Working from home allowed him to be a more engaged dad. Now it’s over
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Andrew DiDonato, a construction plan review specialist with Philadelphia's Department of Licenses and Inspections, stands near City Hall on July 22, 2024. After four years of working a hybrid schedule, he's been called back into the office five days a week.Rachel Wisniewski for NPR -
Andrew DiDonato takes the train home from Philadelphia's Suburban Station on July 22, 2024.Rachel Wisniewski for the NPR -
Andrew DiDonato looks on as his wife Ashley pulls their daughter Rosalie's hair back to match her dad's in their home in Philadelphia on July 22, 2024.Rachel Wisniewski for the NPR -
Andrew DiDonato's three children Rosalie (in white t-shirt), Liliana (sitting) and Massimo (standing) on the boat he built for Rosalie's school play, Moana Junior.Andrew DiDonato -
The Municipal Services Building where Andrew DiDonato works in Philadelphia.Rachel Wisniewski for the NPR -
Andrew and Ashley DiDonato with their children (from left), Liliana, Rosalie, and Massimo outside their home in Philadelphia on July 22, 2024.Rachel Wisniewski for the NPR
Return-to-office policies are getting stricter, upending the lives of those who had gotten used to working from home.
Employers are stepping up the number of days their employees need to show up in person, arguing it promotes stronger social connections, better collaboration and fairness in the workplace. A survey last year by the professional services firm KPMG found two-thirds of CEOs predicting a full return to office by 2026.
In the city of Philadelphia, it's already happening.
This summer, the city's new mayor Cherelle Parker made good on her promise to give residents a government they could "see, touch and feel," ordering all municipal employees back to the office five days a week.
On July 15, several thousand city workers bid farewell to the hybrid work schedules they'd had since 2020 and returned to their daily commutes.
Remote work was a pipe dream until it became the new normal
For Andrew DiDonato, who reviews residential building permits for Philadelphia's Licenses and Inspections Department, the commute is 45 minutes to an hour each way, depending on train delays.
He'd been doing that two days a week until last month. The other three days, DiDonato worked from home.
It was a schedule he never would have thought possible before the pandemic, when remote work was something people would joke about.
"Like the pipe dream of flying cars," he says.
As luck would have it, his department was ready to go fully online when the pandemic hit. Just two days before COVID briefly shuttered its offices in March 2020, the city rolled out a new online permitting system, which had been in the works for years. Instead of having to come in to apply for permits, residents could now do everything online.
The timing couldn't have been better for him and for the city's residents, all stuck in their homes.
"Within months, everyone was using it," says DiDonato.
He quickly found he could do his job just fine on a hybrid schedule.
What he discovered he was doing better was parenting. It was a revelation.
Freed from the daily commute, DiDonato no longer had to leave the house every morning before the kids were awake.
That opened up more options for his wife Ashley, who’d stayed home since their third child was born. She got a part-time job working early mornings at a fitness center.
"It was one of those moments where something perfect falls in your lap," she says. "It was exactly what I needed."
Being around for breakfast, homework, afterschool clubs
Now it was Dad who got the mornings going, getting the kids up, feeding them breakfast and talking about the day ahead.
"All those extra conversations I get to have with my kids during those little moments I was gone for," says DiDonato. "I'm hearing about what they're concerned with about school, what they're excited for."
At the end of the work day, instead of the tiresome train ride home, he was helping with homework and volunteering with after-school clubs. His oldest, 10-year-old Rosalie, joined the school play, the musical Moana Junior.
Drawing on his years in construction, DiDonato built Moana's boat for the set.
"It was a real life-sized boat," says Rosalie, beaming at her dad.
The family got used to this more balanced life.
"It wasn’t something we had for a couple weeks or a couple months," says DiDonato. "It was four years."
And now, it’s gone. With DiDonato back in the office full-time, Ashley has had to cut back her hours at the fitness center and pick up a Sunday shift.
"We’re forced back into these systems that are no longer working for us," she says. "It feels like it’s taking a step backwards."
City leaders embrace a different philosophy
In Philadelphia, city officials acknowledged the return-to-office decision wasn't driven by concerns about productivity. Rather, it was in pursuit of what they called a leadership philosophy.
Mayor Parker has cited the many thousands of city employees — sanitation workers, social workers, the water department — who never had the ability to work from home.
"I need us all right now to make a sacrifice for our city," she said at a press conference this summer.
Parker has also made clear she wants the city’s return-to-office plan to be a model for private-sector employers, part of her effort to make a more economically vibrant Philadelphia.
"That’s the ultimate goal," she said.
"Can't put the toothpaste back in the tube."
This leaves DiDonato at a crossroads.
He's worked for the city for seven years and likes his job. It comes with some pretty great benefits, including health care for the family, a free train pass and a pension to look forward to.
But these days, he's asking himself: Is all that worth the cherished family time he’s giving up? After living the hybrid life for four years, he’s not sure he can go without.
"It’s one of those things where you can’t put the toothpaste back in tube," he says.
Transcript
MARY LOUISE KELLY, HOST:
Return-to-office policies are getting stricter, upending the lives of those who had gotten used to working from home. In a survey of CEOs last year, two-thirds predicted a full return to the office by 2026. In some places, this is already happening. NPR's Andrea Hsu checked in on one family struggling with their new reality in a city that has called all its workers back.
ANDREA HSU, BYLINE: When Cherelle Parker was running to be mayor of Philadelphia, she promised the city a more visible and accessible government.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
CHERELLE PARKER: A city government that our residents can see, touch and feel.
HSU: Well, this summer she made good on that promise by ordering all city employees back to the office five days a week, starting July 15. For several thousand city workers, it was farewell to hybrid work...
(SOUNDBITE OF CARD READER BEEPING)
HSU: ...And hello again to the daily commute.
ANDREW DIDONATO: Oh, great. There's already delays on the train.
HSU: I meet Andrew DiDonato after work at the train station in Center City, Philadelphia. His round trip time in transit...
DIDONATO: Ninety minutes to two hours, depending.
HSU: Which was OK when it was only two days a week. But now, especially when the train's 20 minutes late...
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: Boarding for track four.
HSU: ...It wears on him. DiDonato works for the city's licenses and inspections department. He's been there seven years. He's the guy who reviews your permit application if you're building or renovating a home. He lives in his childhood home in Northeast Philly with his wife and three kids.
MASSIMO: I'm the genius of gymnastics.
HSU: That's Massimo (ph). He's 6. There's also 10-year-old Rosalie (ph) and 9-year-old Lily (ph).
LILY: Dad.
DIDONATO: Hi, Lily. Oh.
LILY: I haven't seen you all day.
DIDONATO: I know you haven't seen me all day.
HSU: The kids miss him now that he is gone all day. Of course, this used to be the norm. Before the pandemic, DiDonato says, remote work was something people joked about.
DIDONATO: People talked about it like the pipe dream of flying cars.
HSU: Coincidentally, just days before COVID shut down the city in March of 2020, his department rolled out a new online permitting system that had been in the works for years.
DIDONATO: Within months, everybody was using it.
HSU: So much so that even with in-person appointments back, far fewer people come in. DiDonato quickly found he could do his job - reviewing permit applications - just fine from home three days a week. What he discovered he was doing better was parenting. It was a revelation. No longer was he out of the house before the kids were up. His wife, Ashley (ph), who'd stayed home since their son was born, got a part-time job working early mornings at a fitness center.
ASHLEY: It was one of those moments where something perfect falls in your lap. It was exactly what I needed when I needed.
HSU: And now Dad got the kids up, fed them breakfast, talked about the day ahead.
DIDONATO: All those extra conversations I get to have with my kids during those little moments that I was gone for.
HSU: And at the end of the workday, he was immediately available to help with homework and afterschool clubs. His oldest, Rosalie, joined the school play, and Dad got a role, too.
ROSALIE: He built the boat.
DIDONATO: The play was...
ASHLEY: The "Moana"...
DIDONATO: ..."Moana Junior."
ASHLEY: Yeah, the "Moana" boat.
DIDONATO: So I built Moana's boat.
ROSALIE: And it was, like, a real-life size.
ASHLEY: It was. It was huge.
HSU: Over time, they all got used to this life.
DIDONATO: It wasn't something we had for a couple weeks or a couple months. It was four years.
HSU: And now it's gone. With DiDonato in the office full time, Ashley has had to cut back her hours and pick up a weekend shift.
ASHLEY: We're forced into these systems that are no longer working for us. It feels like it's taking a step backwards.
HSU: Workers all across America may share this view, but increasingly, they're butting up against a different philosophy - that for workplaces to thrive, you can't just have part of the workforce show up on any given day. In Philadelphia, Mayor Parker has cited the many thousands of city employees who never worked from home - social workers, sanitation workers, the water department. She says she wants the city's return-to-office plan to be a model for others in Center City.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
PARKER: In efforts to make a more vibrant Philadelphia, that's the ultimate goal.
HSU: So Andrew DiDonato is at a crossroads. He likes his job. It comes with some pretty great benefits - health care, a free train pass and a city pension to look forward to. But is all that worth the key family time he's giving up?
DIDONATO: It's one of those things where you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
HSU: After living the hybrid life for four years, he's not sure he can go without. Andrea Hsu, NPR News, Philadelphia. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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