A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin: When I left news and started Wild Card, I thought back over the many years of interviews I had done, and I did a mental inventory of people I'd like to go back and talk to again through this game. It would have to be someone who is honest about their life and it helps if they don't take themselves too seriously. And when I thought about who I'd want to hear answer these questions, I immediately thought of Rob Delaney.
Delaney is a comedian and an actor known for creating and co-starring in the award-winning series Catastrophe. And he's currently in the summer blockbuster Deadpool & Wolverine. I first talked to Rob in 2022 right after his memoir came out. It's called A Heart That Works, and here's where I tell you that Rob has lived through the worst of things. The book is about the death of his two-year-old son from brain cancer.
But believe me when I say that I have never read a book that made me laugh as much as it made me cry. I've thought a lot about that conversation with Rob since then. I'm a parent, so it's inevitable that a story would stay with me. But specifically, I feel grateful to him because he gave me this ridiculous image. When we talked about what happens after we die, he said, "I think we're ingredients in the big stew and we'll be mixed into dinner for some cosmic Godzilla. And he, in turn, will metabolize us and then belch us into his next incarnation."
This is now what I teach my children about the afterlife. And I was hoping for some more weird metaphors to inform my parenting, which is why I wanted Delaney to play this game.
This Wild Card interview has been edited for length and clarity. Host Rachel Martin asks guests randomly-selected questions from a deck of cards. Tap play above to listen to the full podcast, or read an excerpt below.
Question 1: What's a moment when a stranger made you feel loved?
Rob Delaney: Oh my gosh. I want to be honest with you now, but I have some memories that I've never told people before. Not ever. And it's not that they're so intense, but they're just sort of these touchstone things that I can revisit when I'm sad or angry to think about people's goodness.
One is so strange: It's a snowy day. I'm in elementary school, maybe fourth grade. And I was in a hallway at my school, and an adult woman, who didn't work at the school, I don't know who she was, came in and, like, snow came in with her and was, you know, swirling around her. It was maybe the last day of school before Christmas. And I remember she looked at me and she just said, "I hope you have a merry Christmas."
She made eye contact with me, and I'd never seen her before, and it just felt so nice to have an adult stranger look at me, a stranger boy, and just say something, nothing remarkable, but just a sweet thing. I think she might've been an angel.
Rachel Martin: Do you actually think that?
Delaney: Yeah. Because why does it stick with me for so many years? It's one of those things where there was something deeper happening in that moment than just the words. I think she was a special, special person who visited me. I also feel nervous that I told you about it, because that's one of my special memories. So please anyone listening, forget you heard this or, alternately, please treasure it like I do.
Question 2: What is a failure you still think about?
Delaney: The thing is, I love failure. I love it. I smash it up into a powder and I snort it. It's so good.
Martin: [laughs]
Delaney: Catastrophe did well as a show, ran for four seasons, it won awards.
Martin: I loved it.
Delaney: Thank you. And then the pilot I made after that, every network was like, "Get out. This stinks." And I was like, "Yes! You think that's gonna stop me?" I know now that the staircase to success, the only thing you can build it out of is failures. So I'm glad that I still fail.
Martin: How did you get so wise on that? Like, you couldn't have come out of the womb that way.
Delaney: No, God no. I mean, I think the death of our son Henry has got to be a big part of that. Like, "Oh, the big network didn't want my show? So what." You know what I mean? I'm not really phased by certain things that I used to be. And also, if you're going to be an artist of any value, you really have to guard and cultivate your humility. And nothing contributes to that like a solid failure. So, yeah, now I think, "Oh cool, the next thing I do will be better."
Question 3: Is there anything in your life that has felt predestined?
Delaney: I don't feel it's predestined, but I do feel very lucky that I am doing, for a career, what I wanted to do as a child. I feel very, very lucky. For example, the premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine was at Lincoln Center. To get there, I had to walk by Juilliard, which I auditioned for in 1995. I did my Twelfth Night monologue and I didn't make it past the first round.
Now I walked by there and waved at the window as I walked into the Deadpool & Wolverine premiere, you know? And so that was an interesting through line. Thank you, Julliard, for not accepting me.
Martin: So I'm going to lead us back to this question, because, if you don't feel like anything is predestined, is that a concept that even resonates with you? The idea of fate, of a pattern of things happening in the way they were supposed to happen.
Delaney: I mean, I'm imagining sort of like a laser, or perhaps a thin, long, but not disgusting tentacle coming out of my forehead and going miles into the future, right? The utility of the tentacle is that it can wrap around something way ahead of you and then reel back in and pull you towards it.
Or perhaps if it's a laser, it has a tractor beam element, except you're getting pulled forward. So I do think it is useful to cast your mind and your heart forward towards things, because that works. I don't know why. But that has real value.
Martin: But it feels more like chance?
Delaney: You know what it's like? It's like curling. You can throw the stone, and God knows where it's gonna go. But you can gently influence it by running after it in your bowling shoes and polishing the ice with your broom in front of it.
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