON: Whoa.

KURTIS: She wins with 17.

DICKINSON: Whoa.

(APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: Unexpected.

PAPA: Congratulations.

Now, panel, how will Joe Biden try to look cool next? Dulce Sloan.

SLOAN: He's going to be dressed in head-to-toe athleisure and tell us about his icks.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Amy Dickinson.

DICKINSON: He just auditioned to be grandpa in the new ads for Six Flags.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Hari Kondabolu.

KONDABOLU: He will magically transform into Barack Obama.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: And if any of that happens, panel, we're going to tell you about it here on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

PAPA: Thank you, Bill Kurtis. Thanks also to Dulce Sloan, Amy Dickinson and Hari Kondabolu. And thanks to all of you for listening.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: I'm Tom Papa, in for Peter Sagal. And we'll see you next week.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

PAPA: This is NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.