'Wait Wait' for Nov 19, 2022: Live from Louisville!

Transcript

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Hey there, ponies. Come on over to Church-Bill Downs (ph).

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis. And here's your host at the Louisville Palace Theatre in Louisville, Ky., my Louisville hugger, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. It is so great to be here in Louisville, especially because we are here in bourbon country in the middle of a golden age. As we all know, the last few years have been a great time for anyone who makes whiskey. Speaking of which, later on, we're going to be talking to Freddie Johnson, a third-generation distillery employee and bourbon ambassador. But right now, it's your turn to pour yourself a beverage of your choice and give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

JENNIFER KELLY: Hi, Peter. This is Jennifer Kelly (ph). How are you?

SAGAL: I'm fine, Jennifer. Where are you calling from?

KELLY: I am calling from Madison, Ala.

SAGAL: Madison, Ala. - now, I don't know it. What do you do there?

KELLY: Well, I am a freelance turf writer and author.

SAGAL: I'm sorry. You said you were a freelance what?

KELLY: Turf writer. I write about horse racing.

SAGAL: Oh, you're a turf writer.

(APPLAUSE)

ALZO SLADE: Here we go.

KELLY: Yes.

SAGAL: Great. Now, are you - I just got to ask. Are you a Churchill Downs person or a Keeneland person?

KELLY: I have been to Keeneland more than I've been to Churchill, but you can't beat either of them for a great day of races.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's true. All right. Well, welcome to the show, and very good answer.

(LAUGHTER)

KELLY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a three-time Emmy Award-winning VICE correspondent and host of the podcast "Cheat!" It's Alzo Slade.

(APPLAUSE)

SLADE: Hey, hey. How you doing?

SAGAL: Next, the comedian whose second album, "Weaponized Empathy," will be out soon on A Special Thing Records. It's Adam Burke.

ADAM BURKE: Hi. How are you?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And a comedian you can see in St. Paul, Minn., at the Fitzgerald Theater - you may have heard of that - plays on December 10. The host of the podcast, "Nobody Listens To Paula Poundstone," it's Paula Poundstone.

(APPLAUSE)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Hey.

SAGAL: So welcome to the show, Jennifer. Of course, you're going to play Who's Bill This Time? That means that Bill Kurtis right here is going to recreate for you, with his mellifluous voice, three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course - explain or identify two of them. Do that - you'll win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

KELLY: I am absolutely ready. Fire away.

SAGAL: Here we go. Your first quote is actually from a therapist talking about his client.

KURTIS: "He didn't spend much money. You've seen how he dresses."

SAGAL: He was talking about Sam Bankman-Fried, a man whose company, FTX, just lost billions of dollars and threatens to bring down what entire industry?

KELLY: Cryptocurrency.

SAGAL: Crypto - yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: One of the world's biggest crypto companies, FTX, is in freefall. Billions of dollars of value have disappeared. Revelations are coming out about massive fraud and also allegations that the young top executives of this company were all, in fact, sleeping with each other. Yes, this story is both NSFW and NFT.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: I will say the guy's last name is Bankman.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: Doesn't that sound like a name an 8-year-old would come up with...

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: ...If he was trying to convince you that he knew about money?

SAGAL: It's true. Yeah, I'm a - also, if you change the pronunciation a little bit, it's bankman fried.

BURKE: (Laughter) Yeah.

SAGAL: Did you guys follow this story? Had you heard about him? This guy was on the cover of Forbes. He was this celebrity, this tycoon. He did this event with Bill Clinton and Tony Blair just in April. And his trademark was that he only - he never dressed up. He always - he was a young guy, hadn't turned 30 yet, still hasn't, has a - used to appear in T-shirt and shorts and uncut hair. He was a billionaire.

SLADE: Was he a real billionaire?

SAGAL: He was - well, at least on paper.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Well, I heard the part where, you know, everyone's getting sued. Anyone who appeared in the ads for it...

SAGAL: Yes.

BURKE: ...Are getting sued. And Larry David is getting sued, and everyone's saying that it sounds like an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: But doesn't that sound more like an episode of "Seinfeld," like something that Kramer would have come up with? You know what I mean?

SAGAL: Exactly.

BURKE: (Impersonating Michael Richards) It's called crypto, Jerry. It can't go wrong. You know?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: (Impersonating Michael Richards) It's a coin made of bits - bitcoin.

(SOUNDBITE OF , "")

BURKE: My buddy Bob Sacamano is really big into this.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know, I'm beginning to suspect - and, you know, you don't have to agree with me, but I'm beginning to suspect that being a billionaire doesn't mean that you're honest...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...Or nice.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: It's just a feeling. It's a feeling that I'm following.

BURKE: That sounded like a very rudimentary Senate hearing.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: Paula said, it's a feeling. Well, maybe I could just say I identify as a billionaire.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: And people will treat me as such.

BURKE: My pronouns are just dollar signs.

SLADE: Yeah, exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Jennifer, here is your next quote.

KELLY: Yes.

KURTIS: "Florida man makes announcement, page 26."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was how the New York Post's front page covered the announcement that who is running for president again?

KELLY: That man.

(LAUGHTER)

KELLY: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Donald Trump - that's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Lot of Trump fans here - that's great. That's great.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I've got to say, though, Trump seems to have lost his magic. At his announcement - and this is true - all of his hardcore fans who came down to Mar-a-Lago to watch him make this announcement - many of them actually got up and tried to leave the room before he finished speaking, and the security guards wouldn't let them go.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's all true. They started shouting, lock us out. Lock us out.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: I feel like Trump running again is like that homeboy that asked you to borrow money for the first time and you gave it to him, and then he comes around a second time after he didn't pay you back. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, for real this time. For real.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SLADE: Be like, no bro. Absolutely not. I'm not falling for it a second time.

SAGAL: What's interesting is Donald Trump also does that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is - I don't know. I felt a little bad for the guy because none of his powerful allies, the people have stood by him all these years, were there. In fact, his family wasn't there. Don Jr. said he had travel problems. And Ivanka says she's, like, out of politics. He - you know, he was so desperate to have family there that they wheeled in Ivana's bones.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Didn't they say a lot of his big donors have already pulled out?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: They're not going to - I really hope that Eric Trump goes, no, it's OK. I've got this guy, Bankman-Fried. He's going to...

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Jennifer, your last quote is from a very upset music fan.

KURTIS: "Where is Ticketmaster's headquarters? We're about to January 6 you all."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was many fans frustrated they weren't able to buy tickets to see whom in concert next year?

KELLY: I do believe it is the sage that is Taylor Swift.

SAGAL: It is Taylor Swift, blessed be her name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SLADE: Wait? Did she...

SAGAL: Long may she reign.

SLADE: Did she say...

SAGAL: Peace be upon her.

SLADE: Did she say sage?

SAGAL: Yes. That's - yes exactly.

SLADE: Yo, I saw their tickets going for, like, $30,000.

SAGAL: That's exactly right because...

SLADE: That's exactly insane.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Well, Ticketmaster screwed it up. So this is what happened. So it was going to go on pre-sale, the tour - right? - the first batches of tickets. And fans took off days from school or work. They paid hundreds of dollars, some of them for merch that just got them a better place in line. And then they all sat in front of their computers for hours and hours, only to end up with nothing, which is just 2% more miserable than a normal day on Ticketmaster.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Was she actually selling tickets for $30,000?

SAGAL: No, no.

BURKE: No, no, this was...

SAGAL: Because the Ticketmaster system screwed up, people were selling them in the second-hand market for whatever they thought they could get, including, as you say, as much as $30,000.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

BURKE: The only person that could afford a ticket to Taylor Swift was Taylor Swift.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: But, like, the regular price tickets were $1,500 or so. I don't - I'm not sure who I would want to see and pay that much for. Like, even if Jesus were to show up...

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: ...I'd be like, bro, I read about you in the book. You know what I'm saying?

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: I don't need to see you.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: You show up, and you're like - you see - man, I thought you'd be taller.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And you know what? Far be it from me to speak ill of Jesus. But...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...The guy's an opener at best. He's...

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Yeah, he's billed second after his father and in between the Holy Ghost.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Jennifer do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Perfect. Boy, was she good.

SAGAL: Awesome, Jennifer.

KURTIS: Huntsvillle, Ala.

KELLY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

KELLY: Yay.

SAGAL: Jennifer, thank you so much for playing.

KELLY: Thank you so much for having me on. I appreciate it.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF TAYLOR SWIFT SONG, "BLANK SPACE")

SAGAL: Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alzo, in a recent article, The New York Times profiled those couples who believe that the secret to a happy marriage is to do what over text?

SLADE: Sext.

SAGAL: Not that, no.

SLADE: Dang it.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: Argue.

SLADE: Argue over text.

SAGAL: Yes, argue over text.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Fight. Meet, if you will, Robb and Jenn Loeb of Atlanta, who, when a fight starts, actually retreat into different rooms of their house and then do it over text. Fighting over text is called - yes, it is called fexting (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: That sounds dirtier than sexting.

SAGAL: I know.

BURKE: Right?

SAGAL: And the Loebs say it keeps them grounded and from getting too emotional. Well, they didn't say it. Their divorce lawyers issued a statement.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: So they go to separate rooms.

SAGAL: They go to - they're starting to have a fight, and they leave. They go to separate rooms, this couple - real-life couple. And they start texting their fight.

SLADE: I feel like that depends on what data plan you have.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: That could get expensive.

SAGAL: That could. It really could.

BURKE: Also, do you just send emojis of the things you would throw?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A lot of angry red faces, right? I mean, people - I mean, like, marriage counselors interviewed by the Times are like, this is insane. Nobody should do this. This is terrible. But some couples swear by it. They say it keeps their tempers, you know, at bay. And there's nothing better than make-up sext.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: I can think of a few things.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DON'T SPEAK")

NO DOUBT: (Singing) Don't speak. I know just what you're saying, so please stop explaining.

SAGAL: Coming up, we make a run for it in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Alzo Slade and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Louisville Palace Theatre in Louisville, Kentucky, Peter Segal.

SAGAL: Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

CHERYL: Hi. My name is Cheryl (ph), and I live in Ridgefield, New Jersey.

SAGAL: Ridgefield? I know Ridgefield, being a New Jersey boy myself. What do you do there?

CHERYL: I am an influencer campaign manager, so I run influencer campaigns for large companies.

SAGAL: Oh, we have so much to talk about.

SLADE: So much, so much.

SAGAL: So you are an influencer campaign manager for large companies. So...

CHERYL: Correct. I work at an agency.

SAGAL: Right.

CHERYL: The company that I work for gets other brands, like big companies, to sign on and small companies to sign on, anyone who needs an influencer. And then we gather the...

SAGAL: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that those lovely ladies on Instagram...

SLADE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Who told me to use that shade of lipstick were being insincere?

CHERYL: Well, hopefully they followed disclosure laws and told you that it was a sponsored post.

SAGAL: I'm sorry. I need a moment.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Cheryl. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Cheryl's topic?

KURTIS: Run.

SAGAL: Running - that amazing, accessible, inexpensive sport millions fell in love with during the pandemic for about a week because it turns out there's a reason we have cars.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: However, this week we heard about something new in the world of running. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you will win the WAIT-WAITer of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

CHERYL: I am ready.

SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Adam Burke.

BURKE: Ah, marathon season - if there's one thing more onerous and grueling than actually training for a marathon, it's listening to your coworkers tell you about their training for a marathon.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: I mean, some people are so enamored with the subject of running long distances, they'll write entire books about it. I mean, who would do that, Peter Sagal? That would be insane. I will say this - if you are going to bore us non-competitive bipeds with the particulars of your plans to screw up traffic in the fall, at least make it interesting. Take, for instance, the 50-year-old runner known as Uncle Chen, who recently completed a marathon in Xin'anjiang, China, in a time of three hours and 38 minutes, which might not sound all that impressive until you learn that Chen completed the event while chain-smoking an entire pack of cigarettes.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: This is reportedly the third race Chen has completed in under four hours while crushing heaters, which suggests the possibility of endorsement deals and corporate tie-ins. Marlboro - welcome to cross country. I've run 28.2 miles for a Camel. And of course, Virginia Slims - you've come a long way, baby.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A man in China runs a marathon of three hours, 30 minutes, while smoking the whole way. Your next story of the latest in jogging comes from Alzo Slade.

SLADE: Nike just announced a product that runners are hoping will be a game-changer. Most marathoners agree that it's pretty much a rite of passage to experience thigh and armpit chafing when running. The skin-to-skin chafing is bad enough, but the friction from clothes rubbing the skin can cause bleeding of the nipples so bad that by the time you get to the finish line, you've given up a few pints of blood and nobody wants to hug you congratulations.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: Nike's sports research lab thinks they have the solution - lube-releasing apparel. The product has sensors that detect heat increases from friction. Once a certain friction-causing heat threshold is reached, the lubricant activates from capsules in the clothing. The product was scheduled to hit the market by spring, but they're experiencing some significant delays after testing. Treadmills in the research lab became too greasy. Now, even though runners are excited for this, it's clear Nike has some work to do before the product is released, including changing the ad slogan. Lubricate to dominate is just not going to work.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Nike releases self-lubricating clothing to save runners from that terrible chafing. It is terrible. Your last story from the runner's world comes from Paula Poundstone.

POUNDSTONE: Runners and fans cry foul against Berkshire Marathon winner 25-year-old Theo Baker, who was chased the entire 26.2 mile marathon route by a Chihuahua. Moments after the starting gun, I felt a sharp pain. I looked down, and there was a dog literally hanging on to my right Achilles, says Baker. I shook it off, and it came right back after me. I thought for sure this stupid yappy thing would get tired or something, but it never did. I don't like the way he treated my dog Bitsy, says the Chihuahua's owner, Janet Ross. Yes, he received some bites, but none required stitches. And looking at the glass half full, one could also say that Bitsy, who he calls a yappy little F-word, helped him cut an hour off of his running time.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here are your choices. What was the big story in running this last week? From Adam Burke, a man ran a marathon in China at a quick pace, three hours 30, while smoking the entire way. From Alzo, Nike rolls out their new self-lubricating running gear to keep you from chafing. Or from Paula Poundstone, a man who set a PR and a course record in the marathon because he was being chased by a Chihuahua. Which of these is the real story from the world of running we saw this week?

CHERYL: I'm going to have to go with the first story - Adam's story of the chain-smoker.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Of the chain-smoker, the guy who smoked, you know, for nerves. Marathons are a little tense. You want to relax, smoke. It makes perfect sense to me. All right. We - to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a journalist covering the real story.

MARLEY DICKINSON: Smoking's known not really to help marathon running, but Uncle Chen seems to be proving different.

SAGAL: That's Marley Dickinson, a journalist for Canadian Running, talking about the chain-smoking marathoner known only as Uncle Chen. Congratulations, Cheryl. You got it right, you earned a point for Adam, and you have won our prize...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...The voice of your choice in your voicemail. Well done.

CHERYL: Thank you so much.

SAGAL: Thank you, Cheryl.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SMOKIN'")

BOSTON: (Singing) Smoking, smoking - we're cooking tonight, just keep on toking. Smoking...

SAGAL: And now the game where we ask experts about the one thing they are not an expert in. It's called Not My Job. Kentucky knows bourbon, and nobody knows more about bourbon than Freddie Johnson. He was actually born in Bourbon County and is a third-generation employee at Buffalo Trace Distillery, where he serves as the VIP visitor lead. We are delighted to talk to him, though not as delighted as we would be to drink with him. Freddie Johnson, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

(APPLAUSE)

FREDDIE JOHNSON: Peter, thank you.

SAGAL: Let's establish some things.

JOHNSON: All right.

SAGAL: So it's true. You were born in Bourbon County.

JOHNSON: Yes.

SAGAL: Like, Bourbon Country, bourbon - the actual place that bourbon is named for.

JOHNSON: Paris, Ky.

SAGAL: Paris, Ky., right?

JOHNSON: Right.

SAGAL: And you were born to a bourbon distillery worker who himself was the son of a bourbon distillery worker.

JOHNSON: That is correct.

SAGAL: Right.

JOHNSON: I was conceived in warehouse C, bottom floor.

(LAUGHTER)

JOHNSON: Oh, I shouldn't tell you that.

SAGAL: Really?

SLADE: (Laughter).

JOHNSON: That's another story. That's another story.

SAGAL: And that's where they keep the good stuff, too, so yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: Under the influence.

SAGAL: And what's amazing is - and just to prove his authenticity, before they let him out, they aged him here for 10 years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So you grew up around bourbon?

JOHNSON: Correct.

SAGAL: I mean, both the business and the drink, right?

JOHNSON: Yes.

SAGAL: Do you remember, like, when you tasted your first bourbon?

JOHNSON: I was about 5 years old.

SAGAL: Five years old?

JOHNSON: Yes.

SAGAL: And what did you think?

JOHNSON: I thought it was pretty good.

SAGAL: Really?

JOHNSON: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because we've all - the rest of us, myself speaking, and for a lot of other people have the story of, like, oh, we see our parents drinking this fun stuff in bottles. Let's try it. As a small child, you're like, yuck, burns, parents are crazy.

JOHNSON: No.

SAGAL: No, that was not your reaction.

JOHNSON: No, no, no.

SAGAL: Really?

JOHNSON: So you have to understand how this works.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: So parents have parties.

SAGAL: Yes, they do.

JOHNSON: And then they go to have dinner. You know, they have that pre-drink.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: And set the stage.

SAGAL: Pre-gaming.

JOHNSON: Yes.

SAGAL: You bet.

JOHNSON: And they put the glasses down. They go in. They have dinner.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: The kids - there's a glass, pretty good.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: Yes. That's not Buffalo Trace.

BURKE: OK. But...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, come on.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're good, sir. You're very good.

SLADE: That was smooth. That was smooth as the outfit you're wearing right there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So you grew up in the industry, but that wasn't your first career. You were an engineer - right?

JOHNSON: Right.

SAGAL: ...For AT&T for many years.

JOHNSON: Correct.

SAGAL: But then you came back, and so your job is you're the VIP sort of guide. So if, like, special people come to Buffalo Trace, you show them around, right?

JOHNSON: Well, I'm not the only one.

SAGAL: Right.

JOHNSON: It's a synergy. And we share it, and we work together to do things.

SAGAL: Sure.

SLADE: I feel like - but you could just tell people - like, I always wanted to be a tour guide because when people are listening to you, they're listening with intent, and you speak with confidence and conviction, and they'll believe anything that you say.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: Wait a minute. Hold on. Let me ask you this, Freddie. Do you ever get the urge...

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: ...To just be on a tour, and you be like, right over there is where Muhammad Ali and Henry Clay signed the Emancipation Proclamation...

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: ...That gave him the right to fight again?

(APPLAUSE)

JOHNSON: We're not that bad. We're not that bad.

SAGAL: Yeah, they do that stuff after the tasting at the end, I guess. All right, I'm going to ask you one last question. How do you - Freddie Johnson, VIP ambassador for Buffalo Trace, how do you enjoy your bourbon?

JOHNSON: It depends on my mood.

SAGAL: OK. Well, run through your moods.

JOHNSON: OK. If I'm in one of my little melancholy moods...

SAGAL: Yes.

JOHNSON: ...And I really don't want to be bugged by anybody...

SAGAL: I understand.

JOHNSON: ...My buddies know if they come by and they see me sitting out on the back of my house and I've got a cigar...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: ...And I've got a pour of bourbon...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: ...And I'm just sitting there...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: ...They just toot and drive on.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

JOHNSON: Yeah. It means I don't want to be bothered. I'm - you know, I've had it, OK? I like my bourbon - a lot of times I like it on the rocks. If I'm going to have it on the rocks, I put it in the fridge first. Sometimes I put it in the freezer, and all it does is it cools it down. The ice doesn't melt as fast, and I can sip on it for a longer period of time...

SAGAL: That's very smart.

JOHNSON: ...Without it being diluted.

SAGAL: Right.

JOHNSON: So usually it's on the rocks. Sometimes I'll have a water on the side.

SAGAL: And your feeling about bourbon cocktails or old fashioneds or anything like that?

JOHNSON: I'm fine with those. I tell people just to drink the way they like it. All I ask them to do is if it's one of those top shelf - right? - you just want to look at it bottles...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: ...Three unspoken rules, and I'm going to wind up with this.

SAGAL: Oh, go ahead.

JOHNSON: Three unspoken rules.

SAGAL: No, please, this is why you are here. Take your time, sir.

JOHNSON: And I bet you within the audience...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: ...When I speak these three unspoken rules, if you've got good bourbon, you have already done one of these three rules. The first unspoken rule is this. You will never even bring the bottle out with people you don't like.

(LAUGHTER)

JOHNSON: It's not going to happen. I'm not going to waste it on you, right?

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

JOHNSON: So that's the first unspoken rule. The second unspoken rule is if you do like them enough to bring the bottle out, guess what? They are required to listen to what you went through to get it before you pour them a drink.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right.

JOHNSON: You have to tell the story.

SAGAL: Right.

JOHNSON: All right? And the last unspoken rule is, if I do like you enough to bring the bottle out...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOHNSON: ...We are not going to be in a hurry to go anywhere. You never bring out a good bottle when you're rushed.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Rules for living, ladies and gentlemen.

SLADE: And, Freddie, could I - I'm not - this seems like another rule. Like, when you drink bourbon, you have to cross your legs at the knees...

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: ...Like you're sitting right now.

JOHNSON: That's the pose, isn't it?

(LAUGHTER)

JOHNSON: Yes, that's the image.

SAGAL: Well, Freddie Johnson, we could talk bourbon all day, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...

KURTIS: Try Aging in this Barrel.

SAGAL: As we have discussed, bourbon is aged in barrels. But what do you know about another use for barrels, namely climbing into them and then going over Niagara Falls?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Answer two of these three correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is bourbon ambassador Freddie Johnson playing for?

KURTIS: Alexandra Quintela of Louisville, Ky.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And if she's not a Buffalo Trace drinker now, she's obligated to become one if you win. All right. You ready to do this?

JOHNSON: I'm ready to do it.

SAGAL: Here's your first question. The first person to ever go over the falls in a barrel and survive was a woman named Annie Edson Taylor, who did it in 1901. She hoped to make money by going on tour with her barrel afterwards, but none of that worked out. Why not? Was it A, Ticketmaster crashed...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...From all the people trying to buy tickets to see it; B, her manager ran off with her barrel; or C, the very next day, somebody else stole her thunder by going up Niagara Falls in a barrel?

JOHNSON: Well, that's pretty cool.

(LAUGHTER)

JOHNSON: I think it's the latter.

SAGAL: You think it's the last one?

JOHNSON: Yes.

SAGAL: Somebody - so she goes over Niagara Falls in a barrel...

JOHNSON: Yeah.

(GROANING)

SLADE: Freddie. Freddie.

SAGAL: No, wait a minute. We respect this around here.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We respect this. I wish that could have happened. But in fact, what happened was her manager ran off with her barrel.

JOHNSON: Right (laughter).

SAGAL: Yeah. First rule of going over Niagara Falls in a barrel - keep your eyes on the barrel.

JOHNSON: Right.

SAGAL: All right. You have two more chances here. It's going to work out fine. The first - the next person to go over the falls and survive was a professional daredevil named Bobby Leach, who, ironically, died some years later of what? A, another person in a barrel hitting him in the head while he was in a boat at the bottom of the falls; B, slipping on an orange peel; or C, he got his shoelace caught in a down escalator?

JOHNSON: I think that it was the second one.

SAGAL: Slipping on an orange peel.

JOHNSON: No, no, no.

SAGAL: That's - no, that's what happened.

JOHNSON: Got it right (laughter)?

SAGAL: I'm sorry. You're right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Too late, I said it.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Professional daredevil - daredevil stunts, life-defying stunts all the time. It was a - ladies and gentlemen, remember, it's the citrus fruit that'll get you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Last question.

JOHNSON: That one was crazy.

SAGAL: It was. It happened, though...

JOHNSON: Yes. All right.

SAGAL: ...All true. More recently, a man named John David Munday tried to go over the Falls in 1985, but authorities who don't like this stopped him from doing it. How did they do it? A, they grabbed his barrel with a big magnet hanging from a helicopter; B, they used a dam to drop the water level of the river so low that his barrel just sat there; or C, they installed a giant tennis net all the way across the top of the falls.

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER: C.

SAGAL: They're yelling C. Don't trust them. They're all drunk.

(LAUGHTER)

JOHNSON: Well, that eliminates C, doesn't it?

SAGAL: Well, it might, yeah.

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBERS: B.

JOHNSON: A magnet?

SAGAL: Like a - the idea would be, like, a helicopter, like, lowers one of those big, enormous magnets like you see in the cartoons.

JOHNSON: Well, that kind of doesn't make sense either, does it?

SLADE: I agree with you, Freddie. I agree.

JOHNSON: I think we're kind of slipping into B, aren't we?

BURKE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Is that your choice then, B?

JOHNSON: Yeah. I think I'll go with B.

SAGAL: It's - that's what happened.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: They just...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They were able to dam the Niagara River, and so the water level went down, and he just...

PETER SAGAL AND ADAM BURKE: Sat there.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Freddie Johnson do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Freddie got two out of three. You're a winner.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: There you go.

KURTIS: Oh.

SLADE: Yay.

KURTIS: Good.

JOHNSON: Good.

SAGAL: Freddie Johnson is the VIP visitor lead at Buffalo Trace Distillery. You can find him there most days. But if he's sitting there with a glass of bourbon and a cigar, do not bother him.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Freddie Johnson, thank you so much for joining us.

(CHEERING)

JOHNSON: Thank you very, very much.

SAGAL: Freddie Johnson, everybody.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "STREAMS OF WHISKEY")

THE POGUES: (Singing) I am going, I am going any which way the wind might be calling.

SAGAL: In just a minute, find out who's cuddlier than you thought in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Alzo Slade, Paula Poundstone and Adam Burke.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: And here again is your host at the Louisville Palace Theatre in Louisville, Ky., Peter Sagal.

SAGAL: Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill is my rhyme or die in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, though, panel, it is time for you to answer some more questions from the week's news. Paula, Jeff Bezos, who until recently was the richest man in the world, has never been known for philanthropy, but he just gave away $100 million to what needy person?

POUNDSTONE: Dolly Parton.

SAGAL: Yes, Paula.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He gave $100 million to Dolly Parton.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: She was starving.

SAGAL: She was.

POUNDSTONE: She was actually starving.

SAGAL: She was starving. Yeah. She - I mean, now she'll be able to quit her 9-to-5 job.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So let's say you're a terrible rich person. What can you do to make yourself look better? Give away a lot of money to a much better rich person.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right? Miss Parton - of course, she does a lot of charitable works. She'll use the money well. But couldn't he think of something on his own to do with it? Or was he just like, here, Dolly, you know a lot of poor people. Buy them some snacks or something.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: But we've seen what he does with his money, so I'm not even mad at him because he's just probably going to go - try to go to Pluto, thinking that it's a planet still.

SAGAL: Right. You have - he doesn't have that gear, that charitable thing. He doesn't think - like, he'd be - he'll, like, do you know there are people living on the streets of Los Angeles who have never been to the moon?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: No, but they bought for three homeless people three Taylor Swift tickets.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: So beautiful.

BURKE: They weren't homeless people. They were just in line for Taylor Swift tickets.

SAGAL: Adam, the Japanese convenience store Lawson has become the exclusive distributor of a new candy that tastes like what?

BURKE: Robots.

SAGAL: No. It does not taste like robots. What would a robot taste like?

BURKE: The future?

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Can you give me a clue?

SAGAL: I can. Well, it's a little like, say, a Reese's cup, except without the chocolate or peanut butter.

BURKE: It tastes like abstraction - what do you mean?

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: That's deep, man. That's deep.

SAGAL: If you take a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup...

BURKE: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...Candy, and you take away the chocolate, and you take away the peanut butter, what are you left with?

BURKE: Nothing.

SAGAL: Nothing. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You're left with nothing. It tastes like nothing.

BURKE: I think I got it in there somewhere. It tastes like nothing?

SAGAL: It's called Tasteless? Candy, with a question mark after the word tasteless, as if even the manufacturers aren't sure this is a good idea.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I think that it isn't.

SAGAL: It's great for making sure you don't binge on your candy and for tricking friends into thinking they have COVID.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know, I eat just packages of sugar sometimes.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Is that why you're no longer allowed in that Starbucks?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: No. Something else happened in that Starbucks.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, a worldwide nutrition advocacy group started a campaign this week with the goal of helping people think of beans as what?

POUNDSTONE: A main course?

SAGAL: Beyond that.

POUNDSTONE: Currency?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's my new crypto. It's called BeanCoin (ph).

POUNDSTONE: Do you want to give me a hint, Peter?

SAGAL: Yeah. Like, they want people to ask their garbanzo to put its hair down and take its glasses off.

POUNDSTONE: Sexy?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: They want to make beans sexy.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, they're not.

SLADE: That ain't going to happen.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Just eat them.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Bean people, if you're listening - and do listen, bean people - they're good. They taste good. They're easy to prepare just by themselves, and yet they can be a part of many dishes, bean people. Leave the sex out of it, bean people.

SLADE: Yeah.

BURKE: Yeah, but...

POUNDSTONE: By even bringing up sex, you're making people go, ew, beans. Do you see what I'm saying?

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "HOT IN HERRE")

NELLY: (Singing) It's hot in - so hot in here. So hot in...

SAGAL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago and in New York at Carnegie Hall on December 8 and 9. Also, the Wait Wait Stand-Up Tour is coming to a city near you in December. Tickets and information about all of it is at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

SUSANNA: Hi, this is Susanna (ph), and I'm calling from Los Angeles.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in LA?

SUSANNA: Fantastic. The weather's wonderful. Everything is great here.

SAGAL: Wow. You've really drunk that Kool-Aid, haven't you?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What do you do there?

SUSANNA: Well, Peter, I was originally from Chicago, Ill.

SAGAL: Oh, I see.

SUSANNA: So if you compare the 10-day forecast, yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah, I can see that. Well, welcome to the show, Susanna. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to play?

SUSANNA: Ready.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

KURTIS: My dog has a name that's timebomb-y. I want her to soothe me and calm me. With her sweet, snippy bark, she's my fur matriarch. I love our new puppy named...

SUSANNA: Balmy?

SAGAL: Not balmy. Matriarch is a clue. You have - so it rhymes with Commie, balmy. Nothing?

SUSANNA: I don't know.

SAGAL: It's Mommy.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Well, that's 'cause that's a ridiculous name for a dog.

SAGAL: I know. Well, that's the problem. You probably said to yourself, well, it can't be Mommy. Who would name their dog Mommy? And the answer is an increasing number of people.

POUNDSTONE: No.

SAGAL: New report - a survey of dog names finds that one of the names growing in popularity for dogs is Mommy. It's just the latest sign that Americans are not well.

SLADE: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Honestly.

SLADE: You call your dog Mommy?

SAGAL: Some people just need to be able to say Mommy gives me unconditional love. She's always by my side. And Mommy pooped on the rug today.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: You're just inviting confusion.

SAGAL: You really are. If you don't know they have a dog, it's like, oh, that? That crate is where Mommy sleeps.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, there's a lot of problems with that, I think.

SLADE: A lot of problems.

SAGAL: We're not recommending it. We're just telling you about it. All right. You still have two more chances. You'll get this next one. Here we go.

KURTIS: My head and my heart are a muddle. I am joining the gobbling bird huddle. I'm feeling quite quirky, so I'm picking a turkey. I hug it and give it a...

SUSANNA: Cuddle.

SAGAL: Cuddle. Yay.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There is an animal sanctuary in California that is giving people the chance, as we come up to Thanksgiving next week - giving people the chance to hug a turkey. It's all part of the Come Snuggle The Ugliest Bird There Is initiative.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ellie Laks is the owner of the sanctuary. She says she got the idea of offering people the chance to snuggle turkeys when one of her turkeys followed her around all day, so she sat on the ground and spent 25 minutes cuddling the turkey and singing songs to the turkey, proving that running an animal sanctuary really doesn't demand a lot of your time.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I went to an animal sanctuary in California, and I did spend a lot of time with a turkey. And it was delightful. You know, under - they're very sweet.

BURKE: Is this, like, the bargain basement version of swimming with dolphins?

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: This is for people who don't know how to swim.

POUNDSTONE: I wonder if there's one dolphin ever that's for its birthday said, you know, I'd love to swim with some people.

(LAUGHTER)

SLADE: Well, this is what I'm saying about the turkey. Like, if I was a turkey, I wouldn't want to hug some humans.

BURKE: Yeah.

SLADE: Especially if you're going to eat me, like, a couple days later.

BURKE: Maybe the turkey that's being hugged is like, for God's sake, could you just cook me already?

SAGAL: Stop torturing me. All right. Here's your last limerick. If you get this one, you win. Here we go.

KURTIS: Our impact protection's top-notch. My lap is quite safe here - just watch. When the car's in a crash, the seat puffs in a flash, and an airbag's protecting my...

SUSANNA: Crotch?

SAGAL: Crotch. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hyundai has just filed a patent for an airbag designed to protect the driver's crotch.

SLADE: You could stop with Hyundai.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's great news if it works well, bad news if it works really well. In the event of a crash, the crotch bag inflates between your legs. Unfortunately, in testing, they've taken too long to inflate because the bag insists on buying you dinner first.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: By the way, if you're excited about this, but you can't wait to buy one of these new Hyundais, you can still get a crotch airbag by lifting up your legs and putting your feet at ten and two.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Susanna do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Very well - 2 out of 3. That's a win.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing. Take care.

SUSANNA: Thank you so much.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

SUSANNA: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WRECKING BALL")

MILEY CYRUS: (Singing) I came in like a wrecking ball. I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me. Yeah, you wrecked me.

SAGAL: Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give me the scores?

KURTIS: Paula has two, Alzo has two and Adam has three.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. So it's two...

POUNDSTONE: No, you confused me and Adam. I have three.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. So Paula and Alzo are, in fact, tied for second. Alzo, I'm going to choose you arbitrarily to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the AP projected that Republicans had won enough seats to control the blank.

SLADE: House.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a judge temporarily blocked the program, the White House had stopped taking applications for blank forgiveness.

SLADE: Loan forgiveness.

SAGAL: Student loans, yes.

SLADE: Student loans.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, NATO said that the missile that landed in blank likely was not fired by Russia.

SLADE: Poland.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a woman walking her dog on a beach in California barely escaped after being attacked by a pack of blanks.

SLADE: Wolves.

SAGAL: No. Standard poodles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ahead of the first game on Sunday, calls to boycott the 2022 blank in Qatar grew.

SLADE: World Cup.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, both houses of Congress passed a bill allowing research of medical blank.

SLADE: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police in Arizona had to send out a warning reminding people to...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Please not blank.

SLADE: Eat beans.

SAGAL: No, please not...

SLADE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Please do not buy owls from strangers while high on drugs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A police department near Phoenix posted the statement on their Facebook page after a man was caught buying an owl from a stranger at a gas station for 100 bucks.

SLADE: That's a hell of a side hustle - selling owls.

BURKE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Yeah, man.

SLADE: Who (imitating owl) wants one?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Alzo got five right - 10 more points, total of 12, goes into the game in the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula - Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Nancy Pelosi announced she would not seek the role of blank in the next Congress.

POUNDSTONE: Speaker of the House.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, NASA successfully launched the unmanned Artemis 1 mission to the blank.

POUNDSTONE: To the moon.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the world's population officially grew to blank billion people.

POUNDSTONE: Eight.

POUNDSTONE: Yes, 8 billion.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: On Monday, Google agreed to a $391 million settlement over blank violations.

POUNDSTONE: Privacy?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Disney filed a patent for the first ever roller coaster that blanks.

POUNDSTONE: Ooh - they can't get off.

SAGAL: No, that jumps off the track and flies through the air.

POUNDSTONE: Aw.

SAGAL: This week, CNN said it would no longer allow anchors to drink during the live blank coverage election.

POUNDSTONE: Election.

SAGAL: (Laughter) No, they need that. New Year's Eve. On Sunday, a cruise ship was forced to dock early after 800 passengers tested positive for blank.

POUNDSTONE: COVID.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, an astronomer regained access to a Twitter account after she was banned...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...For posting a video of blank that was deemed inappropriately intimate.

POUNDSTONE: Elon Musk.

SAGAL: No, a video of a meteor. Mary McIntyre's account was locked for three months after an automated moderator deemed her video of a meteor to be too intimate. The astronomer was thrilled to have her account back, though she was immediately banned again when she posted a celebratory picture of Uranus.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She did very well - five right, 10 more points, total of 12. That mean she's tied...

SAGAL: All right.

KURTIS: ...With Alzo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. How many, then, does Adam need to win?

KURTIS: Five to win.

SAGAL: Here you go, Adam - well within your capability. This is for the game. On Monday, President Biden had his first in-person meeting with the president of blank.

BURKE: China.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Senate advanced a bill aimed at protecting same-sex blank.

BURKE: Marriage.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tuesday, Ukrainian President Zelenskyy visited the newly liberated city of blank.

BURKE: Kershon (ph).

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Good enough. This week, one lucky bidder set an auction house record when he paid over $200,000 for Steve Jobs' blank.

BURKE: Used Birkenstocks.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Well-used Birkenstocks. This week, Karen Bass became the first woman to be elected mayor of blank.

BURKE: Los Angeles.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Beyonce led the pack with nine total nominations for the 2022 blank awards.

BURKE: Grammys.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man accused of stabbing a bar patron in Louisiana said...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...It was all a misunderstanding, and he was just blanking.

BURKE: Trying to make his shirt into a crop top.

SAGAL: No. He said he was just showing off his knife when the man went in for a hug.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know how it is. You're so excited. You want to show all your buddies your brand new knife. So you pull it out, you start making stabby motions, right? But then your friend goes in for a hug and, whoops, now he's in the hospital.

SLADE: He looked like a turkey.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's nice, though, to finally see people who say, I'm a hugger, get what they deserve.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, let's count them out. Six right, 12 more points, 15 means he's the winner.

SAGAL: Hey, Adam Burke.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, congratulations.

SAGAL: Now, panel, what will we all be thankful for at next year's Thanksgiving? Alzo Slade.

SLADE: That the McRib is finally on its farewell tour, and hopefully it doesn't come back.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula Poundstone.

POUNDSTONE: Passports.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Adam Burke.

BURKE: My brand-new financial platform, Currency, where you just take all your money and put it in a mattress.

KURTIS: Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

SAGAL: Thank you, Bill Kurtis. Thanks also to Alzo Slade, Adam Burke, Paula Poundstone. Thanks to the staff and crew at the beautiful Louisville Palace Theatre and everyone at Louisville Public Media. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in Louisville.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: And thanks to all of you for listening. I am Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SAGAL: This is NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.